Batman: Enemy of Gotham
by Gimili101
Summary: The conclusion to my "Defender of Gotham" Batman series.
1. Fugitive

**Notes: as much as I like Batman, one problem with the various versions of him is that it's hard to truly conclude them. After all, he fights a war on crime that can never be won. I am trying to do the next best thing with my Defender of Gotham series of fanfics: do a big story that wraps things up with a bang. Let me know when the time comes.**

**Also, as always, I remind you that this version of Catwoman is black. A couple media interpretations of her were, so I have precedence on my side.**

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

It had been a fall and early winter of surprises for Gotham City. Although Councilman Pete Trobotti had won the mayoral election in a landslide with the help of his organized crime contacts, The Huntress had blackmailed those very contacts into threatening to kill Trobotti if he accepted the Mayor's Mansion. It was Charles Falsootu, Trobotti's candidate for Deputy Mayor, who had been sworn in as Mayor.

As a result, Gotham had a thirty-six-year-old Mayor, the youngest ever to hold this office. This man had little of a record. In fact, he had actually been chosen precisely because of his youth and inexperience, so as to add fresh blood to Trobotti's ticket. He had never actually been intended to become Mayor without becoming more experience in politics. But fate has a way of destroying the best-laid plans.

It was for this reason that Bruce Wayne was delaying his patrol as The Batman long enough to watch Falsootu's State of the City Address in person. Bruce's status in the business community gave him a seat.

Falsootu had been vague about what he intended to do in his Inaugural Address, only promising to "Clean up Gotham." Every Mayor in Gotham's history had made this promise. None had been able to keep it.

Perhaps to show that he was serious, Falsootu began the State of the City by addressing crime. "You may not know many outside city limits, so I'll tell you what popular opinion of Gotham City is. It's that this is Heaven for criminals. As hard as that is to hear, it's at least a partial truth." Despite the tough love, members of the City Council and other guests clapped.

"Knowing you have a problem is only the first step," continued Falsootu. "We must solve it. Therefore, as of tonight, I am placing a warrant for the arrest of the vigilante known as The Batman and his allies." Some clapped. Others were in surprised silence.

_Oh, no. _Was Batman about to have to start escaping the police?

"I am also prepared to offer reward money for anyone who apprehends or provides information leading to the arrest or arrests of these criminals," said Falsootu. "Ten thousand dollars for the capture of the child known as Robin. And I implore this teenage boy: turn yourself in. Because you a brainwashed child, we are willing to forgive."

_Accused of using a child like street gangs do. That sure is hard to take!_

"Twenty-five thousand will be offered for the capture of The Huntress," continued Falsootu. "The Batgirl and Nightwing are valued at fifty thousand. I should note that Nightwing must be apprehended in Gotham City limits. I have no authority over, Bludhaven. And I'm not asking for it. I'm confident that Mayor Phillips of Bludhaven will do what is right and prosecute her own loose cannon."

Bruce took his phone out of his pocket and texted Dick Grayson, AKA, Nightwing: "I don't need your help with my current problem. Stay in Bludhaven where it's slightly safer."

Falsootu had a stern face as he addressed Batman himself. "As for the leader of this rat pack, Batman himself, he has chosen to thumb his nose at the law. He does what is the job of the police without any of the tact or subtlety required. And worse, he has indoctrinated innocent women and children into this. The reward for his capture can be no less than a hundred thousand dollars!"

Once again, a divide between applause and silence spread throughout the chamber.

"I thank those who I can tell recognize the wisdom of my decision," smiled Falsootu. "Unfortunately, I can also see others, including members of the police, media, and City Council who want to make public statements defending Batman and his friends. You'll say that he has not crossed the line. You'll call him a hero for bringing archcriminals to justice. This is why I must respectfully disagree. Someone who tip-toes towards the line has already gone too far! Commissioner Gordon has been trying to get him to step back, but he won't listen. I am not waiting before Batman snaps."

Mix of applause and silence.

"And as for his heroism," argued Falsootu, "I want everyone here to ask themselves why before The Dark Knight had made a name for himself, none of the crime sprees of The Joker, Poison Ivy, Mad Hatter, Two-Face, or Killer Croc had ever happened? The answer, it seems, is that Batman has made the following challenge: Gotham City is mine. Try and take it! Since then, they have all attacked this fair city at least three times each. And we cannot forget the Traylor crime family in this. After all, they and their matriarch, with her attraction to Batman, took over the Gotham underworld only on Batman's watch. His challenge is itself to blame for them! I say enough is enough! Gotham City doesn't need a champion who draws such negative attention."

Bruce would have felt very, very angry if he had not heard this argument before. Now one of the people making it was in charge. Batman's life had just gotten more complicated.

**Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:**

Few members of the GCPD leadership liked the direction that the new Mayor had chosen to go in. And now Freeman, Detective Harvey Bullock, and Sergeant Renee Montoya were overhearing the dispute between Commissioner James Gordon and Mayor Falsootu the morning after he had declared war on The Batman.

"I won't do it," said Gordon. "And that's final. You've got him wrong, Mr. Mayor."

"I know you've been misguided in your support for him," said Falsootu, "But your Mayor is giving you an order."

"Believe me," said Gordon. "I don't want to disrespect your authority. But you're asking me to punish a man for being a hero. I cannot do that."

"As an officer of the law," Falsootu reminded Gordon, "You are sworn to obey orders by your Mayor."

"In that case," said Gordon, "I resign in protest."

"You've been serving this force well since I was a little boy," said Falsootu with a voice that indicated a heavy heart. "Don't do this. This is almost forty years of service. He doesn't deserve it."

"He saved my children," said Gordon. "Don't bother twisting that into some hidden agenda. I don't want to hear it... sir. I won't trade my dignity for my career. At my age, I'll get fired in the next five years, anyway."

_Damn you, Falsootu!_

Within seconds, Gordon had walked out of the room, but stopped. "My retirement's come early. You'll have to ask his honor who your next Commissioner will be. It's been an honor to serve with you, Freeman, Montoya, Bullock."

"And you," said Freeman, giving Gordon a military salute.

"Enjoy your retirement," said Montoya.

"Don't take shit from nobody," suggested Bullock.

Gordon walked to the nearest elevator. Many officers acknowledged him with heavy hearts.

"Freeman, inside," called Falsootu. Freeman entered.

"I'll announce his replacement first thing tomorrow," promised Falsootu. "For now, you have two duties. First of all, we are throwing a goodbye party for the former Commissioner at 3:15. Second, you are to turn on the Batsignal so we can celebrate Batman's own retirement tonight."

"Yes, sir," said Freeman. Of course, he planned to sabotage the Batsignal. It would be difficult to do so without getting caught, but he had to try. After all, with a mad Mayor, Gotham needed The Dark Knight's help like never before!

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

Because Commissioner James Gordon was Barbara's father and Bruce had a good working relationship with him, Bruce had giving himself and Barbara (an office worker at Wayne Enterprises) the rest of the day off to honor one of Gotham's greatest cops.

Barbara could not help noticing that Bruce was still dressed in a plain suit at a party. "Why didn't you change?" asked Barbara. "Wait... do you find it hard to dress without Alfred?"

"Well..." began Bruce.

Barbara tried not to laugh, but still whispered into Bruce's ear, "Sometimes I think you play your helpless rich man role too well for your own good. I've embarrassed you long enough." She walked over to her father, who was drinking wine.

"It's not right," said Jimmy, who was already next to his father, James.

"Sometimes life isn't right," said James.

"What now?" asked Barbara.

"I'm staying in Gotham long enough for little Jimmy to get into college," explained James. "After that, I'll probably move to Florida."

"That's it?" asked Barbara. "You're giving up?"

"You don't understand," said James. "I'm a police officer... or at least I was. The Mayor has fired me. I strongly disagree with his course of action, but it's his decision. I'm not challenging it."

"He deserves to be questioned," insisted Jimmy. Barbara nodded in agreement.

"It's not about 'deserve,'" James said. "Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. The Mayor doesn't have to earn my compliance. It's been his since he took the oath."

"What about Batman?" asked Barbara. _And Batgirl, who happens to be me._

"If he doesn't do the same," said James, "He and his friends are in big trouble. But to be honest, they're ten percent at fault here."

"How?" asked Barbara. She was surprised to hear that from James, Batman's strongest advocate.

"I tried to warn Batman," said James, now frustrated. "He thumbs his nose at authority, is only seen when he wants to be, is excessively violent, surprises allies from behind. That last part is one thing I won't miss about this job."

"Hey, he gets the job done," Jimmy defended Batman.

"True," acknowledged James. "But many don't see it that way. He doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of him. But making too many enemies and too few friends is a terrible way to do business. Now he's on the most wanted list with The Joker and Poison Ivy when they're on the loose. And this time, I can't do anything about it."

Barbara felt a mix of anger and depression fill her. She felt for her father for the way his career had ended. She also felt for Batman. He never showed much emotion. But Barbara knew that deep down inside, he had to be heartbroken that the city he had spent his adult life defending had turned against him.

Barbara's anger was directed at Falsootu. This was all his fault. His paranoia had lead him destroy one of the world's finest men and he sought to do the same to another. But the chain of command _did _tie James' hands. Batgirl could actually do something about this.

**Bruce's perspective:**

"How was the party?" asked Tim when the two were in Wayne Manor, waiting for Barbara.

"I routinely flirt with death," said Bruce. "But never have I been hurt as much as I was today at that party when I knew that Jim's career had been ended because he wouldn't do the wrong thing."

"What about Babs?"

"She's taking it even harder."

"We should ask her about it, both as allies and as friends," suggested Alfred.

Soon enough, Barbara arrived.

"How you holding up?" asked Tim.

"Awfully," said Barbara with cold anger.

"I lost my parents in a worse way," Bruce reminded her. "I know what you're going through."

"Not for long," said Barbara. "I know what Batgirl's gotta do: rub out the Mayor!"

"Absolutely not," declared Bruce.

"Don't say it won't solve anything," said Barbara. "It just might. The next guy might not agree with what he's done."

"You sound a gangster," said Tim.

"You know I'm right," said Batgirl.

"You know I won't let you do it," said Bruce forcefully.

"I was originally an independent crimefighter," Barbara returned Bruce's force with her own. "You can't stop me."

"Maybe, maybe not," admitted Bruce. "But if not, then in the law's eyes - and mine - you'll be no different from The Joker."

Barbara paused. "I don't want to fight the two of you."

"Then you can't do this, Barbara."

"Even after he ruined dad's life?"

"Do you think he wants you to ruin your own?"

"No." A tear rolled down Barbara's cheek. It no longer looked like she would go through with it, but Bruce sneaked a Bat-Tracer onto the Batcycle, just the same.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl was cycling through Gotham. She seethed, still upset about what had happened to her father and the bounty that was on her head and those of her allies. Batgirl knew that Bruce had been right to talk her out of killing. Given time to reconsider, she liked to think she would have, but she was not sure. A woman could only be pushed so hard.

Batgirl saw two hoods in black clothes and masks walking towards the 3rd National Bank of Gotham. _A little late to be entering the bank, especially with these clothes._

Batgirl waited. Sure enough, those same people came out with loaded bags, evidently with money burglarized from the vault. Batgirl charged at them and leapt at them with her fists outstretched, knocking them down.

"Uh-uh-uh," said Batgirl. "That's not yours."

"I thought you'd gone badder than us," said one of the burglars. _Shouldn't have said that. Touchy subject for me right now. _Batgirl assaulted them with her fists and feet. Soon enough they were moaning in agony on the ground.

Batgirl immediately realized that she had been too rough with them. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her neck. A tranquilizer dart had hit her through the gap in the back of her mask through which her long red hair could be seen. Then a heavy drowsiness rapidly flowed through her body. She spun around but now much weaker and clumsier, she fell on her back.

Batgirl pushed down on the ground to help rise into a sit. She saw a man with red hair and a beard holding a tranquilizer gun. He looked three inches taller and a few dozen pounds heavier than Batman. "Who are you?" asked Batgirl.

"Shane Fromm," said the man. "My enemies call me The Fox because I always sniff out the bounties. You're my target, beautiful."

"Not every girl catches a buff bounty hunter's eye," joked Batgirl. She had heard of The Fox. Supposedly, he was considered to be Gotham's second toughest guy and felt insulted by that stature. On more than one occasion, he had beaten Batman to an archcriminal. Now he had Batgirl where he wanted her.

"Listen," said Batgirl. "Me and my comrades only want to help the fight for justice. Falsootu's got us all wrong."

"Tell the jury that," said The Fox. "They'll actually care. I collect bounties. No more. No less."

He aimed his rifle at Batgirl's face. She covered herself in her protective cape in time to deflect the dart. "You're delaying the inevitable," said The Fox. You've got maybe an hour before you pass out. I'm patient."

He was right. But Batgirl had one trick that might save her. She used her free hand to put on a gas mask and started dropping smoke bombs. Upon realizing that Batgirl was covered in smoke, The Fox fired a dart. Fortunately, Batgirl had not uncovered herself with her cape.

With the smoke spreading, The Fox walked towards it. Batgirl threw a Batarang. She could still see well enough to make out the "shadowy" gun. Unfortunately, she was so drowsy that she completely missed.

"You can't win, beautiful," said The Fox, entering the smoke. He began swinging the handle of the tranquilizer rifle around. He almost hit her a few times, but by concentrating, Batgirl was able to get enough of her focus back to detect The Fox' movement by ear and slip away to the Batcycle. Bruce had been right to teach her how to use her non-visual senses.

Batgirl thought for just a minute about taking The Fox down. Wishful thinking; Batgirl was in no shape to fight. Her night was over.

By the time the Batcycle pulled into the Batcave, Batgirl felt absolutely awful!

"Greetings Madam Bat..." began Alfred before realizing that Batgirl was not well. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be... fine." It was hard for Batgirl to talk. "Some bounty hunter hit me with a tranquilizer dart in the back of the head."

"Master Bruce and I warned you that you should cut your hair short rather than have a vulnerable spot," Alfred reminded her.

"Shut... up," said Batgirl before passing out.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman's first drive to Gotham in the post-Gordon era was the longest. For a brief moment, the Batsignal turned on. Then it went off. It was either sabotage by a friendly officer or the realization that Batman would not answer.

The mugger Batman and Robin had dispatched was the third crime they had solved. Unfortunately, Batman did not get the same fulfillment in this that he used to. Not knowing that the city he vowed to protect had turned against him for no good reason.

After ascending on top of a skyscraper to get a better view of the city block, Batman and Robin began looking around for crimes.

"How does it feel?" A familiar black, female voice called. Batman turned around.

"Catwoman," shouted Robin.

"Quiet, Robin," cautioned Batman. "We're wanted, remember? We can't be seen by the police."

"I wanna talk about that," said The Catwoman. She was smiling with hands on hips, much to Batman's displeasure. "This is philosophical. Kids aren't allowed."

"Oh, no," said Robin. "You're not pushing me..."

"Get in the Batmobile," said Batman. "No buts. Get!" This went against his better judgment, but for some reason, he felt like talking to Catwoman about this. Robin took the grappling hook from his Batgrapple and used it to descend to the ground.

"Just us grownups," said Catwoman. "Being hunted down like an animal isn't fun, is it? Then again we kind of are animals. Sorry. Guess I shouldn't expect you to have a sense of humor right now. Not that you ever did."

"I feel betrayed," said Batman.

"You should," said Catwoman. "I can name at least two times you've not only solved a crime that the cops couldn't, but actually saved this mean town. How many times would you say you did?"

"I'd say at least half a dozen times," said Batman.

"And this is your reward," noted Catwoman. "You're more of a public enemy than me. I'm jealous."

"What are you getting at, Selina?" asked Batman.

"You know I lost my mother because she and my father couldn't afford to have me delivered properly. Dad was... well, I'll never know if the police were in the wrong. We were poor black people of the ghetto. Not privileged people. I may not know who you are, Batman, but I have a hunch you are privileged. Then you became too powerful. So the system turns on you."

"What do you want me to do?" Snapped Batman. "Become like you? A criminal? I can't do that."

"Of course not," said Catwoman. "I may be philosophical, but I don't think big. I just steal to survive. You do think big. So why don't you fight back against this system. I'll help."

"It's amazing how someone can be totally right yet still be wrong," said Batman. "I will never resort to attempting to wrongfully grab power. You can't clean up a mess by spraying ketchup and mustard all over it. You're probably disappointed in me. Get over it. I am what I am. And while I care enough about you to risk my life for you, I will never become corrupt for you."

Catwoman nodded but remained calm. "You won't have a choice."

"Oh?"

Catwoman moved in nose-to-nose with Batman, The Princess of Plunder's smile broadening even more. "You can't keep out of the cops' sight if you're gonna keep picking fights. Sooner or later, they're gonna catch you."

"Do you really expect that to scare me?" asked Batman.

"Of course not," said Catwoman. "That's not the point. I'll be there to bust you out. And you'll owe me. Not to mention whatever other life you have will be screwed! You won't have a choice."

"Or I can take you down right now and drop you in on the cops, forcing you to rehabilitate," threatened Batman, grabbing Catwoman by the wrists. This was difficult to do. Catwoman was right about one thing. The government of Gotham seemed decreasingly worth giving your heart for now to Batman. He feared he would not have his heart enough in this fight to prevail.

"Dumb shit," Catwoman spat on Batman's lips. "I'm much more of a friend to you than..." She stopped talking as searchlights enveloped them. They looked up to see three police helicopters above.

"Batman, Catwoman," called a cop over a megaphone, "You're under arrest. You have a right to remain silent."

"No, thanks," said Catwoman. She and Batman retreated. Batman sent a signal to the Batmobile Navicomputer through the remote in his belt.

"What are you doing?" asked Catwoman.

"Telling Robin to get out of here," said Batman.

"And not pick us up?" shouted Catwoman.

"He's a boy," said Batman. "And before you argue, you're faster than me. Why aren't you pulling ahead?"

"Don't tempt me," said Catwoman.

A few minutes of retreating from the choppers commenced. Batman and Catwoman were making no headway, but Batman finally noticed a construction site. "There," he pointed to it. They hopped onto one of the steel beams of the unfinished building and moved around the open-ended building. Soon enough, they seemed to have lost their pursuing aircraft.

"No wonder I like you," said Catwoman. "Nobody pulls off upsets quite like you." She leaned in as if to kiss.

"Save it," said Batman, pointing to several police cars driving to the construction site. "Now the chopper pilots can just pull back to keep us from escaping as they seek us out."

"Oh, no," said Catwoman faintly. "Can't hide forever, can't leave. What the Hell are we gonna do now?"

"Working on it," promised Batman. "As long as we don't reveal our weapons, they won't shoot."

Catwoman laughed, albeit quietly. "How can I tell you've never had to deal with the police before? This is what I meant by privilege. And, no, being chased by that crazy white journalist bitch doesn't count it. The cops know we've always had weapons before. That's enough for them to shoot us if we don't give up."

"Then whatever we come up with," realized Batman, "It's got to be soon."

"Face it," said Catwoman. "We're screwed." She wrapped her right arm around Batman's neck. "Guess we go to prison or the cemetery together."

"Let me concentrate," said Batman. Catwoman seemed disappointed, so Batman added, "You might be free to seduce me another night." He closed his eyes. This would take all his talents in ventriloquism.

"Alright, Catwoman, let's go," Batman, threw his voice several stories below his current location. The searchlights went to that story; all the cops on foot were climbing towards it.

"Up top," Batman lead an astonished Catwoman gradually to the highest point. "Hang on." Catwoman grabbed hold of Batman as he Batgrappled them to another building. After five minutes of running and jumping from rooftop to rooftop, they were in the clear.

"As much as I could do without the cold feet of a guy," grinned Catwoman, "Congrats! You got us out of one Hell of a jam! But I hope you now realize that they're not worth it."

"Sorry," said Batman. "As long as I have a choice, I don't think I can do that."

"You might not have a choice much longer," argued Catwoman. "If they even let you live. Bye, Batman. I hope this isn't the last time we see each other."

Batman looked away lest he give into temptation. Between his affections for Catwoman and his anger towards the Gotham City government, doing the right thing had never been so hard.

But that was being unfair to Catwoman. She had toughened him up when it came to the corruption in the city. Otherwise, he may be in jail or dead.

Batman had been negligent in dealing with this corruption. That ended now. But the battle against corruption began with the arrogant, power-hungry Mayor, Charles Falsootu. His authoritarianism and fear of all he could not control had betrayed the heroes of Gotham and destroyed a good man's career.

But if you shoot at a hero, you had better not miss! Falsootu had started a war in which there would be only one winner.


	2. The Riddler's Vendetta

**Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:**

The Mayor of Gotham City was not happy.

"You mean you had The Batman and Catwoman trapped on a construction site with three choppers and dozens of ground cops," said Falsootu over his phone, "And _they_ _still got away_?

"According to my men," newly promoted Commissioner Ronald Studge tried to explain on the other line, "They were faked out by ventriloquism."

"That's your excuse?" asked Falsootu angrily. "You knew they were two of the best-trained people on the planet! I want those officers told that I allow only two strikes, not three. This is not baseball. And for your sake, Commissioner, there had better not be another blown opportunity like this. Ask Gordon if anyone is irreplaceable."

"I'm sorry, your honor," said Studge.

"We'll see if you mean it," said Falsootu, hanging up. He could not believe this. True, Batman and Catwoman were elite talents, but the police were thoroughly outmaneuvered.

_No matter. Now that I've spooked them, they won't make that mistake again. Sooner or later, the Bat will fall flat!_

**Batman's perspective:**

The Batman and Robin were listening to a recording from a bug they had placed in a newly opened place of business. "Now we know we can make enough smelly ice to stay in this business for a long time. And we all owe it all to the fat bitch."

"You were right," said Robin.

"I knew the Traylors would test the waters now that we've fallen out of favor with the authorities," said Batman. "Time to show them otherwise." He picked up the Batmobile's phone and called The Batgirl.

"Don't tell me," said Batgirl. "They're selling drugs."

"Yes," confirmed Batman. "Let's go."

The Batmobile was driven to the district where the place of business in question, Sammy's Sweets, was. It was parked a good ways away from the small target building, since it had to be kept hidden, lest they be discovered by the GCPD.

Batman and Robin waited outside the part of Sammy's where the bug was, waiting for Batgirl. "Hope I wasn't too late, boys," said Batgirl upon arriving.

"Early enough," said Batman as blasted a hole that The Terrific Trio could run through. They saw three men packaging meth, presumably from out of town. Batman's fist and the boots of Batgirl and Robin each knocked one down.

"OK, you win," said one of the men. "We're workin' fer an overweight chick. Sounds like she's from the deep South."

"Are you crazy?" said the other. "You'll get us killed!"

"Too late," taunted Robin.

"Can the smack talk," said Batman uneasily. "We're fugitives. Anything we can't prove won't be trusted anymore."

"You'll tell the police what you told us, right?" asked Batgirl sternly.

The first man gulped but looked at the other two. They were shaking their heads.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about," said the first man.

"Coward," said Batgirl in frustration.

"Better than dead," said the man.

Soon enough the police had shut down the place. Batman, Batgirl, and Robin were a safe distance away.

"I can't believe their luck," said Batgirl, referring to the Traylor crime family. "We became wanted people just in time for that to save the rednecks."

"The Traylors' luck seems to be endless," agreed Batman. "There's a reason we haven't caught them yet."

"Bright side time," Robin tried to be the voice of optimism. "At least we stopped them from expanding their cartel."

"True," Batman realized. "Batgirl, take Robin on your Batcycle. "I'm paying the Traylors a visit. I'm going to show them that isn't a break."

**The Riddler's perspective:**

With a rope and blowtorch, The Riddler was able to get his old accomplices, the blonde-haired Query and Chinese Echo, out of Blackgate Prison. He was driving them to Gotham City.

"Thanks for coming for us," said Query.

"You know I had to," said Riddler. "You're my only true friends. Besides, the cops have turned on The Batman. It's not like it couldn't happen to a nicer guy, but sooner or later, they'll catch him. That can't happen. He's mine."

"Hold on," said Echo. "Every time we try to take him out, we end up in Blackgate, and you in Arkham."

"I'm no happier about that than you," The Riddler assured Echo. "We're playing for keeps this time. We are aiming to do nothing less than kill them!"

**Batman's perspective:**

Using his Batgrapple to enter the windowsill of the meeting room of the Traylors' restaurant and criminal headquarters, Country Buffet, Batman saw them discussing crime and business. Breaking through the window, Batman leapt onto the table.

Batman was drawing a Batarang when Al Traylor stopped his son, Joey, from drawing a pistol and said, "Don't boy. You'll just get your trigger finger itchy in the worst possible way."

"What brings you here this time, Little Bat?" asked Al's younger sister, Becky "The Hog" Traylor. The Hog was a two hundred fifty pound woman, most of it muscle, and the head of the Southern-born family that controlled the Gotham underworld.

"As I guess you know by know," said Batman for the record, "I've shut down your new drug venture. Don't think my... legal problems are an opportunity for you."

"What makes you think Ah thought it'd work?" asked The Hog.

"You shouldn't have," said Batman, remembering that The Hog's incredible strength was matched by her cleverness. "But why would you go through with it otherwise?"

The Hog leaned over the table and smiled. "Maybe 'cause Ah wanted the pleasure of your company, Little Bat?"

"What do you want?" asked Batman.

"After all you did for this city," The Hog turned this conversation in another direction, "It's turned on you. Ah hear you're becomin' less popular even with the critters outside."

"You're not the first to make that argument," said Batman. Catwoman had tried it as well. "The answer's no."

"Please, hear me out before you go," said The Hog. "Ah still have influence. With your help, Ah can... convince the Mayor that you're one of the good guys."

"Again, what do you want?" demanded Batman. He wanted this badly. Only problem was that he could not trust The Hog.

"What Ah always want from you," said The Hog, taking a deep breath, looking up, and running her hands over the sides of her head. "A chance. Ah know Ah ain't the most attractive or kind woman in the world. But despite that, you know you've got affections. You gotta listen to those affections. Bein' remembered as no better than me ain't how you wanna go out, is it? Besides, you'd be surprised how many guys who try to look past my weight end up bein' happy that they did."

"I believe that," admitted Batman. "And I'll do you one better: I wish I could believe that this was the answer. But it's not. And that's all you get."

As Batman walked towards the broken window, The Hog implored, "Offer's on the table." Batman was ashamed to admit to himself that it was hard to refuse. Having the city he loved turn against him was agony that intensified by the day. He feared that there would come a point where he could take it no more and would do anything, including appease The Hog's lust for him and for power, to regain the respect of Gotham City.

But that time had not come.

**The Hog's perspective:**

"He's hurt," realized The Hog. "He'll get in my lap soon enough."

"Ah got a better idea," said Al. "Ah'm havin' him trailed and blowin' the whistle on 'im. Ah say we take care of 'im once and for all!"

"Yeah," agreed Joey.

"I see no rational reason to disagree with this plan," said Yuji Takahan, the Asian lawyer and accountant of the family.

Daisy Thompson, The Hog's cousin and communications expert, added, "Ah hope nobody's expectin' me to disagree. Two and a half years of havin' Batman in our hair in enough."

"Ah appreciate your advise," The Hog told a kind lie, "But Ah'm the boss. Ah say he can be valuable to us and his anger at the city will boil until he finds my offer appealin'. Or gets caught. Either way, he ain't gonna be a problem for long."

"With all due respect," said Al, "Ah think that schoolgirl crush of yours is cloudin' your judgment."

"Yes," concurred Yuji. "If not for your feelings for him, he has less than an eight percent chance of still being alive today."

The Hog walked towards Al until she was in his face. Al shivered.

"Papa left me in command of this family," The Hog reminded him. "Do you think he was wrong?"

"N-no," said Al. "I'm sor-sorry. Yuji, let it go."

"Apology accepted," said The Hog. She stepped back and held out her hand. Al kissed it.

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

At lunch break the next day at work, Bruce checked the news on his phone. He had apparently been too preoccupied with The Hog to take notice of The Riddler's escape. Worse, it seemed that because the police no longer considered Batman a friend, Riddler had intimidated a few journalists.

That The Riddler would bully was a little surprising. His M.O. was not thuggery. Not that he was offended by it so much as he considered it to be amateurish. It looked as though he would be more careful and ruthless this time.

That evening, Bruce told Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon that their priority was The Riddler.

"First the Traylors, now The Riddler," said Tim. "Even though we don't have the GCPD on our side anymore. The more things change, the more they stay the same."

"Of course, the police won't stop looking for us just because The Riddler's loose," lamented Barbara. "We're gonna need eyes in the backs of our heads."

"Mm-hmm," agreed Bruce. "Either of you want out of this team, I won't think any less of you." Barbara and Tim said nothing. "Then to the Batcave!"

**Batman's perspective:**

The journalists intimidated by The Riddler had reported some riddles that they had been left with: "Where does the baseball player expect to be," "I'm a chair but my co-worker is not a table but a couch."

"It's obvious he's robbing a furniture place," said Batgirl.

"Doesn't narrow it down much," said Robin. "Isn't there such a place that starts with "Home?"

"No," said Batman. "That's what The Riddler wants us to think. A baseball player doesn't expect to make it to home plate because it's so hard to hit home runs. But doubles are common."

"Sorry to contradict my superior," argued Robin, "But there's no furniture or home improvement place in Gotham named after the number two."

"Not so fast," said Batgirl thoughtfully. "When Barbara Gordon had to buy some furniture because she... moved out of her father's house..." She stopped. Dredging up memories of a father whose illustrious career was unjustly ruined was difficult for her.

"Take your time," Batman allowed. Ordinarily, he was not the most sensitive person in the world, but knowing how hard this was on Batgirl, latitude was necessary.

"There's a place called 72nd Furnishing," Batgirl finally said. "Only one of these places with the number two... sort of."

"Only place that remotely fits," said Batman. "Let's ride."

They drove near 72nd Furnishing and crept into the place. Employees were strapping two chairs and a sofa onto The Riddler's car as Query and Echo held guns up to them. When they were finished, The Riddler said, "As thankful as I am, I'm afraid we'll still have to kill you."

"What?" screamed one of the employees.

"I know it's disgraceful," said Riddler. "It's just that I wanted to see The Batman tonight. You're examples of what happens when he gets the riddles wrong. Girls!"

Query and Echo cocked their pistols. _So much for the sneak attack._

"Riddler," yelled Batman. "Here I am!"

"Ah, your wits haven't dimmed after all, Batman," Riddler faced his foes. He drew his MAC-16 as Query and Echo pointed their guns at The Terrific Trio.

"Hold on, pretty boy," said Batgirl softly. "I can tell you didn't get enough love as a boy, but if you'd just turn your life around there's plenty of women in town who will give you the affection you need. Who knows? I might be one of them."

Batman was shocked to hear that. Batgirl was the last woman he could see being attracted to Riddler. He saw no indication that this unconventional strategy was working.

It was then that police sirens sounded. It seemed that the police had been waiting for Batman as well.

"I suppose you get to live a little longer," said The Riddler, throwing Batman a large envelope. "In the car, girls!"

Batman was not about to let them get away, but Batgirl got in front of him. "You're not actually chasing with the cops almost here, are you?"

"Out of my way, scum lover," said Batman.

"I'll tell you what a hypocrite you are later," said Batgirl. "If you haven't gotten yourself caught."

"She's right," said Robin. "It's suicide to not break this off. There'll be another day."

"Yes," Batman finally relented. "Another day." They returned to their vehicles and fled.

While getting away from the police was not easy, the Batmobile and Batcycle were not ordinary vehicles. Within minutes, The Terrific Trio had lost their pursuers. The Batmobile's phone was ringing, so Batman answered it.

"I think we're in the clear," said Batgirl. "Your Batnavicomputer got The Riddler?"

"He's blended into traffic," said Batman. "And I'm fairly sure he escaped the police himself."

Returning to the Batcave, Gotham's misunderstood heroes were unmasked for comfort. Batman asked Batgirl, "I knew your father should have been more restrictive about the men you date."

"Bruce Thomas Wayne," said Batgirl furiously, "I know - and don't deny it - that you have feelings for the almost literal Cat-burglar and hillbilly mob boss. So don't you criticize!"

Batman looked at Robin and then Alfred. They were shaking their heads at him. Batman put on a robe to cover up his Batsuit and stormed off towards the stairs.

"Master Bruce," Alfred tried to remind Batman. "You have to change to normal clothes."

"Tomorrow," said Batman.

**The Riddler's perspective:**

The Riddler looked at his rear view mirror. Batman and his friends were no longer in pursuit, but the GCPD was.

"Batman's looking out for himself," said The Riddler. "Who would've thought him this reasonable."

"Probably the kids," reasoned Echo.

"In any case, what drink does a lot of kids find cool but no adult find tasty?" asked The Riddler. He hit a button to open the trunk so Echo could dump a barrel of slime through it. The pursuing police cars slipped and slid.

Query quickly opened her window and stuck her head out of it. "Eat our dust, coppers!" Sure enough, the car was pulling away as the police drivers struggled to regain control of their vehicles.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Echo, "But thank God for the cops!"

"What?" asked The Riddler. He tried not to laugh. "We were about to kill them."

"Maybe, but probably not," said Query. "So many others have tried to do it with guns. _We've _tried. We need a better plan for that."

"You have a point," admitted Riddler thoughtfully. "Of course, I always have a plan."

**Detective Harvey Bullock's perspective:**

The next day, Detective Harvey Bullock and his partner, Renee Montoya, recently promoted to Detective herself, were investigating in an attempt to discover The Riddler's whereabouts. It was then that Bullock's phone sounded.

"Bullock, Montoya," said Lieutenant Freeman, "We've got another riddle. It's been leaked."

"I hate puzzles," groaned Bullock.

"Tough shit," said Freeman. "It's, 'I live in an orc's original home.' Best of luck."

"An orc's original home," said Bullock.

"Unlike you," smiled Montoya, "I enjoy a good crossword puzzle. This one's got me stumped."

"I think I got it," said Bullock proudly. "Saw a movie with bad guys called orcs years ago. I think they lived in caves."

"Not much to go on, is it?"

"_Original_ cave. Let's look up the first cave to be found in the greater Gotham area. Ain't nothin' else he could've meant."

Sure enough, they discovered that a cave southwest of Gotham was the first ever discovered there, but there was no one there except rats.

"Looks like he's lying his ass off," realized Montoya.

"Don't make no sense," said a bewildered Bullock. "He wants to prove he's smarter than us an' stump us. But you're right. The riddle leads here."

"Unless there's something we've missed," pondered Montoya.

**Bruce's perspective:**

Bruce, Barbara, and Tim were seeing the Riddler's latest riddle told by a local news show.

"I believe J.R.R. Tolkien's spooky creation lived in caves," said Bruce.

"Yeah, that fits with what little I've seen of them," realized Tim. Barbara nodded her head in agreement.

"Although," said Bruce cautiously, "He's not a very tough man. I doubt he could handle life in a cave. But that is what the riddle points to. Once you've eliminated the impossible..."

They were halfway down the Batcave's stairs when Barbara snapped her fingers. "No, boys. It's not a cave. He just wants us to think it's one."

"Then what could it be?" asked Tim.

"I read novels," said Barbara. "So I know what he meant by 'An orc's original home.' Tolkien's version of orcs was elves transformed into a different race. Elves, you see, live in forests."

Bruce lowered his eyebrows. "He's sharp. Very, very, sharp! Good work, soldier."

**Batman's perspective:**

Vehicles were unfit for forest travel; anywhere you went, there might have been a tree , log, branch, or large animal in the way. So The Terrific Trio disembarked at the forest entrance where the shortest path from Gotham would take you.

"Are you sure the easiest way is the right one?" asked Robin.

"If the Riddler was more specific of where in the forest he was," said Batman, "He'd have said so with a riddle. Besides, I read on that face of his that he doesn't just want to outsmart us this time. He wants us dead. Sorry, Batgirl."

"Don't worry," said Batgirl. "I've dealt with my share of bad boys. Robin, you'll understand when you're older."

Robin nodded and drew his Batgrapple, but Batman gripped him by the shooting wrist.

"No," commanded Batman. "He expects us to travel by treetops. Let's see if we can catch him by surprise."

The three vigilantes walked through the forest. There was no sign of The Riddler and his henchwomen. Twenty-three minutes into the search, Batman fell unconscious.

He felt a light slap. "That's right, Batman," said Batgirl. "Open those eyes." Batman did so in horror; he saw that he, Batgirl, and Robin had been relieved of their belts and were sinking into quicksand. Batman was already down to his knees in it.

"They knocked you out somehow," said Robin. "We tried to get you away. Only got ourselves surrounded trying."

"Tranquilizer, gas, or a hard hit?" Batman asked how he had been taken out.

"Query shot you," said The Riddler, standing on dry land. "But I'm glad to see your mask protected you. After all the fluke humiliations you've dealt me, I sure as Hell don't want you to die without grappling with the reality that I was always the better man. It's a long way down for you to be ashamed of yourself!"

"I don't think there's a sorer loser than you," said Robin.

"They're right, Eddie," said a snarky Echo, causing a silent Riddler growl.

"I'll bet you flying animals could get out of there with those," taunted Query, pointing to the belts that lay just past the quicksand. She, The Riddler, and Echo all laughed.

"What's your point?" muttered Batgirl.

"A better one than you'd think," whispered Batman. "Take off your capes and give them to me. And believe that we're not finished."

The young heroes did as they were told. Batman tied the ends of their capes together, took off his own cape, tied it to the end of Batgirl's, and tied some knots in them all to extend their length.

"Oh no, you don't," shouted The Riddler, jumping in front of the belts, and pointing a finger boastfully at Batman. "You're not getting them back. You're dead!"

"You first," said Batman as he swung the capes at Riddler to bind his outstretched arm and drag him into the quicksand.

With a flick of his wrist, Batman unbound the capes from a now-sinking Riddler's arm. Query and Echo seized Riddler by the green jacket and pulled him to safety. "No," shouted Riddler, "Get the belts away from him!"

But it was to late. Batman had lashed the capes at his belt and around it. Soon enough, he had his Batgrapple and fired it at a large tree branch.

The Riddler was saved, but instead of thanking Query and Echo, The Prince of Puzzles shouted, "Shoot them!"

Batman shouted, "Grab on," Batgirl and Robin each held an arm. Just before Batman would have been shot in the exposed lower face, he retracted the Batgrapple to pull himself and his friends to safety. They jumped off and rolled to soften the impact of the fall, then turned to face their enemies.

Panicked, The Riddler, Query, and Echo backed away, and ended up falling into the quicksand.

"What do we do?" asked a frightened Query and Echo. The Riddler said nothing.

"How the question mark has turned," grinned Robin.

"Sorry," said Batgirl. "I can forgive a lot from a man, but I draw the line at trying to kill me."

"Batman," pleaded The Riddler, "You wouldn't let us go all the way down, would you?"

"Don't think I didn't think about it," said Batman, firing his Batgrapple in between Riddler and Query's faces. They held on and were retracted to safety.

**Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:**

"I realize that the slime trap of The Riddler's caused car accidents that killed three good men," conceded Freeman as he followed Commissioner Studge to his office, "But how the Hell can the police position be to blame The Batman and not the people who actually did that?"

"Because," explained Studge, "He created The Riddler."

"Didn't he turn to crime because of his ego problem and inability to exist with his co-workers?" asked Freeman.

"What about all the other super criminals who've showed up since Batman made his presence known?" argued Studge. "No coincidence. But since you're determined to be his biggest apologist on the force, why don't you bet your badge that he'll catch The Riddler by the end of the week?"

"You're on," said Freeman, bravely. Studge was chuckling.

But when Studge opened his office door, he and Freeman could see an unconscious Riddler, Query, and Echo.

"I gave him too little credit," realized Freeman.

"Get out," said Studge.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you weren't very happy that we've got 'em."

"Out."

_There's just no pleasing some people._

**Bruce's perspective:**

Alfred had finished patching up Bruce's head wound. "That should take care of your latest injury, Master Bruce," said Alfred.

"Latest?" Bruce told a rare joke. "You mean this happens often?"

Tim laughed. "And I thought you had no sense of humor."

"And of all the times for it to come out," said Barbara.

Barbara was right. This was a dangerous and upsetting time. Heroes of Gotham now hunted by the police force of the very city they protected.

"I don't suppose I could ask you to take some time off?" Alfred asked his employer.

"That was not so funny," said Bruce.


	3. A Cat's Sharp Eyes

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

Although it could have been easy to allow being a wrongfully accused fugitive to get Barbara Gordon sidetracked, she had not lost sight of other priorities. She had badly wanted to catch The Catwoman for the last year and a half, ever since Catwoman had turned into a damsel in distress who needed police help to survive that encounter. True, Catwoman had done the occasional coincidental good deed, or that was Barbara's explanation. Bruce, with his soft spot for her, believed that Catwoman was not all bad.

"Tonight," said Bruce Wayne. "We've got a meeting with Detectives Bullock and Montoya."

"Sounds risky," cautioned Tim Drake.

"Having allies in the GCPD who will keep us informed is worth a risk," said Bruce. "But I promise, I'll look around for hidden cops in case this is a trap."

"'You?'" asked Barbara.

"The Batman will go alone," said Bruce. "The Batgirl and Robin will patrol. That way only one of us can be ambushed. I'll catch up later."

"Make sure to signal us if you need help," demanded Tim. "Not negotiable."

"I will," said Bruce. But Barbara felt that this was a fifty-fifty chance at best.

"There's another thing," Barbara brought it up before it was too late. "Catwoman sightings have multiplied lately."

"I heard," said Bruce. "It's someone else. The Catwoman isn't stupid. She knows she's getting no break just because the police are after us."

"She's not dumb," acknowledged Tim. "But what if she's cocky? What if she thinks since we've never managed to catch her, we'll never be able to catch her?"

"Or nothing will happen if we do?" asked Barbara. She immediately wondered if she had said too much.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Bruce, clearly not liking what Barbara had said. Barbara froze. Tim and Alfred Pennyworth looked afraid for her.

"The two of you will patrol Gotham as you wait for Batman to return from the meeting," ordered Bruce. "We'll follow the Catwoman sightings then."

_You won't put your all into catching her because you love her. I should've said that._

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman was alone this night. He was taking an awful chance in meeting with two detectives. But as Alfred had told him, he could not clear his name without taking risks. Of course, the fact that he had to take chances did not mean he had brought Robin or Batgirl along, despite their wishes.

"Won't this get you in trouble with your boss?" Batman asked Detectives Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya.

"I'm always in trouble," grinned Bullock. "Y'know how I bend the rules. So let Internal Affairs grill me again. I like you better 'n my current boss, so I don't give a shit!"

"I actually try to do things by the book," said Montoya. "But for you and all the things you've done for this city, I'll make an exception. On behalf of more cops than you might realize, I'm sorry you're a wanted man."

"Why would I blame the force for what one man is doing to us?" asked Batman. "I appreciate your support. Pass my thanks to Lieutenant Freeman."

"He's takin' what happened to Jim extra hard," said Bullock. "Can't blame 'im."

Batman nodded in agreement. "Any news?"

"Two-Face has broken free," said Montoya.

"I'll check into it," promised Batman.

"You ain't alone," promised Bullock.

True, but Batman had been close to alone ever since his parents were gunned down many years ago. Only Alfred shared that pain.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

"OK, Robin," said Batgirl. "We're going after Catwoman," said Batgirl.

"Batman said we're patrolling," said Robin.

"He never said we couldn't patrol for Catwoman," smiled Batgirl.

"I think he meant for common criminals," Robin tried again.

"Catwoman's a burglar, not a terrorist," Batgirl shot his attempt down. She immediately got on the Batcycle. "On. Right now."

Robin relented , getting on and holding onto Batgirl from behind. "Why can't this wait?"

"Because Batman won't catch her," said Batgirl. "He loves her. And why, I have no idea. We're gonna do what he should have years ago. If he wants to be her heartbroken parole officer, fine."

They hid the Batcycle in a shadowy area near the place of the most recent Catwoman sighting. They saw Catwoman sneaking into Diamonds For Her, a jewelry store. Batgirl and Robin followed in kind.

As they drew closer, Batgirl was a bit surprised that Catwoman had not noticed them. _She really is getting cocky. I'm gonna love humbling her!_

Batgirl tackled Catwoman, turned her onto her back, and held her wrists down. But while the Catwoman mask concealed some of the face, Batgirl could tell that the woman she had caught was not Selina Kyle.

"Batgirl..." began Robin nervously.

"I have eyes," said Batgirl. "What do you want with us?"

"Hurry, Damien," shouted the impostor.

A tear gas grenade went off behind Batgirl. Seconds later, she and Batgirl felt sick, coughing and streaming tears from their eyes.

The impostor had gotten a gas mask out of her costume and was exchanging "Thumbs up" signs with a white man, presumably the Damien she had asked for help.

"You should be on TV, Michelle," said Damien.

"And you're as punctual as ever," said Michelle. She now addressed Batgirl and Robin: "As you've probably guessed, we're undercover detectives. We knew The Batman's band of fascists couldn't resist a shot at the thief he couldn't catch. Pity he wasn't a part of this, but his night's coming! Now we've got legend-creating collars _and _a lot of reward money coming our way."

Batgirl seethed. Batman had been right. This had been too easy. Now she and Robin were too weak to escape or fight off the pair, Michelle and Damien.

"Since you've told them everything else, I get the Miranda rights," insisted Damien as he and Michelle cuffed Batgirl and Robin's arms. "You have a right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you at no cost to yourself."

Batgirl and Robin were dragged out of the store. Batgirl was distraught. She been entrusted with taking care of a boy and failed. Not to mention that she had no desire to be at the mercy of the man who had wrongfully ended her father's illustrious career.

Suddenly, Michelle and Damien fell down, screaming in pain. It was Caesarion, Catwoman's pet cougar.

Michelle and Damien drew their pistols, only for Catwoman to show herself by whipping the guns out of the detectives' hands. A few kicks knocked Damien out.

"Hello, backup," Michelle said to her communicator. "I request assistance. We've got... argh!" Catwoman raked her claws across Michelle's face. Catwoman then snatched and smashed the communicator against the ground before knocking Michelle out with a roundhouse kick.

Catwoman used her claws to pick the locks in Batgirl and Robin's handcuffs, freeing them. Robin was happy. Batgirl was not.

"Thanks," Robin expressed his gratitude. "How'd you know?"

"Not now," said Catwoman. "That bitch got a call off. We've got as little as five minutes. "We gotta clear the Hell out! Now!"

"What about the Batcycle?" asked Robin.

"I'm in no shape to drive it," said Batgirl. "It's in a safe place."

Catwoman helped Batgirl and Robin get a distance away. At one point she said, "How come I only got one 'Thank you?'" Batgirl did not answer.

On a rooftop another distance away, the four outlaws, two by choice, two unfairly so, watched the backup come to answer Michelle's call. After taking a moment to look around, they appeared to take the hurt detectives back to Headquarters.

Because they had injected themselves with antitoxin, Batgirl and Robin were well by this time. "I think you can get your bike and go now," said Catwoman.

"Thanks again," Robin gave her a military salute. "But how'd you know?"

"I was curious about who was impersonating me," said Catwoman. "Lucky for you. You Bat-People gotta be more careful now that you're wanted. But if it's any consolation, I don't even think Batman gets that."

"Spare me the pretend-concern," said a humiliated Batgirl. "What self-serving plan is this a part of? Or did you just want to drink in our humiliation?"

"Some gratitude," frowned Catwoman.

"What say we settle this now, just you and me?" asked Batgirl. "I win, I drop you in on the cops. You win, you can turn me in for the reward money."

"If you insist, child," said Catwoman. She hissed at Caesarion to get him to the edge of the roof.

"Robin, you stay out of this, too," ordered Batgirl. She stretched her back until it cracked. "I've been waiting for this for a long time, Catwoman!"

"I, for one, had hoped you'd get over your childish view of the world as a real adult," lamented Catwoman, "But - ah, there you are Batman."

_Oh, no. Not now. He's liable to ruin everything! _As Batgirl turned around, she said, "Don't. I'm..." No one there. "...Doing what you..."

Batgirl stopped talking as Catwoman's whip wrapped around her throat and dragged her to the ground. She gagged and tried to pull up, but Catwoman's boot on her end stopped that.

"I know what you're gonna say," Catwoman said to Robin. "Sorry, but she needs to be taught a lesson."

It took thirty seconds of struggling and choking before Batgirl regained the presence of mind to get a Batarang out of her belt. Catwoman dodged it but could not keep her whip from being severed. Trouble was that a lot of damage had been done.

Batgirl threw the broken whip off her and advanced towards Catwoman. Despite her weariness, Batgirl struck Catwoman with two jabs, but the right cross missed badly and a side kick knocked her over.

Batgirl was not surprised when Catwoman delivered three quick kicks to her face. It was like Catwoman to kick her when she was down. Perhaps to prove a point, Catwoman stepped over Batgirl to stand totally superior to her.

"Ready to give up?" asked Catwoman.

Once upon a time Batgirl would have nodded helplessly, but she had grown into a brave woman since then. "Go to Hell, Catwoman!"

"I might," Catwoman admitted. "But not before you," she lifted up her right boot for the knockout kick. Batgirl caught it just in time, then pulled and twisted it to wrestle Catwoman to the ground. Catwoman got up a little worse for wear, so Batgirl decked her again with a flying kick.

Batgirl was surprised herself. She was coming back after being choked to half-death! In her heart, she knew it could never last. Knowing Catwoman's mask would enable her to survive a Batgrapple in the forehead, Batgirl shot her with it. This stunned her long enough for the exposed line to be used to tie Catwoman up. Then Batgirl used her end of the line to swing Catwoman over the edge.

"You wouldn't dare," challenged Catwoman.

"I'm wouldn't be so sure about that," said Batgirl. "I've been through a lot," meaning her father's firing, and Batgirl and her friends becoming accused criminals.

But the distraction of this conversation was all Catwoman needed. She rocked back and forth to get enough momentum to swing back onto the building and pull Batgirl's Batgrapple away from her. Without Batgirl pulling on it, Catwoman got her restraints off and charged.

Batgirl was not fast enough to stop the kick from striking her. Then claws cut into her right cheek. Batgirl was pulled into a ducking position by the "ears" of her cowl and three knee strikes had her down. Five more kicks at an again-downed Batgirl further hurt her.

Turning Batgirl onto her back, Catwoman said, "Dead or alive. Which will it be, Bratgirl."

"Kill me, you bitch," shouted Batgirl, accepting her fate.

"Don't do it," said Robin.

"Do you actually plan to stop me?" asked Catwoman.

"No," sighed Robin. "But Batman will hate you forever."

"He can get in line," said Catwoman as she reached back to claw Batgirl's gizzard out.

"She does a lot of good," tried Robin. "And you hate society. So why give it what it wants."

"Good points," nodded Catwoman. "Plus, I don't think I can bring myself to make a kid cry. My heart's my greatest weakness. Parting thoughts, Robin, you're more of a grownup than Batgirl. Speaking of the devil, always fun kicking your ass, Bratgirl! C'mon, Caesarion."

"You OK, Batgirl?" asked Robin.

"Yeah," said Batgirl. She was hurt, mentally and physically. A number had been done on her, but she had also been humiliated. _If only I hadn't been taken by surprise, not once but twice!_

"You're welcome, by the way," said Robin. "Catty's right. You need to learn how to say, 'Thank you.'"

"Sorry," apologized Batgirl.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman was back to where the Batnavicomputer said the Batcycle was when suddenly, something hit the Batmobile, knocking it into the air and onto its side.

Batman immediately got out. He saw a man leaning out the window of a car with a bazooka. Batman ducked just in time to avoid another rocket which instead destroyed a sign a good distance behind Batman.

Batman threw a Batarang at one of the tires of the bazooka shooter's car. It turned on its side. Batman then fired his Bat Tracer Gun to put a tracer on that car.

Exerting his muscles, Batman turned the Batmobile upright and drove away. "We'll meet again, Gatman," he heard the shrill voice of The Ventriloquist's alternate personality, Scarface, threatening. _I see he still can't use "Bs" without moving his lips._

**Selina Kyle's perspective:**

The woman better known as Catwoman was home with her best friend, Sabisia Williams.

"So how'd it go?" asked Sabisia now that Selina was unsuited and safe.

"I ran into the self-righteous white girl," said Selina.

"How'd it go?" asked Sabisia.

"I kicked her ass again," Selina declared proudly. "Same shit, different night. She's barely even grown. Not that she's not a great martial artist for her age, but I'm smarter and have life experience. As much as I hate her, watching her realize that she's still not good enough always makes me happy."

"Good to know that you had fun," smiled Sabisia.

"I also ran into Robin," said Selina. "Odd. It seems to be a different kid as Batman's junior partner every year. This one's surprisingly mature for his age. He actually understands that there's worse people in town than me, unlike Bratgirl."

"What's next?" asked Sabisia.

"Cops are hunting Batman," said Selina Without the help of someone who actually knows how to escape them, it's only a matter of time before he gets caught. Time for more extreme measures."

"So what do we do?" asked Sabisia.

"What we probably should've done years ago," said Selina. "I just couldn't bring myself to act against him without provocation. We're gonna find out who he really is."

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman was unpleasantly surprised to see Batgirl roughed-up and with a bloody cheek. "What happened here?"

"Catwoman happened," explained Batgirl. "She saved us from the police so Robin thought we owed her. Didn't realize that she had a hidden agenda. I fought her alone and lost."

"Why did you go after her without me?" asked Batman.

Batgirl's mouth was dry.

"Well?" demanded Batman.

"Because you won't do what needs to be done," Batgirl finally blurted out.

"You shouldn't have said that," said Robin.

But Batman was understanding. No, he did not believe that Batgirl should have fought her alone, but he understood _why _Batgirl did it. Batman's judgment had indeed been questionable when it came to Catwoman.

"To the Batcave," said Batman to Batgirl. "Alfred will care for you."

"OK," said Batgirl, getting on the Batcycle and riding away.

"What about us?" asked Robin.

"We're on another case," said Batman. "Scarface and The Ventriloquist are on the loose again."

**Selina's perspective:**

Selina and Sabisia were looking up who Batman might be on a tablet.

"Wealthy white men in Gotham City?" asked Sabisia.

"Mm-hmm," said Selina. "You've seen his suit. It looks like a Hollywood costume. Everything else is just as shiny. And high-tech. He must be rich."

"That doesn't narrow it down that much," noted Sabisia. "Here in the Northeast, there are lots of rich people."

"Yeah, I know," agreed Selina. "But I just got the craziest idea."

"What idea?"

"Bruce Wayne. I know he's just a nepotist, but hear me out. He's bigger than most realize, even for a man. I happen to know that he's more hands-on than his playboy image would have you believe. And I've seen Batman close up. Wayne has his chin and cheeks."

Sabisia paused for a second, then asked skeptically, "Isn't he afraid of heights and the dark?"

"I told you it was the craziest idea," laughed Selina. Yet she and Sabisia found themselves renting and watching a documentary about Wayne from an online store that sold streaming movies.

**Scarface's perspective:**

"Where da Hell were you aimin', Denzel?" cried Scarface through The Ventriloquist's dummy.

"Ain't my fault he's fast an' has a tough car," said Denzel.

"You also couldn't dodge that sharp shit Gatman throws," Scarface argued.

"Weren't you drivin'?" asked Denzel.

"That was The Ventriloquist," corrected Scarface. "Rhino!"

The eight-foot man called Rhino grabbed Denzel's head from behind and twisted it to break the neck. The arm of The Ventriloquist operating Scarface rammed its head into Ventriloquist's.

"What was that for?" asked The Ventriloquist.

"Fer not dodgin'," said Scarface.

**Batman's perspective:**

It had been over a hour since the Batmobile had revved up.

"You're taking the long way around," noticed Robin. "Why?"

"Very perceptive," complimented Batman. "Good. It'll only be a year before you can drive the Batmobile and as Tim Drake, other vehicles. We're taking the long way around because it's not easy to get around now that the GCPD is looking for us. And thanks to Mayor Falsootu's new city budget, many police cars have FBI-quality debugging equipment so they might not show up on the Batnavicomputer. I have to make double sure that we've shaken any potential tails. Can't have them confiscating our ride."

"I'm not complaining," said Robin.

One car that did not have debugging equipment was that of Scarface and The Ventriloquist. Batman retrieved his Bat Tracer from that car once he and Robin had arrived.

"This is definitely the place," said Batman.

"Let's kick wood," said Robin.

_Why do all Robins have to make with the puns?_

Batman and Robin heard loud snoring. Following the sound led them to a bedroom. It was a sleeping Ventriloquist in bed. Batman and Robin slowly and silently made their ways toward the foot of the bed.

"Nice try, Gatman," taunted Scarface's voice from the dummy that lay next to Ventriloquist. Ventriloquist took a remote from under the covers to activate a trap door. Batman and Robin fell several meters down into an even darker place. Before Batman's launched Batgrapple could reach the open gap, the trap door had shut, sealing them in.

"It ain't bedtime at all, Ratman and Boy Blunder," mocked Scarface.

Loud creaking to Batman and Robin's sides could be heard. "I don't like the sound of that," worried Robin.

"Me neither," agreed Batman. "Nightvision lenses." Batman and Robin both activated their's. They could now see that the walls had spikes and were closing in on them.

"Oh, no," realized Batman.

"Oh, yeah," said Rhino, who had apparently been invited in to watch the fun.

"This is not very original," criticized Robin. "Spiked walls are played-out."

"Hey, I ain't Da Joker," said Scarface. "And I ain't a Hollywood writer. If it works, it works."

"Stop talking to him," Batman whispered to Robin so as to not be heard by the criminals. "We have time but not much."

"This isn't an old TV show from way before my time," whispered Robin. "The spikes aren't too close apart and the walls aren't being pushed very hard. "I think we can hold them apart long enough for them to run out of gas."

"Not that easy," said a doubtful Batman quietly. "I've noticed the air is a lot thinner here. Even if the spikes don't kill us, we can't afford to be here too long."

"What we do?" cried Robin.

"Die," cackled Scarface.

"Don't lose heart," whispered Batman. "We're not dead until we're dead. "I've got an idea. I'll cut off a spike. We then climb up a wall. When it gets to trap door, I'll pry it open. Then quickly take cover under The Ventriloquist's bed; Scarface and his goons are sure to have guns."

"Won't the walls be about ready to close together?"

"I'm afraid so. All the more reason to be quick."

Batman started banging a Batarang against a spike, weakening the spot he was hitting.

"What are doing?" asked The Ventriloquist with wonder and caution.

"Who cares?" asked Scarface. "They ain't got no way out, pussy!"

Batman had taken off the spike. He and Robin climbed up, using the other spikes as steps. Once the trap door was in reach, Batman used the spike to pry it open. Two of Scarface's henchmen were on the other side of the trap door, so Robin grabbed them by the ties and threw them down to the bottom.

Batman was distressed by the fact that two men's lives were in danger, but he had his own problem of Scarface aiming a dummy-sized gun at him. Batman clipped off the dummy arm. Scarface screamed in imagined pain as The Ventriloquist backed away. Batman and Robin now got out of the hidden basement.

"Turn off the spikes," commanded Scarface. "Gatman an' Robin are out an' Mugsy 'n Joshua'er in, dumbass!" Batman sighed in relief as The Ventriloquist used his remote to turn off the spikes.

"Rhino," said Scarface, "Sic 'em!"

"Oh, I'm sick, alright," grinned Rhino.

"Under the bed now," ordered Batman. Without much room to move, he did not like his chances against an eight-foot man. So Batman and Robin got under the bed. Batman lowered his voice to a whisper. "Wait till he tries to get under the bed. We'll use it as a weapon from both sides."

"Don't worry, blind Bat and pretty birdie," said Rhino in mock sweetness as he started crawling under the bed with difficulty because of his size. "I ain't gonna hurt you more than a car crash."

"Now," shouted Batman. He and Robin got out from under the bed on opposite sides and picked up the bed together. They used it to club Rhino over the head with it several times, knocking him out.

"How lucky can you get, Gatman?" thundered a frustrated Scarface.

"I told you they were up to something, Scarface," said The Ventriloquist. The dummy headbutted Arnold Wesker, knocking both his Scarface and Ventriloquist personalities out.

"All's well that ends well," said a cheery Robin.

"Not so fast," Batman ran to the trap door. Scarface's men were safe. "We'll discuss this later."

Sure enough, the discussion in the Batcave landed Robin in trouble.

"It was a bad move, plain and simple," said an angry Batman. "What you did could have killed them."

"I did it to save us," said Robin.

"Not good enough," said Batman. "If I only cared about myself, I wouldn't be wearing this suit. Or do you think I do it to look cool?"

"With all due respect, Master Bruce," Alfred defended Robin. "They were trying to kill you."

"And I would rather die than sink to their level," declared Batman. "Or even potentially sink to their level."

"Without denying that I screwed up tonight, myself," Batgirl chimed in, "I have to agree with Batman. Dad always told me that there was nothing he was more proud of than never receiving a single citizens' complaint. Robin, being a hero isn't just about rounding up bad guys and catching good guys as they fall. It's about being responsible. And it doesn't sound like you were tonight."

"I'm sorry," Robin finally admitted his mistake.

"I hope you both learned something," Batman now addressed both of his young allies. "Do you understand that this is too dangerous a time for amateur hour?"

Batgirl and Robin nodded.

"Then go." They did. Batman felt as bad as they had. He could not believe he had not taught them better.

"Don't take it so hard, Master Bruce," said Alfred. "I do believe they realize that they did wrong tonight."

"The first step," acknowledged Batman. "Maybe I did do something right with them."

"This is not the norm," said Alfred. "They are heroes as surely as you, Sir. You did a lot of things right!"

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

During Bruce's first coffee break in his office the next day, Wayne Enterprises vice president Lucius Fox asked, "We've been neutral in the accusations against The Batman," said Lucius. "But you know the press, police, politicians, even our more vocal customers keep asking us. Perhaps we should take a stand."

Bruce spit out some coffee in surprise. This was very awkward. Still, Lucius was right. It was time to answer the question.

Bruce felt that he should avoid suspicions at all cost. Now more than ever! The company would talk against Batman.

"I think that if The Batman were innocent, he wouldn't run," said Bruce.

"Oh," said Lucius. He seemed disappointed. "I'll carry out your..."

Lucius was interrupted by knocking on the door and opened it.

It was Selina Kyle, The Catwoman, although Batman had never proved this. Bruce's first instinct was to question her harshly in an attempt to intimidate her into admitting that she was the true identity of Catwoman.

"I know who you are," said Lucius with his arms folded. "Unless you have important business here, I think you should go."

And Batman would agree with that. But not Bruce. Bruce was a flirting playboy with little sense of reality, or so most felt. Bruce had to tolerate and even court this beautiful, dangerous woman.

"Nonsense," Bruce pretended to be cheerful. "Ms. Kyle has been found guilty of nothing. She's as welcome as any other citizen."

"Watch your back," warned Lucius.

"Don't you have work to do?" asked Bruce. Lucius reluctantly walked out of the room.

"How can I help you?" asked Bruce.

"I want to thank you," said Selina. "I lost my parents as a child and was homeless for several years. If you weren't such a generous donor..."

"Did my charity money go to you?" asked Bruce. "Despite your name recognition, this is the first I've heard of it."

"Not surprising," said Selina. "You make so many donations. You can't possibly keep up with them all. But I still felt I had to tell you. Thanks."

Bruce paused. There was no way to know if what Selina was saying was true. Bruce's gut told him this was the plan.

"How about we discuss this over lunch?" Bruce hoped dearly Selina would refuse. The only reason he asked was because it would be out of character not to. He had chosen the lesser of two evils.

"I'd love to," smiled Selina.

Fortunately, the meal turned out to be a typical date. Bruce and Selina ate, discussed their past, and laughed. Better yet, Selina went home without asking for another date. Maybe Bruce had dodged a bullet. But then, Batman dodged enough.

**Selina's perspective:**

Selina returned to her apartment with a smile on her face.

"Have a good time?" asked Sabisia.

"Mm-hmm," hummed Selina. "It was like walking on air. He's a good guy. A rare thing these days. And best of all, I confirmed it. It's _him_."

"Are you one hundred percent sure?" Sabisia asked pointedly.

"One thousand percent sure," said Selina. "An accomplished thief and martial artist sees details, and I'm both. Wayne has Batman's face, his eyes, he walks like him, and his clumsiness is an act."

"There's one thing that doesn't seem right," Sabisia offered her last doubts. "Why the Hell would a rich white guy do this? I know he lost his parents and that got to him, but isn't he over that?"

"Maybe he was only pretending," suggested Selina. "Doesn't matter. I've seen too many similarities. Care to show me any other big, rich, white dudes who look and walk like Batman?"

"No," Sabisia gave up. "So now that Catwoman knows who Batman is, what's she gonna do?"

"That's the $200,000 question," sighed Selina. "I can easily meet Batman now that I know who he is, but he's turned me down over and over. Logically, I should turn him in for the reward, but I really don't want that. I need time."

"Don't be too long," said Sabisia. "The cops are liable to render all this moot."

Selina nodded.


	4. Gordons in Peril

**Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:**

Lieutenant Freeman was glad to be on a mission that wasn't about going after The Batman. No wall had been able to hold The Joker so far, so Freeman felt it wise to try to convince him to make an effort to rehabilitate.

Freeman entered Joker's cell. "Close it," he said to the guard outside.

The guard stood still.

"I said shut the door," insisted Freeman. "I need to earn his respect. I'll be fine. I grew up in the ghetto and am a fifteen-year cop besides. I know how to deal with scum like him." The door was closed.

Freeman walked over to The Joker, who was sitting in front of a television set. Would you say "no" to a psychotic serial killer who was able to get his hands on lethal weapons, no matter what? Neither would the administrators, so he had gotten a TV and spent a minimum of time out of his cell as a result.

"We need to talk," said Freeman. _No answer from laughing boy. OK. I like a challenge. _"Ain't you tired of this shit?" asked Freeman. "The cycle of terrorizing and being chased?" _Nothing yet._

"It won't work," threatened Freeman. "One day The Batman's gonna lose his patience and do you. So why don't you..." _Oh, my God! It ain't him. This is a dummy._

"Open up," Freeman shouted at the door.

The guard opened the door. "You OK, Lieutenant?"

"Never mind that," said Freeman. "He's planted a dummy, but - I see a liar's look on you. What do you know?"

"N-nothing," the guard assured him.

"Not easy to trick an ex-Detective," boasted Freeman. "Come clean. It's a felony to lie to an officer of the law, especially one with seniority."

"I-I let him and his nutty girlfriend out," said the guard. "Told me my wife and daughter would be his first targets next time he gets out otherwise."

"How long?" asked Freeman.

"A week and a half."

Freeman was surprised. "How could anyone keep it up that long?"

"They refused to leave their cells," explained the guard. "I... I pretended to feed them."

Freeman frowned. "You better cooperate. Understand?"

"What's gonna happen to me?"

"Nothing you didn't bring on yourself."

**Harley Quinn's perspective:**

Harley and The Joker were together again. Despite being deserted in her hour of need and cheated on by The Joker, despite repaying him with a brutal beating and personal vow that it was over between them, it had not lasted. One day, without an apology or even any consciousness that he had done anything to Harley, The Joker sat next to her on a couch in a rec room and put an arm around her. Both Harley's instincts and her best friend, Poison Ivy, warned her to push the mad clown away. Instead, Harley's dependent personality disorder overpowered her common sense and they were together again. Weeks later, they had escaped Arkham together and were pulling off jobs again.

Harley felt happy beyond words. Though others may have said that she could feel the same joy with a better man without the mistreatment or guilt Harley currently had to take, she could not believe it. _Mistah "J's" the man for me. Always has been. Always will be._

"OK, Harl," said The Joker. "We've been picking on the the Kindergarten policemen and cashiers long enough. It's time to take out the big kids once and for all!"

"B-Batman," Harley shivered.

"No, it's Jonah Hill," said Joker sarcastically.

"Great," said Harley, wanting to believe that they were not going after The Batman. "I'll look up Jonah's address."

The Joker belted Harley in the stomach. "Play with me all you want, young love. But remember, I don't want cowards. You know what I do to employees who can't measure up." Joker touched his acid-squirting suit flower.

"S-sorry," Harley threw up her hands. "There ain't a lot of people I'm scared of. But I think we'll get caught if we go after 'B'-Man. We always do."

A spray of acid lopped off Harley's right pigtail. "The next time, I 'clean' up that beautiful but dirty face of yours. Bats is now wanted by the law. I can't resist this irony. Even if he catches me, I'll have rubbed his situation into him. That's our goal."

Harley gulped. _Gotta be really, really careful! He's gonna kill me if I show any more fear of Batman. Maybe I should talk to the real man that I know is in this crazy monster._

Getting on all fours, Harley crawled sexily towards The Joker before using his purple suit to pull herself to him. "Wouldn't you rather be free?" Harley jumped into her lover's arms. "I know I'd love a few months in Hawaii with you." She sensed The Joker getting second thoughts as she leaned in.

Suddenly, Harley was headbutted and he dropped her. "You aren't paid to want anything. I never forgot your assault. You want me? Earn me!"

"I'm sorry," pleaded Harley.

"I do believe we can test whether you mean it or not," said Joker.

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

"Batgirl can't be solo anymore?" asked Barbara.

"Only until she gets back on track," said Bruce Wayne.

"But why?" demanded Barbara.

"You nearly decided to kill Mayor Falsootu," said Bruce, pointing his right index finger upwards. "You came so close to being captured by a bounty hunter because you were slow to come to grips with the fact that we're wanted." A middle finger came up. "And you allowed both your hatred of Falsootu and The Catwoman to put you at her mercy. You'd be dead or in prison by now, if Tim hadn't talked her out of either." A ring finger rose to signify the third strike.

"OK," said Barbara. "I get the picture."

"I doubt it," said a skeptical Bruce. "Tim, keep an eye on her. Don't let her do anything rash."

"Just rub it in," Barbara whispered to herself.

"I heard that," said Bruce. "Don't make me suspend you."

"I hardly think I deserve to be treated like a teenager," Barbara pleaded her case. "No offense, Tim."

"None taken, believe me," said Tim Drake.

"If you want to treated as a woman," demanded Bruce, "Don't act like a girl."

"OK," Tim rose to Barbara's defense, "I don't think you have to be this hard on her."

"Yes, I do," Bruce explained himself. "I don't want to lose either of you the way I lost Jason Todd. Believe me, I don't love being tough; I'm tough because I love."

"While I tend to agree with you children," Alfred finally entered this conversation, "The Master's heart is in the right place. Please believe that."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Gotham Park. A place of great beauty and danger. Batgirl and Robin noticed that a family of three had foolishly chosen to brave the danger at night.

Two men in jean clothing, open finger gloves and holding hooked chains approached the three.

"Now, that's a little piece of ass," said one thug, eyeing the thirteen-year-old daughter.

"Leave her alone," shouted the mother.

"Pay up," demanded the other punk. "One way or another."

"We can't wait any longer," whispered Batgirl to Robin.

"Like beating on people smaller than you?" shouted Robin to the punks. "We're smaller."

The punks charged Batgirl and Robin with their chains. Batgirl dodged one of the chains twice before catching it in her hands. A kick to the shins took her opponent off balance enough to swing him into a tree by the chain, head-first. A kick to the head and he was out.

Robin dodged the chain of the other thug and kicked him in the groin. He jumped and sat on the thug's shoulders and rained many punches on his skull, knocking him out.

"Get out of the park - now," Batgirl shouted at the family.

"Wow," said the girl. "Batgirl. The toughest lady this side of Wonder Woman's even cooler than I thought. Never thought I'd get to meet you. And Robin... you are too cute. Doing anything on Saturday?"

"Stay away from them," said the mother. "These are members of a gang no different than the creeps they just took out. Peter, we better run!" Peter seemed to be the father.

_They think we're killers and are about to run away. Could be worse._

"No, Peggy," said Peter. He walked towards Batgirl and Robin. "I'm man enough to admit that there's some girls and children I can't take, let alone both of you. But I'm also

man enough to take one for the wife and child. Do your worst, maniacs!"

"We don't mean you any harm," said Batgirl.

"Don't lie," said Peter. "You can have your fun with me but not my cooperation in whatever scheme you want to use me in."

"Look," said Robin. "We're only trying to help."

As Robin vainly attempted to persuade Peter that he and Batgirl were not enemies, Batgirl had caught a glimpse of Peggy whispering on her phone. The ventriloquism Batman

had taught Batgirl enabled her to make it out: "...Right here. They're gonna kill my hus-oh shit, they caught me! Hurry!"

Grabbing Robin by the arm, Batgirl dragged him on a dash away. "They're calling the police," said Batgirl. "We're outta here!"

After a few minutes, they neared a park exit, only to see a police car driving up, "Wrong exit," cried Batgirl, dragging Robin back the other way.

But after a bit more running, the sounds of more cars pulling up could be heard. _We might be in a bit of trouble._

Sure enough, the sounds of more police cars driving to various sections of the park could be heard.

"There they are," shouted Peter from far behind Batgirl and Robin and pointing at them, "When you meet The Devil, tell him the Georgettes sent you!" Batgirl turned to see Peter and his family.

"Officers, this is all a big mistake," pleaded Sharon. "They saved our..." Peggy placed a hand over her mouth.

"Toy store?" asked Peter.

"Yeah," agreed Peggy. They pulled their daughter away as she continued to try to explain this to the police but went unheard.

"Forget them," said Batgirl. "We've got bigger problems. Cops have this place surrounded. They'll probably get the SWAT team in here soon. We've gotta go deeper into the

park."

"Why not try to get past them before any more show up?" asked Robin.

"Because we're considered armed and dangerous," explained Batgirl. "And we've been accused of trying to kill an innocent family. They'd shoot us dead before we got out of the woods! Come on!" She lead Robin deeper into the forest.

_No police. It's an illusion, girlfriend. They've cut off our escape routes and will soon have enough guys to smoke us out._

It was then that Batgirl got a sense that she was unusually emotional. She checked her pulse. Fast and hot. Bruce had been right. She had let her father's forced retirement by the actions of Falsootu get to her. She had to calm down, and she had to do this quicker than Bruce had meant for her to. Batgirl and Robin were in a tight spot. There was no room for mistakes.

**James Gordon's perspective:**

The former police commissioner was drowning his sorrows in booze as he watched the Gotham Swashbucklers, the local basketball team at Pete's, a nearby bar.

"Why aren't you havin' fun watchin' the Swashbucklers and gettin' smashed, Jim?" asked Pete.

"Ever since I lost my job and wasn't able to stop Falsootu from persecuting The Batman, nothing feels or tastes the same," lamented James.

Suddenly, The Joker and Harley Quinn barged in with submachine guns, firing upon the crowd in the bar. Some ran out. Others were injured or killed.

"I've killed my audience," proclaimed The Joker, laughing hard. "Hey, Jimbo, remember me?"

"I remember the man who kidnapped my children all too well," James looked hard at Joker and Harley.

"Then you should be glad it's only you we're takin'," said Harley.

"Overjoyed," said James halfheartedly, raising his arms in surrender.

"Pete," shouted The Joker. "We left you alive for a reason. Don't tell anybody about this but Batman. He'll confront you about this. Tell him we're taking Gordon for a magical night on the town. That exactly, you hear? We don't want to take up any more of your time." The Joker began laughing as he and Harley took James away.

**Batman's perspective:**

The official story was that a mass shooting had happened at Pete's. Batman thought it odd that nothing much had been said by the bartender. After that bartender had answered all the police questions and headed home, Batman, having already looked up his address, decided to drop in on him.

Batman was waiting on the inside. Pete opened the door and gasped.

"I don't know if you believe what has been said about me," said Batman threateningly, "And I don't care. Why haven't you told the whole story about what happened at your bar?"

"I'll t-tell it to you," said a frightened Pete. "Only you. I was threatened by The Joker. Said he and Gordon are goin' on a magic night on the town."

_Of course! He wants to draw me out._

"Is that all he told you?" asked Batman.

The bartender nodded.

Batman got back on his Batcycle (since he was solo, he used the vehicle meant for solo travel) and drove away. One question was obvious. Why had The Joker not told Pete anything? You could not very well lead a man to his death without him going to that death.

Perhaps he was stealing a page from The Riddler. "Magic night." There was a place called Magical Nightspot, a local nightclub. Batman did some checking. He had to do this as he drove. This slowed down the work, but he could not afford to stand still with the police looking for him.

Batman discovered that Magical Nightspot had been closed "Until further notice." This looked like the spot. Batman picked up the Batcycle's phone to call the Batmobile. No answer. "Batgirl, answer! Batgirl, pick up!"

Batman realized that the only explanation was that Batgirl and Robin were in trouble. They needed help. But so did James Gordon. The former commissioner was an old man who, for all Batman knew, no longer even trained. And he was in the clutches of two psychopaths. If Batman did not arrive soon, James would surely be killed.

There really was only one choice. Batman had to help James and hope that Batgirl had listened to him well enough to get herself and Robin out of whatever jam they were in.

_Please, Batgirl, Robin, stay alive!_

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Three searchlights were turned on and moving across Gotham Park. Batgirl and Robin were hiding in a tree. By now, fifty-four cops were in the area.

"I don't think they'll ever give up," said Robin. Batgirl could tell he was afraid. She had to lift his spirits.

"We can't either," Batgirl tried to encourage Robin. "There has to be a way."

Suddenly, the light moved to Batgirl and Robin. Robin was shocked into falling off the branch. Batgirl managed to catch him by the left arm and pull him back up.

"Take deep breaths," said Batgirl. "They don't have us yet."

"Batgirl, Robin," shouted a voice through a megaphone, "This is Ronald Studge, Commissioner of police. You're under arrest. Either of you who resists will be shot. Come out of the park with your hands up. I promise you a fair trial."

"Fair?" asked Robin to Batgirl. "From his and the jerk he takes orders from's history, their idea of fair is baseball without letting us use bats."

Batgirl nodded. "We break for it on my word."

"We have sniper rifles trained on you. They shoot on three. 1... 2..."

"Now," said Batgirl. They both used the tree to slide down, then raced away. Several shots were fired.

"Aw," Robin shrieked. "Don't worry about me. Just a scratch."

In time, the shooting stopped. "Stop," ordered Batgirl as she checked. It looked like they had lost the snipers. "Let me take a look at where they hurt you, Robin."

Robin showed her his wounded neck. Batgirl bandaged it. "You're OK."

"No," said Robin. "I don't think either of us is outliving the night."

"That's what they want you to think," said Batgirl. "We've gotten out of tight spots before."

"Yeah," said Robin. "But Batman always came up with a brilliant plan when things got really, really bad! Just like they are now."

"I've pulled him out of a couple myself," Batgirl kept trying to cheer Robin up. "We've just gotta believe."

**Batman's perspective:**

_No one at Magical Nightspot. Not even a car._

Batman saw an open window. That looked too easy. He entered through the door instead.

There were many statues of The Joker. Laughter could be heard from them all. Batman had a bad feeling and covered himself in his protective cape. Sure enough, bullets fired from the statue fingers onto the cape. Eventually, the fingers ran out of bullets.

"We've got sculptured physiques, don't we?" called The Joker from upstairs.

"Where's Gordon?" asked Batman.

"What's it to you?" asked Harley, also from upstairs. "He ain't even the Commissioner no more."

"If you have to ask," Batman pointed out, "You'll never know."

"You'll find him upstairs," said The Joker. "Hurry or you might find him dead. I'd really love to see that." And then came the chuckles by twisted boy and twisted girl.

Batman came up the stairs carefully. As he suspected, there was a surprise at the top. A slate of spikes, no doubt set to drop on him. So Batman threw a Batarang underneath the slate, and it dropped onto the Batarang.

"Well-played, Bats," declared The Joker. Batman stepped onto the slate. "But not quite well enough." With that, the sound of numerous blowguns shooting smilex-laced darts could be heard. Summoning all of his athletic ability, Batman managed to somersault backwards, avoiding the fatal darts!

But as he was acting on instinct, Batman landed on the edge of a stair. He could not stay on balance and tumbled down the stairs.

Batman's peak conditioning and body armor had prevented injury, though a good night's sleep would be in order. His first instinct was to stand, but hearing the girlish

laughter of Harley Quinn changed his mind. He decided to play dead.

"Aw, out cold," complained Harley. "I wanted ta make ya laugh with a side-splitter like Puddin' did last time. How 'bout a skull-splitter instead?" By now, Batman sensed that

Harley was standing over him. _I can't wait any longer._

Batman opened his eyes just in time to see Harley lifting up her baseball bat. Batman caught it between his hands and kneed Harley off.

Surprised, Harley got up and held up her arms. "OK, ya got me. But there's always puddin'."

"Where is he?" asked Batman. He knew that there were probably other traps.

"I ain't never betrayin' my beloved Joker," vowed Harley. Batman clenched his fists. "You wouldn't hit a lady who ain't even fightin' back, wudja?" asked Harley.

"No," said Batman, knocking Harley down with a side kick to the abs.

"You ain't gettin' nothin' outta me," grinned Harley. "You ain't got the guts to kill nobody. Mistah 'J' told me."

"You'd be amazed by what you can live through," declared Batman, seizing Harley's right ankle and stepping over it. "Want to be a disabled gymnast?" He began wrenching the leg around. Harley grunted in pain.

"Puddin', help! Puddin!"

Eventually, the knee made crunching sounds as it neared the breaking point.

"You win," panted Harley. "Puddin's upstairs. Right turn. Third door to the right. Tell 'im I'm so sorry."

Batman said nothing. He Batcuffed Harley to the stair rail.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

It had been well over an hour since the GCPD had trapped Batgirl and Robin in Gotham Park.

"It's definitely past my own bedtime," said Robin.

"At least you don't have a day job," Batgirl pointed out that she was going to get even less sleep. Unless, of course, they were arrested.

"Maybe we should make up an excuse while we spend the whole night in here," said Robin.

"If you're thinking of waiting them out," said Batgirl, "Forget it. They've kept people trapped for days before. And this isn't much a forest. We've got nothing to eat. By noon, we'll be starving."

"How are we gonna get out?" asked Robin. He was looking at Batgirl, the adult responsible for him this night.

"I'm working on it," Batgirl reassured him. _Don't work on it. Come up with something. Come on, girl! You're a straight 'A' computer genius._

"I might have a way out," said Batgirl.

Robin was flabbergasted. "Might?"

"Don't panic," directed Batgirl. "We have to be calm about this." She realized that this was advice she should have been heeding for weeks, but better late than never.

After Robin had calmed down, Batgirl said, "Here's my idea. I've noticed some short or female members of the SWAT Team fanning out for us."

"We disguise ourselves?" asked Robin.

"Yeah," Batgirl nodded. "Just be careful about it. These aren't common thugs who don't know how to do anything but steal and verbally bully. SWATs are well-trained even for cops. Understand?"

Robin nodded.

They sneaked up on two SWATs, one of which was female. Batgirl and Robin tripped the SWATs down and rammed their heads repeatedly into the ground to dispatch them.

Now they had Batgirl's disguise. Time for Robin's.

They sneaked around a bit to find a shorter SWAT with a normal-sized one. They ambushed the two, knocking away the guns, but were thrown off. Batgirl Bataranged away the transceiver the SWAT carried, picked it up, and soon had the misunderstood crimefighters attacking each other.

Robin dodged his short target's punches for awhile until he began to tire. Kick, kick, spinning elbow. The SWAT was unconscious.

The other SWAT actually landed a punch that decked Batgirl. He began choking her, but Batgirl got her right knee under his groin and thrust up. As her opponent staggered back in pain, Batgirl got up and delivered two snap kicks to the face and a roundhouse kick. The SWAT was out.

The unconscious body and his assault rifle were taken back to the original two SWATS that Batgirl and Robin had taken out. The uniforms of the woman and short man were taken and put on over their outfits, though the masks were left behind. There were other masks at the Batcave.

"Brilliant plan," said a cheerful Robin.

Batgirl saw that Robin may have gone from hopeless to overconfident. "Don't get cocky, young man. We have to be careful going out. We'll have to check out with the cops. I'll do the talking. We may have the SWAT Team's ski masks, but don't give them a good look at your face. And try not to look like you're not letting them get a good look at your face. Am I hot?"

"T-the other boys at school think so," said a nervous Robin.

"That's what I'm afraid of," said Batgirl. "Let's go before we get spotted near these bodies."

They walked to the nearest entrance, at one point having to salute two members of the SWAT team as they passed by. Eventually, they arrived.

"So are they dead then?" asked Commissioner Studge.

"No," the disguised Batgirl tried to harden her voice to sound like a trained policewoman. "But we have reason to believe that they may have escaped."

"Impossible," said a detective.

"Everything's possible," said Studge.

"We want a police car just in case they find and take their Bat-whatever," said Batgirl. It was fortunate that she just barely remembered that as an officer, she was not supposed to know which vehicle Batgirl and Robin had used.

"That one," said Studge, pointing to a car. "Officer Louis, give them your keys."

"Right here," said Louis. "Good luck."

Batgirl and Robin were on the road. "Now can I call you a genius?" asked Robin.

"No," declined Batgirl. "Somehow, this is too easy."

Seconds later, a tire had gone flat. "I knew it!"

Batgirl and Robin looked through the rear windshield to see a car hitting the breaks right behind it. "Get your gun and helmet," said Batgirl. She and Robin put on the helmets that were part of SWAT uniforms and seized the appropriate machine guns. "Out!" They got out and trained the guns on the other car.

Studge and Louis leaned out and pointed guns at them.

"So you thought we'd fall for the old 'Ambush the soldier and dress up in his uniform' trick?" smirked Studge. "Sorry, but I pay attention to details, and none of the women and short men on the mission look anything like you."

_Uh-Oh! Think fast!_

"You guys are so stupid," said Batgirl. "We've got body armor and assault rifles. You can't win."

"Everyone knows you don't kill anybody," laughed Studge.

"But we're cold-hearted vigilantes, remember?" bluffed Batgirl. "We only never killed so you'd think we were your friends. No use pretending now."

_Please believe me. Making threats you can't back up usually doesn't work._

Studge waited for a moment. "Let them go, Louis."

Some running and Batgirl and Robin found the Batcycle and rode back to the Batcave.

"You can say it," grinned Batgirl.

"You're a genius," said Robin.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman followed Harley Quinn's directions to the letter. He entered the door to see The Joker holding James Gordon prisoner with an automatic pistol.

"Since I didn't hear you going through any other rooms," guessed Joker, "I'm gonna guess that you broke her. She will be punished most severely, though I've done such a job with her mind that she might like it." The Joker laughed at the thought of it.

"You won't be able to punish anyone in a padded cell," Batman disagreed. "So put Gordon down."

"Where's the fun in that?" asked Joker.

Batman tried to use sleight-of-hand to get a Batarang out of his belt like a magician would.

"I know you want to beat me up," cautioned The Joker, "But this isn't an action movie. Your throw won't beat my trigger finger and I have other toys if it somehow does. It's not all about you, Bats." More laughter.

Batman sighed. "I'm the one you want, Joker."

"Oh, don't worry," quipped The Joker. "I'm just trying to make you jealous. You'll always be my favorite. Turn around and kneel down." Batman did so.

"No," shouted James. "Listen to me, Batman. I'm retired. I've done all I can for this city and you've lots more to give. Besides, you can't trust his word." Batman ignored him. He was not sacrificing James But neither was Batman giving up. Knowing The Joker, he would have to be dramatic about this. He did not settle for quick kills.

Sure enough, The Joker said, "I don't know which peculiar characteristic of yours Gordon has more brought out. Your selflessness or your gullibility. I mean, you couldn't have actually believed me, could you?"

But as The Joker spoke Batman had drawn a Batarang with his back turned to his nemesis, enabling his cape to conceal this. He threw at where he sensed the gun was. He missed it, but the pain in The Joker's right shoulder made him drop his weapon.

"No," Batman charged at The Joker. A right cross decked The Joker. Knowing he could survive a fall, Batman threw him out the window.

Batman left Magical Nightsong to check on his enemy's health. Joker was a bit more hurt than Batman had imagined and would require medical attention back in Arkham. Still alive, though. The Dark Knight had shown enough mercy.

By now, James had gotten outside as well and said, "Thank you."

"Can you take it from here?" asked Batman, not wanting to be there when the police arrived.

"Yeah," said James. "But before you go - don't leave! This is important to me even if it isn't to you."

Batman stopped running.

"No matter what anyone says," promised James, "you'll always be a hero to me."

"Thank you comm..." Batman had called James "Commissioner" for so long, he could not get used to someone else having that job. "...Jim."

**Barbara's perspective:**

The next evening, Barbara had arrived at Wayne Manor.

"Batgirl's no longer restricted from solo work," said Bruce.

"Glad to hear it," said Barbara. "Why so soon?"

"I read about your escape from the police last night," said Bruce. "You were in the most perilous of situations but you're still free. You had to get your cool back to survive. Good work, soldier."

"Thanks, Bruce," said Barbara. "And Dad told me about how you saved him. That means a lot to me."

"I wouldn't have been much of a friend if I'd let you lose your father the way I lost mine," Bruce accepted Barbara's gratitude.

Barbara nodded. She knew Bruce was tormented by that experience. She had often wondered how should could have handled it. She was glad she did not have to learn.


	5. Catmail, Part I

**Batman's perspective:**

The Batman and Robin saw a pair of burglars gathering things in a closed store. Batman drove around the block and hit the brakes. He and Robin began looking around the corner of the store, nightvision lenses on. Because it was so dark, the odds that the burglars would spot them were not high.

The burglars got out of the store with bagfuls of unknown objects. Batman and Robin came out from the side of the store and chucked Batbolas. The legs of the burglars were tied in Batbolas. But one of them managed to stay on his feet.

Not wanting to make things too difficult for the young, inexperienced Robin, Batman commanded, "Take the downed one." Batman delivered a flying kick at the standing burglar, knocking him down. Batman snap kicked him in the head a couple more times to make sure. Meanwhile, Robin had easily kicked the prone criminal into unconsciousness.

Batman took one of the burglars' phones and called Marc Freeman, a police lieutenant and a member of the notable minority of officers calling for Mayor Charles Falsootu to rescind the arrest order and price he had put on the heads of Batman and his allies.

"Hello?" asked Freeman.

"Trace the call," said Batman. "Robin and I have some trash for you to take out."

"Thank you," said Freeman. "Now you have to vamoose. Sorry, man."

Robin was already on his way to the Batmobile. Batman was both glad for Robin's learning skills that he had gotten used to being wanted by the police and depressed that it had come to almost feeling comfortable with this new reality.

"You didn't even wait for me to call you to the Batmobile this time," said Batman as he drove away from the bust.

"Should I have?" asked Robin.

"It's not that," assured Batman. "I like that you're more on top of things than you used to be. But have you grown comfortable with being wanted? Because if you are _that _is a problem."

"I'm not comfortable with it," Robin made himself clear. "I think I've become numb to it."

"Me too," said Batman. "But I will never give up hope of clearing our names. I hope you don't either."

Robin said nothing more.

**Bruce Wayne's perspectives:**

After his shower, Bruce checked the messages on his phone one last time. He had received one from a woman he had not seen in years: Talia al Ghul. It read, "Beloved, my father has escaped. Please visit me in Egypt to plan our next move. You will find my address in a phone book."

Bruce hated leaving Gotham, especially under these circumstances, but he had no choice. Ra's had nearly poisoned the human population of the entire world once before. Batgirl would have to handle Gotham. He made a call.

"OK, what's so important it can't wait until tomorrow?" asked Barbara Gordon.

"A criminal who's a threat to the entire world, Ra's al Ghul, is on the loose," said Bruce.

"Is this your annual trip out of town and leaving me in charge of Gotham?" asked Barbara.

"Yes," said Bruce, surprised by how pleased Barbara was to hear it.

"Don't worry," Barbara expressed her confidence. "I've handled this before."

"Just remember," cautioned Bruce, "This is not a game. That you've been able to handle it before without me doesn't necessarily mean you will now, especially since the police will be looking for you."

"I know what I'm doing," promised Barbara. "Robin and I just got out of a ring of cops. Besides, you know you have to do this."

She was right about that. But Bruce had to explain his absence.

The next morning, Bruce made another call, this time to Wayne Enterprises vice president Lucius Fox.

"Hello, Bruce," said Lucius.

"Lucius," said Bruce. "I think I've long been too obsessed with work."

"Finally got it, huh?" asked Lucius. After all, Bruce had not taken an extended break.

"I'm taking a vacation," said Bruce. "If you can take care of the company in my stead." That was just a formality. Bruce knew that Lucius was extremely competent. Besides, leaving Ra's to plot the destruction of all but a few humans was not an option, even if there had been no good option to leave in charge of the company.

**Selina Kyle's perspective:**

"Selina," said her best friend, Sabisia Williams, "Bruce is taking his private plane on vacation.

"Really?" asked Selina. She knew two things: that Bruce Wayne and Batman were the same man and that Wayne never took vacations. "Then I can't wait any longer."

"Why?" asked Sabisia. "Why not take advantage of his absence?"

"It's an opportunity, yes?" acknowledged Selina. "But Wayne's on a dangerous mission."

"You really think that's the reason for the 'vacation?'" asked Sabisia.

"He never takes vacations," Selina pointed out. "There's no other reason for him to change that."

"You gonna help him?" guessed Sabisia.

"Wrong question," said Selina. "I'm gonna tell him that I know who he is. I'll have me a man or be a hundred thousand dollars richer!"

**Bruce's perspective:**

Bruce had made his statement announcing that he was going on vacation and was ready to enter his private jet, luggage containing Batsuit and normal essentials in hand. He had planned for there to be no one else on this flight, but when he opened the door, Selina Kyle was on the other side.

"Hello again," said Selina, stepping aside to let Bruce into the plane. They had met and eaten lunch together not that long ago, but not seen each other since. Why was Selina here?

"How can I help you?" asked Bruce.

"The correct question is can I help _you_?" grinned Selina.

"I'm not following," said Bruce. "Help me out."

"Gladly," said Selina, lying sexily on the sofa, which Bruce had to admit made her look attractive.

Still Bruce was not losing his wits. "You seem to be mistaken. I'm just taking a vacation. I don't need help for that. And you're a lovely woman, but I don't think we know each other well enough to spend weeks together." Bruce had been deliberately vague on how long this vacation would last because he did not know how long he would be gone.

"Enough bullshit," said Selina. "Let's get to business. I know what you do on nights your fickle dates aren't eating dinner with you."

_No, she couldn't have! _"Do you mean playing games on my phone?" asked Bruce.

"Denial is a river in Egypt," Selina groaned. "You're The Batman."

This was a moment Bruce had feared. But for it to happen with the woman he knew but could not prove to be The Catwoman was very, very bad. "If you look into me, I'm far too clumsy and skittish to be..." Selina frowned, held out an open palm, and got up.

"Yeah, your disguise is perfect," complimented Selina. "But it's hard to hide from anyone who knows how to avoid being seen. I know all about you, now, honey. That you're Batman. What you're no doubt calling a Batcave. Even that you were motivated by the deaths of your parents to do what you do. That's one thing we have in common. Did I miss anything?"

Bruce paused as the reality of this finally set in. "No. What do you want... Catwoman?"

"That depends," sighed Selina. "You calling me Catwoman isn't a good sign."

"For what?" demanded Bruce.

"I asked you if I could help you," Selina reminded Bruce. "It's up to you. You offered to put a good word in for me for rehabilitation years ago."

"That's no longer on the table," said Bruce.

"I know," understood Selina. "You're not well-liked by the cops anymore. But I wasn't offering to surrender to them anyway. I'm offering to surrender to you." She moved in close and gripped the collar of Bruce's shirt, causing him to blush.

"Why?" Bruce asked. He had not lost his sense to this woman.

"Three reasons," said Selina, "First, it's time for this chase to end - one way or another. Second, you don't know how to stay one step ahead of the cops. You need me, Brucie. Third, I can't hold it in. I like you a lot. You're great for a white guy!"

Bruce saw that Selina was about to try to kiss him and said, "What if I told you I don't think Batman needs your help?"

"Guys are the same in all colors," said Selina. "Supposedly, Daddy was killed by the police because his drinking problem drove 'im nuts. Not that I believe that, but it's probably a partial truth. It was too late for my Mom to set him straight, but it's not too late for me to guide you... whether you think you need me or not." Selina chuckled.

"Perhaps I haven't made myself clear," said Bruce. "What if I said I can't trust you? What if I said, 'I don't date thieves?'"

Selina backed up, crossing her eyes. "Then I go with my head over my heart. Cops have been monitoring me ever sense they started thinking that I'm Catwoman. I made sure to throw them off on the way here, but if I don't disappear from this country right now, it won't be long. One accusation and a hand-out of proof I've got, will put you in jail and a big fat reward in my hands. Make the right choice."

"I can take you down," said Bruce.

"Oh, no," Selina mocked and motioned her hands as if she was terrified, "You're gonna try to beat me up. Have mercy! 'Cause you don't wanna get caught beating a pretty girl you dated not long ago just because she knows your secret. Heads I win; tails you lose."

The woman Bruce had once known only as Catwoman was as clever as ever. She had him like a proverbial bat in a cage. But Bruce did not give up easily.

"You probably have an idea of what I'm doing for 'vacation,'" guessed Bruce, "So you must have brought your Catsuit."

"Costume," Selina "corrected" with a grin from her left ear. "I'm going to a... costume party tonight. Unless they catch me doing something wrong with that suit, they'll never prove otherwise." That locked the cage door.

"All right," Bruce finally gave in. "You can come. I'm flying. There's a bathroom in the back and food in the refrigerator for both." Bruce pointed to these things as he mentioned them.

"Thank you," smirked Selina triumphantly. "You're a generous guy. Now get us outta here before the cops catch my trail."

Bruce moved to the cockpit and lifted off. This gave him a chance to think about having been blackmailed into allowing Selina to come. The question was why. Was she sincere about wanting to help and looking for love, or was she planning to take Bruce out? Additionally, how had she figured out who he was in the first place? By her admission, Bruce had done a good job of hiding his dual identity.

_Could she be working for Ra's al Ghul. Of course! That has to be the reason. This is all a trap._

Forty-three minutes of flying and Bruce sensed walking through the cockpit.

"I know you're there, Selina," said Bruce. "Tell me. Does Catwoman work for Ra's al Ghul?"

"You know Catwoman doesn't work for anyone," said Selina. "I don't even know any Ra's." She sounded sincere, but Bruce could not be sure. He had a feeling that Selina was either going to save his life or help end it.

Selina whistled to get Bruce to face her and pointed at his lap. "May I?"

"No," said Bruce.

"Too bad," said Selina. "I'm comin' down anyway." She sat in Bruce's lap and put her arms around his neck.

"I thought you'd surrendered to me," said Bruce.

"I lied," said Selina, kissing him.

_No! Don't return the kiss._

Bruce returned the kiss.

**Ra's al Ghul's perspective:**

Ra's al Ghul examined his options carefully. It was time.

"Ubu," commanded Ra's, "We are finally ready to proceed. You must fly to the outpost in Sweden."

"What about The Detective?" asked Ubu.

"I will deal with him myself," said Ra's. "You need not concern yourself with him. Go." Ubu did so.

Although Ra's had been set back for nearly three years, things were finally back on track. The planet would be saved from the arrogant, irresponsible, greedy excesses of humanity.

**Bruce's perspective:**

"She's two hundred forty years old?" asked an astonished Selina as Bruce landed the plane.

"Yes," said Bruce.

"OK," said Selina. "It's not just anybody I'm hearing this from. But how?"

"Apparently there really is a Fountain of Youth," said Bruce. "It's known as the Lazarus Pit. It's kept Ra's al Ghul and his daughter, Talia, young. But it also affects your mind."

"Hence Ra's being nuts," realized Selina.

"You're catching on," said Bruce.

"I kind of see his point," said Selina. "This is a sick, unfair society, especially to nature. But he's going about this the wrong way."

"Agreed," concurred Bruce.

The pair walked to an Egyptian home. "This is the place I traced Talia's message to," Bruce said before knocking on the door. Talia opened it.

"Hello, Beloved," said Talia, hugging Bruce. "It is good to see you."

"This is Selina Kyle," said Bruce.

"I know _exactly _who she is," said Talia, giving Selina a dirty look. "Beloved, I understand that over the years that passed since we last met, you have moved on, but why, oh, why have you chosen a common thief?"

"Common?" asked a surprised Selina. "You've got a lot of nerve!"

"It isn't like that," insisted Bruce.

"Oh, yes it is," smiled Selina, wrapping her arms around Bruce's waist and pressing her face against his back.

Talia was displeased. "Enough. We have work to do. I woke up a few days ago to find my mad father out of the house. I have tracked him down. Together, we must stop him. Any other problems will have to wait."

Bruce felt as though his life had just gotten a lot more complicated.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and Catwoman were suited up. They headed towards the pyramid where Talia said Ra's was hiding and cooking up whatever his new plot was.

Batman and Catwoman slammed the heads of the two guards at the entrance together to knock them out. The three then entered and explored. For some time, there was no more trouble.

"I don't like this," said Batman.

"What is not to like, Beloved?" asked a satisfied Talia.

"Next to no danger so far," said Batman. "This is too easy. Your father captured and nearly killed us years ago. Something else is going on."

"Hold that thought, please," said Talia. "أغلق السمسم." A door-shaped gate opened ahead opened.

"That means, 'open sesame,'" translated Batman.

"Who are you, the narrator?" asked an annoyed Catwoman.

Batman and Catwoman walked into the next room. It was a large chamber for a ancient lord. But nothing pertaining to Ra's seemed to be there.

"Let's look," said Batman, though he remained mindful of any hidden dangers.

"You know," noted Catwoman. "If Ra's is gonna spring a trap, when's it gonna..."

"أغلق السمسم," Talia repeated. The gate closed.

"I had to ask," seethed Catwoman.

"Talia," shouted Batman. "Are you alright."

"Much better than you think," declared the voice of Ra's al Ghul. "My daughter is cured of her bad case of apologism."

"I am sorry, Beloved," said Talia. "More than words can say. But the time for a peaceful solution has passed."

"I knew something was off about you, bitch," said Catwoman.

"I am beyond caring about the opinion of a common thief," said Talia.

"I am who I am," said Catwoman. "But I'm no killer."

"Detective," said Ra's. "The Catwoman presents a test. My daughter wants you alive to be my male heir alongside her. To prove your loyalty, you must slay the thief."

"You wouldn't," whispered Catwoman.

"No," said Batman.

"Please, Beloved," said Talia. "I beg you. Do not hurt us both."

"I can't do it, Talia," Batman drew his line in the sand. "I can't kill. Nor can I understand how you can."

"Farewell, Beloved," said Talia. "We shall not meet again." Within seconds, water was gushing out the mouths of lion statues that were high on the walls.

"We have outposts in Sweden, North Dakota, and China," explained Ra's. "They will inject just the right pattern of energy into their respective continents to break them up, destroying man's ability to harm the planet."

"You'll do that much damage to 'save' the planet?" asked Batman furiously. "There will be billions in human casualties alone!"

"Small next to what they were doing. We leave you two to drown."

"Talia," Batman tried to appeal to the heart of the woman who loved him. Or at least once did. "Talia! Talia!" No answer.

"I want to remind you that I had to blackmail you to bring me along because you didn't trust me," Catwoman reminded Batman.

"You never miss a shot, do you?" asked Batman. But that was the least of his worries.

**To be continued...**


	6. Catmail, Part II

**Batman's perspective:**

"So what's the plan?" asked The Catwoman. She and The Batman were still trapped in the chamber deep inside the pyramid. The water pouring out of statues from above had risen to over a foot high.

"I'm not sure," said Batman. "This isn't going to be easy."

"Why not?" asked Catwoman. "Knowing you, you've got bombs."

"Yes," confirmed Batman. "Only problem is, the pyramids are thousands of years old. You should know; your ancestors built them. If I blow a hole in this, it's liable to cause a chain reaction that will cave the roof in on us! Maybe even, the entire thing."

"Oh," said a disappointed Catwoman.

"Our only chance," said Batman as he took two Batarangs out of his belt, "Is to carefully remove the lower blocks. But this will take some very nimble hands."

"Much more nimble you've got," said Catwoman. "No problem. I've been picking locks and dodging laser alarms since before I had a breast. I can do this. _Now_ aren't you glad I made you take me on this trip, Batman?"

Batman handed over the Batarangs. "Hmm?" asked Catwoman.

"I am now," Batman finally admitted. "And you'd have been put away years ago if my taste in women wasn't so awful. Happy?"

"I waited three years to get that out of you," grinned Catwoman. "Thanks. Now zip it up. I need to concentrate."

**Talia al Ghul's perspective:**

Ra's al Ghul was on the phone. "Yes, you are to be my male heir. The pleasure is all mine. Please go to China and assume command. Thank you. Goodbye."

Talia knew who her father had been talking to. "Was that him?"

"Yes," said Ra's. "He will be your husband when all this is over. You need one, after all. The plan will destroy the Lazarus Pit. Without it I have a few good years left at most. To recreate this world falls to him and you."

Ra's was an ancient man with an ancient mind. He did not believe in sole female heirs. This left Talia wondering why she had chosen him over Bruce Wayne.

"Do my old senses detect second thoughts?" asked Ra's "Is this your objection to our traditions? Or do you still have feelings for The Detective? Or perhaps you are still unsure about this path?"

The answer was all three.

"Dear Daughter, this is something you must understand. The Detective is minutes away from death. There are people on my bases that will carry out my plan. You have made your choice. Be comfortable with that."

Talia sighed and realized that Ra's was right. "Yes, Father." _I am sorry, Beloved._

**Batman's perspective:**

The water was now thirteen feet high and still rising. Batman was swimming. Catwoman surfaced. "Time for the good, the bad and the ugly. I know, I watch too many movies, even old ones. The good news is that I got a block out. One more and we're outta here. The bad news is the rebreather's out of power. Down to the fifteen or twenty minutes I can last underwater. The ugly is it looks like that clever bitch and her bastard dad are flooding the whole damn pyramid."

"Do you have to use so many cuss words?" asked Batman.

"I gotcha by the balls and I'm doing all the work, so Hell, yes," Catwoman grinned from her left ear.

"Get back down there when you can," said Batman. "I don't mind dying, but I will not leave the world at Ra's mercy."

"I, for one, wanna live forever," said Catwoman. "Trust me, I'm doing all I can." She dived into the water.

The waiting game. The water rose another few feet as seventeen minutes passed. _Should've been here a long time ago._

He swam underwater to see Catwoman unconscious and floating in the water. Batman dragged her to the surface and began breathing air into her. _No, please!_

"You crooked cops ain't taking me alive," an only half-awake Catwoman shouted in Batman's face. Batman smiled and said softly, "Wake up. You're having a nightmare." Catwoman's eyes slowly opened.

"Guess I stayed down there too long," Catwoman realized. "It won't happen again."

"It sure won't," said Batman. "Because you're not going back down there. We need another plan."

"What other plan?" asked Catwoman. "You're not good enough with your hands. And from taking that block out, I can tell this place really is coming down if we try to blow a hole in it. Face it. It's our only chance."

Catwoman was right. Batman had to let her try. "Be careful."

Catwoman nodded. Seconds after she had submerged, she popped back up, surprising Batman.

"Don't ever try to protect me like that again, Batman," said Catwoman with fiery eyes. "I'm not a damsel in distress or a kid you trained. In fact, I've been living a dangerous life longer than you."

"Sorry," said Batman. "I won't patronize you again."

Catwoman went back down. The minutes that followed were agony for Batman. He knew he should have had his head examined for feeling this way about a criminal who had blackmailed him, but it was who he was. Besides, from a coldly rational standpoint, if he had no choice but to accept Catwoman, he might as well get comfortable.

After nine minutes, Catwoman submerged, huffing and puffing. "I-I've finally cleared a p-path to - ow!" she had bumped her head on the ceiling that the water had nearly reached.

"We need to get out of here right now," said Batman. "Can you make it by yourself?"

Catwoman looked at him fearfully. "Yeah. I'm tired and sore. And I think I feel a headache coming on. But I'm a survivor."

_I didn't think you could. _Batman gripped Catwoman in a martial arts throat lock to slow down the muscles in her neck.

"You son of a..." began Catwoman before passing out.

"Hate me if you want," Batman quickly spoke before Catwoman totally lost conscious. "But be alive." Batman took off his cape and wrapped it around Catwoman's head many times and tied it there. A few minutes of air were provided by the cape, making up for her being unconscious.

Holding Catwoman in one arm, Batman swam down and through the opening Catwoman had made. And so began a long swim.

Several minutes had gone by. Batman felt more and more sure that he had done the right thing. In her weakened state, Catwoman certainly would never have lasted this long underwater. But what about Batman? His body was crying out for air. _No, don't drown, Wayne. A life is depending on you right now. And many others before long. Die on your own time._

But reality came calling. Batman's eyes closed. Then he felt himself wake up on impact with the outside of the pyramid that he was sliding down. And he was still holding Catwoman. His instincts and experience must have kept him going despite having passed out.

The two landed on the sandy ground after sliding off the pyramid. Batman removed the cape from Catwoman and put it back on. Catwoman awakened.

"Are you alright?" asked Batman as he knelt over Catwoman.

"Yeah," said Catwoman as she kissed the left side of Batman's mouth. "That was for dragging me to safety." She gritted her teeth and slapped Batman across the face, although without claws. "That was for breaking your promise."

"You're welcome and I'm sorry," said Batman as he carried Catwoman on the walk back to the plane. Since Ra's had other vehicles, he had not seemed to care about it, what with Batman and Catwoman dead. Or so he believed.

Batman placed Catwoman on a couch in the passenger's section of the plane. "Rest. As soon as you're able, put on your street clothes. I'll do the same. We've got a lot of work to do and only a day or two to do it in. Our next stop is Beijing, China."

**Selina Kyle's perspective:**

Bruce had landed just north of Beijing, China. Selina marveled at the site of a car waiting for them outside.

"Yes, my rental's waiting for me, courtesy of a silver spoon."

"So you can afford to get me a hat in Beijing," said Selina.

"What do you need with that?" asked Bruce.

"'Cause I've got a 'fro," said Selina. "I'd rather draw as little attention as possible."

"I'll get one for myself as well," said Bruce. "For a moment, I thought you were talking like you were my girlfriend."

"Who said I wasn't?" Selina decided to test Bruce by snuggling against his right arm with her hands and left cheek. Bruce was blushing but said nothing. Selina took that as an affirmative.

They walked into a store. Bruce used his credit card to buy two caps, which he and Selina put on. Noticing that Bruce had spoken Mandarin to make the purchases, Selina asked, "What don't you know?"

"I didn't go to Princeton for nothing," said Bruce.

"Would that be a sense of humor?" asked Selina.

"Bad day," said Bruce.

Now they both looked totally like ordinary tourists, although Bruce still had a belt of tools, and Selina still had a pair of clawed gloves on. Bruce drove them around awhile before parking near a specific building. "The sign says, 'Lady Shiva's Kwoon,'" explained Bruce. "Kwoons are Chinese martial arts schools."

"But we both know how to fight," said Selina.

"The headmistress, Lady Shiva," Bruce continued, "Is a great martial artist. Maybe the greatest in the world!"

"Besides you, you mean?" guessed Selina.

"She's a former member of The League of Assassins and still has contacts there," said Bruce. "She's our only lead on where in the world's largest country Ra's' base might be located."

Selina noticed that Bruce had not answered her question. Bruce conferred with a clerk in Mandarin. He led Bruce and Selina on.

"He's taking us to Shiva," explained Selina, who barely noticed. She was still chilled at the thought that there could possibly exist a better hand-to-hand combatant than The Batman.

The clerk left Bruce and Selina in a training room on the highest floor of the kwoon. A woman was in a training room but without students.

"Lady Shiva at your service," said this woman with folded hands and a military bow. She was smiling. But it was not a very pleasant smile. "My friends call me Sandra Wu-San. I've been expecting you."

"Bruce Wayne," said Bruce.

"Selina Kyle," said Selina with surprise that Shiva spoke English.

"Day names for daytime, I see," said Shiva. "Don't bother. I watch enough news to be one of the seven percent of all people to know who The Catwoman really is. And as for The Batman, I've seen how he and you walk, Mr. Wayne." Shiva was pointing at Bruce. "To a first class warrioress like myself, how people move is like a fingerprint."

"Don't," Bruce stopped Selina as she was thinking of striking to protect their secrets. "If she wanted to exploit our secret, she'd have done it by now."

"Unlike some people, I respect the privacy of others," Shiva stared hard at Selina. "But that does not mean I'm beyond pressing them to get what I want. You seek to save the world from The League of Assassins. I have information you need to do this."

"How the Hell do you know even half this shit?" demanded Selina.

"I was once a member of The League before I came to realize that Ra's al Ghul is a madman," explained Shiva.

"I see you know him," agreed Bruce.

"And as I already told you, I pay attention to detail. Here is the bargain. I am renowned as the greatest in Asia, if not the entire world! But I'm always seeking worthy adversaries."

"I don't like your attitude, Shiva," said Selina. "You're on!"

"You are not worthy, kittten," snickered Shiva. "As you Americans say, I could kill you with both arms tied behind my back! My challenge is to Mr. Wayne. Face me in a fair fight. No matter how it goes, I will tell you where Ra's al Ghul's strongholds are. Should I perish, seek one of the other masters. They'll provide the agreed-upon information."

"That's just it," said Bruce. "I want a condition to this battle. Both of us live to tell about it."

"Unacceptable," frowned Shiva. "Without the possibility of death, this battle loses all meaning."

"I won't kill," said Bruce. "I won't become a murderer."

"Is that what you see me as?" sneered Shiva with suppressed anger rising. "I am of the traditional noble warrior tradition of China. To me, it is barbaric _not _to inflict glorious death in victory. Defeat without honor is a shame for the helpless. Don't start. I can't expect you Westerners to understand."

"Hold it," said Selina. "I thought you Chinese were atheists."

"Most are," sighed Shiva. "True warriors are a dying breed even here, but it still means everything to me. You have no choice, Mr. Wayne. You need to know what I do. Don't delay."

Bruce turned to Selina. "Selina, you need to see this through."

"Of course we will," said Selina, not quite sure why Bruce thought he had to say that.

"I love you, Selina," Bruce said as he hugged his former foe.

"I've been waiting for that," smiled Selina. Bruce stepped onto the training mat. _Why'd he break down like that? He's not expecting to lose, is he?_

Bruce Thomas Wayne and Sandra "Lady Shiva" Wu-San took fighting stances. Selina gasped as she saw that Shiva's was flawless... and finally considered that Bruce really was about to die.

After forty-three minutes of shifting about to look for an opening, Shiva struck Bruce with a snap kick to the right hip, staggering him. A spinning left reverse elbow and a high snap kick had Bruce flat on his back.

Shiva, not one to waste her time, squatted, jumped and landed by kicking down at Bruce's chest. Rib would have sliced heart had he not log rolled away at the last moment. _Oh, my God! He's gonna leave me the way Dad did - in a fight he probably, but not necessarily, had no control over._

As Bruce tried to stand, Shiva somersaulted and landed on Bruce, her legs on his shoulders. Shiva locked her fingers together to increase the power of the three elbow strikes she leveled on Bruce. Bruce then managed to wrestle Shiva off him, but as Shiva was about to be driven head-first into the mat, she shook out of Bruce's grasp and knocked him several steps back and down with a straight-handed thrust to the nose that knocked snot out.

"So this is the great Batman," Shiva shook her head. "Just another arrogant little Western boy. Not that Asians can measure up to my standards, but they can at least _touch _me." She slowly advanced again. Selina was afraid for Bruce, but she did not step in. They were in an entire school of skilled combatants. That was not a fight they could win.

Another flurry of hand strikes and kicks came at Bruce, but he managed to block or dodge them all. He countered with a right cross. Bruce pressed his advantage with two jabs and a headbutt that knocked Shiva flat.

"My apologies," said Shiva with respect.

"Not accepted, murderess," said Bruce with contempt.

But Selina was far from reassured. Those blows had not hurt Shiva as much as they should have. "You can't hold anything back, Bruce," screamed Selina. "If you're not as determined and ruthless as her, you'll never make it!"

"Absolutely not," shouted Bruce, although he kept his eyes on Shiva. "She's trying to kill. I can't." Selina's fear for Bruce was growing by the second.

Bruce and Shiva began exchanging blows. Most were blocked or dodged. Bruce was getting the worst of it, not only because he was getting most of the attacks that connected, but also, because he, unlike Shiva, was hitting with less than full force.

The imbalance of hits and force behind the hits between Bruce and Shiva went on for two minutes and twenty-three seconds before Shiva finalized her advantage with several muscle-number palm strikes to the abdomen and chest of Bruce. Bruce was now gasping for breath motionlessly. Lady Shiva pushed him over.

"Stop," pleaded Selina. "You beat him. Isn't that enough?"

"No," said Shiva. She turned to the fallen Wayne. "You are not the one to kill me. Pity. You should have listened to your lover. Then your chances would have nearly reached forty percent. Die well!" She stood over Bruce and raised her left hand with folded fingers. It was a death strike that could disable the throat with a single hit but required pin-point accuracy.

Selina Kyle could wait no longer. As Shiva prepared to strike, Selina was attempting to sneak up on her. Suddenly, Shiva spun around to face Selina. "Don't."

Instead, Selina began kicking at Shiva. Shiva easily blocked the kicks and responded with a knee to the gut and another under the chin, knocking Selina down. Shiva lifted Selina up above her head and tossed her into a wall, head first.

A foot was on Selina's cheek, pressing hard enough to make cracking sounds. Never in her life had Selina imagined anything could hurt this much. "I could kill you in an instant," threatened Shiva. "But I won't. You deserve to suffer, thief. What on Earth he sees in you, I don't understand."

"Please..." said Selina.

"Have a bit of dignity in your soon to be ended life," mocked Shiva. Taking her advice, Selina closed her eyes in an attempt to blunt the pain and succeeded just well enough to sit up and drive all ten claws into Shiva's stomach. Shiva fell, clutching her midsection in pain. _Good thing I kept my gloves on._

"Bet that's more comfortable than getting crushed by your boot," panted Selina, showing Shiva her clawed and bloody gloves. "By the way, some eye for detail you turned out to have. Now let's see how badly you hurt your dance partner."

Selina walked over to Bruce, who was starting to recuperate. "You OK?"

"Yes," said Bruce. "You must have stopped her, but how?"

"Let's just say, I fight dirty," Selina draped Bruce's right arm around her neck and walked him to Shiva.

"You violated the terms," spat Shiva at both Bruce and Selina. "If you think I'm honoring my part after that..."

"If Ra's kills us all," warned Bruce, "You won't be able to get even with us."

Shiva closed her eyes in shame and said, "A compelling argument. Very well."

"Selina," said Bruce, "Set me down so I can write." He got a notepad and pen once he was on the ground.

"One is here in China," said Shiva. "Due west of the Yumen Pass. You can't miss it. Another is to the north of Lules, Sweden. I don't know where exactly the base in North Dakota is, save that Ra's will be there."

"That'll do," said Bruce.

"Save the world today," threatened Shiva. "But tomorrow, understand me. You have tainted an honorable battle. I will never forgive either of you, especially Kyle."

"Hope you're not making threats," said Selina. Despite her ambiguous gesture, she knew that Shiva intended to come to Gotham to kill them. One way to nip that in the bud.

"Selina, don't," said Bruce. "This may be her answer, but it isn't mine. Besides, she's bleeding out. To kill her now would be cold-blooded murder."

"And the ultimate act of cowardice," added Shiva.

They drove back to the plane. Selina hoped they would not regret leaving Lady Shiva alive. "How's your midsection?" asked Selina.

"Fine," said Bruce. Selina patted it. Bruce grunted in pain.

"Good as new," said Selina sarcastically.

"You were scared at certain points," said Bruce. "This is my life. Sure you want in it?"

"You don't give up, do you?" laughed Selina.

Once they reached the plane, Selina applied various medicine to the cuts and bruises on Bruce's gut and chest.

"I'm really sorry," said Selina. She was again afraid Bruce could not survive.

"Don't be," said Bruce. "You did plenty."

"Bruce," smirked Selina. "You're one Hell of a liar!"

**Catwoman's perspective:**

"Are you sure that's the right place?" asked Selina, pointing to a building in a forest.

"It's not a government building," answered Bruce. "There's no other reason to build it in a forest except Ra's al Ghul's mad plan. Besides, my Battablet's detecting a lot of energy usage here." He landed the plane just outside the jungle in which the building lay. Soon enough, Bruce and Selina had put on their suits to become The Bat and Cat.

"I'm the stealthier one," said Catwoman. "I should scout for a clear path to the place myself."

"This wouldn't be you not wanting to admit to patronizing me because I'm hurt?" asked Batman.

_Hey, what's a relationship without constant arguing? _Catwoman, brandishing a quarter, said, "We'll flip for it. If it's tails, you go." She flipped. Heads came up. Catwoman walked into the jungle. What Batman did not realize was that Catwoman had used a two-headed coin. It had been an efficient method of settling disputes she had with gang leaders and others she did business with.

Catwoman's scouting found her a path to the building. She also had to jump a few of Ra's men from behind. Catwoman may be a second-rate combatant, but none could match her stealth.

Returning to Batman, Catwoman said, "Follow me." After some time of walking, they saw the clearing. There were many men on patrol with rifles who stood between the building and its righteous saboteurs.

**Batman's perspective:**

A challenge lay before The Dark Knight and Princess of Plunder. "When I give you a 'Thumbs up' sign," directed Batman, follow me. Several seconds later, Batman saw a path that none of Ra's men were watching and gave Catwoman the sign; they moved under a jeep.

"Now what?" whispered Catwoman. "They'll never break long enough for us to get in."

Batman drew his Mini-Batjet and set it to fly around and into the opposite wall of the building. All Ra's men moved to investigate.

"Oh," realized Catwoman as she and Batman took the opportunity to advance to the building. "Nice move, baby."

"My Batgrapple is too loud," said Batman. "Can you climb this?"

"Sure," said Catwoman as she placed her claws in specific spots. She climbed, and Batman held on to her waist from behind. Batman spread his legs out and pressed his feet onto the wall to reduce how much weight Catwoman had to carry.

"I rather like this," Catwoman purred. Batman said nothing.

Once they reached a window, Batman opened it and climbed through to find a chef. "Say nothing," Batman said spookily. With the cook frozen in fear, Batman used the same nerve grip he had used on Catwoman earlier to knock out this man.

Batman and Catwoman scouted the place until they found a room with a a large computer, evidently the building's main one. Suddenly, Batman stopped.

"What's wrong?" asked Catwoman.

"I don't understand," said Batman. "The outside was full of thugs, but other than that chef, we haven't even found one. I have a feeling that those outside were a ruse for a..." he spun around to find a six-foot-eight man with tubes hooked into the back of his neck. "Bane."

"It is wise to not allow your ego to get in the way of your sense of reason, Batman," said Bane. "You humiliated me and took away years of my life. Revenge is mine. Besides, if I am to be Ra's heir, I must extinguish the one threat to his plan." Bane activated the pack of the powerful steroid on his back called Venom. Venom flowed through the tubes, increasing Bane's muscles.

_No room to move from this newly superhuman foe. Great._

Bane advanced. Batman and Catwoman hit him with all they had. All they had was not enough. Bane kicked Batman away and decked Catwoman with a punch.

By the time Batman got back within striking distance, Bane had knocked Catwoman out. Batman was knocked down by Bane's fist and was being choked when something occurred to him. Bane's muscle growth had to include the large wads of muscle in the rears of his upper shins.

Batman drove his right knee into one of those large patches of muscle. Pushed into the shin bones, these enlarged muscles overwhelmed and broke the bones they were pushed into. Bane screamed as he fell, clutching his broken shin.

Batman managed to roll away before his body made him rest. Bane was still extremely strong, even without the use of a leg Batman could not afford for Bane to be on top of him.

After Bane's body had adjusted to the pain, Batman said, "Would you care to tell me how to shut down the system you're tearing up the world with?"

"I'll think about it," said Bane nonchalantly.

"When the Chinese police come," said Batman, they'll put you away for terrorism. And then Ra's will do this all over again with a different heir. You'll die in prison."

"I never said I would not do it," said Bane. "Take me to the computer." Batman did so. Bane did some working. Everything in the place turned off after that. Batman turned one his nightvision lenses and stirred Catwoman up.

"I see you finished the job," smiled Catwoman. Batman was phoning the police.

Soon enough, the authorities were on their way. Without the place's energy-powered machinery, Bane's men would not be able to defend themselves. Batman and Catwoman sneaked away and back to their plane.

"Where to?" asked Catwoman.

"Lules, Sweden," said Batman.

"Why not North Dakota?" asked Catwoman.

"Because," explained Batman, "Flying across the Atlantic or Pacific takes a very long time. I fear we won't have enough to do so twice."

"So we risk our home country?" asked Catwoman.

"We have no choice," said Batman.

"Has it occurred to you that we might not be able to save everyone? Heroes have to make hard choices."

"I don't accept that," said Batman.

"Why not?" asked Catwoman with authority.

"Because 'Hard choices' has justified too many tragedies. How do you think I, a member of society's elite, both as Bruce Wayne and as The Batman, have managed to keep my head high with so much corruption in the world? Because I never lose sight of what is right. Heroes never do. And Catwoman, if you can't accept that, you made the wrong choice when you took my secret identity to me and not the Mayor."

**Catwoman's perspective:**

There were no more words between Batman and Catwoman during the flight to Lules. Catwoman was troubled by this entire thing. Why _had _she made the choice she did? Blackmailing Batman may not have exactly been noble, but it was far more noble than the alternative, especially since Catwoman's primary motive was that she felt Batman could use some help. Indeed, she had saved his ass more than once already.

And that was the problem. As tragic as it was to lose her mother in childbirth because the family could not pay the medical bills and her father in part to police officers being too aggressive in dealing with him, Catwoman hardly viewed herself as a Martin Luther King or Betty Friedan. She only sought to survive in an ugly society. Then along came a man on the opposite side of the law. A rival but not an enemy. Not even someone she did not like. At the end of the day, Catwoman had done what she had for Batman.

But was he all she had done it for? Or had Batman inspired a heroic edge in Catwoman that even she had not believed existed. The reader should understand that to her, this was not a good thing.

She wished she could still believe that. After all, wasn't it supposed to be Catwoman manipulating Batman?

Soon enough, the two spotted a building resembling the one Bane had run in China and landed in front of it. This time there were no men outside.

"Another trap?" asked Catwoman as they departed the plane.

"Ra's would never be this obvious about it," said Batman. "Whatever it is, it's something different from a trap." He and Catwoman entered and scouted the building. Eventually, they found a large, bald-headed man named Ubu.

"Welcome, Detective," called Ubu. "I have been waiting years to repay my debt to you. And I see you brought The Catwoman, who I am fairly indifferent to. Madam, you are in the wrong place, at the wrong time." Ubu began chanting something in Swedish.

"No doubt you know what he's saying, Batman" said Catwoman, since Batman seemed to speak every single language. Must have been Bruce Wayne's preparation for business deals with companies from other countries.

"Actually, I don't," said Batman. "Whatever he's saying, it's far, far, from standard Swedish."

Within seconds, tremors could be heard. The ghostly images of two wolves descended through the ceiling to the ground, than transformed into corporeal wolf/man hybrids.

"Werewolves," explained Ubu. "This is a site where many were slain hundreds of years ago so the spirits of this long gone species are strong here. Best of luck."

"On the off-chance these are real werewolves," warned Batman. "Don't let them bite or scratch you.

"I watch movies," said Catwoman. "I know what their teeth do to people."

"I know you're an animal lover, but..." said Batman.

"Don't worry," said Catwoman. "I don't like dogs very much. Sniff me out, bark at, and bite me when I'm doing a job."

The werewolves charged. As the one targeting Catwoman neared, Catwoman leaped and wrapped her right leg around the werewolf's head so he couldn't bite. Catwoman held the wrists to immobilize the hand claws. It was time for offense. She kicked the werewolf in the groin, but he didn't flinch.

_No! It's not possible!_

With a jerk, Catwoman was thrown hard off the werewolf. He charged again. Catwoman caught his head trying to bite her, but he had the strength of a bear. The teeth came within inches.

Suddenly, the werewolf howled in pain as a thrown Batarang stuck into his neck. He fell and died. Batman held out his hand.

"Let me guess," Catwoman smiled gratefully. "Silver Batarang. You've gotta be luckiest son of a bitch who ever lived." She let Batman help her up.

"Now, Ubu," said Batman, "If you don't want the same, cooperate."

"I am far from finished, Detective," said a defiant Ubu. He began chanting again.

"Uh-uh," said Catwoman, brandishing her whip and charging. "You ain't pullin' that trick again on us again." She lashed out so the whip wrapped around Ubu's neck several times, preventing his spell and enabling Catwoman to choke him hard. The large, powerful man did manage to drag Catwoman off her feet with a jerk of the whip, but a flying kick from Batman finished Ubu off.

"That should be about all here," said Batman as Catwoman holstered her whip.

Suddenly, Catwoman noticed a familiar man and woman.

"It's been a long time," said the man.

"This is not how I would have liked to meet you for the first time, 'young' lady," said the woman. Catwoman's heart sank upon hearing that.

"This is no place for tourists," said Batman.

"They're not tourists," explained Catwoman. "It's Mama Maria and Daddy Brian."

"I thought your parents were dead," said Batman skeptically.

"You promised me how many times that you were a good girl and would grow up to be a good woman?" asked Brian angrily. "You lied. You've done more bad shit than I could've possibly imagined!"

"I'm sorry," pleaded a heartbroken Selina. "I was so angry at the city for..."

"Do you think we never had reason to get mad?" asked Maria. "We're of the same background as you. And as for you, Batman, whatever you're doing, stop. As flattering as it is to a mother like me, she is a bad person. She doesn't deserve you. Never did, never will. She'll betray you to your death, take your money and company, and destroy all the future good you'll do."

Brian and Maria disappeared and Selina felt sick. Batman, noticing this walked over and said, "Pull down your mask." Selina did so.

Feeling Selina's forehead and throat, Batman said in horror. "That illusion did something to you. Fear and guilt are driving your heart rate and blood pressure up. You'll die if you don't come down."

"What makes you think it wasn't my real parents?" asked Selina. "Ubu created those werewolves, didn't he? And has it occurred to you that I may be getting what I deserve?"

"You're a thief," Batman acknowledged. "And the way you made yourself a part of this wasn't perfect. But God knows I'm not perfect. You've done plenty of good in your time. Without you, I'd probably be dead today. Below those thieving impulses is a heart of gold, even if you don't always listen to it."

"You believe that?" asked Catwoman as she started to calm down.

"I guess I always have," said Batman as he hugged her. Catwoman's blood pressure and beating heart slowly returned to normal as they embraced.

"I'm never taking back what I revealed about myself, am I?" asked Batman.

"Not a chance," smiled Catwoman as she pulled her mask back over her face. "Tell me how much you adore me later. Let's finish this."

Batman and Catwoman eventually found the machinery that evidently injected energy into the ground break of a significant percentage of the world's land mass. Batman put a plastic explosive down next to it.

"We've got to get out of here and take Ubu a safe distance away," said Batman. "Then I trigger this bomb. It and these machines will create a chain reaction." They did so. Well away from the place, Batman got something out his belt and pushed a button.

Within seconds, the whole place had gone up. "Better than the Fourth of July," said Catwoman.

"Don't get cocky, Selina," warned Batman. "Remember that we haven't seen the al Ghuls since escaping the pyramid in Egypt. The hardest part is likely still to come. I wonder why Ubu's last trick had nothing for me."

Catwoman laughed. "Something for the holier-than-thou Batman to feel bad about? You're not Superman but that still ain't gonna work on you."

**Batman's perspective:**

There was no need to change clothes on the flight to Ra's last remaining base. Batman and Catwoman knew it was in the American state of North Dakota.

"I haven't gotten any sleep..." yawned Catwoman before touching her chin in thought.

"Since you blackmailed me a day and a half ago?" asked Batman.

"That sounds about right," chuckled Catwoman. "But 'blackmail' is such a strong word. I just did what I had to to get you to do the right thing in bringing me. You know you prefer it this way. Speaking of which, you couldn't have fully recovered from your injuries by now."

"I'll live," said Batman.

"Give me the basics on flying a plane," offered Catwoman. "Since there's nothing across the Atlantic, I can handle it that long."

"Your talents are in speed and stealth, not handling physically grueling tasks," said Batman. "Go to the couch and sleep."

"I don't need to," promised Catwoman

"Perhaps I haven't made myself clear," said Batman more forcefully.

"I definitely haven't made myself clear," Catwoman returned Batman's verbal force with her own. "Nobody, especially a guy who I've all the leverage over, tells The Catwoman what to do." But thirteen minutes later. Catwoman had dozed off anyway.

Batman carried Catwoman off to the couch to make her more comfortable. _Some people aren't cut out for all-nighters._

Batman looked down on her. She was right about one thing. While the way he and Catwoman had ended up traveling together was not ideal, there was a part of Batman that was happy about it. He loved this woman. Criminal or not, he loved her. Besides, he believed she could and probably was redeeming herself. Otherwise, he could have never saved her from being literally dying of guilt at the hands of the spirits of her parents or other hallucinations designed to be Catwoman's .

Of course, believing in something was different from it actually happening. Rationally speaking there were three possibilities. Catwoman could change or force Batman to turn to crime. Batman did not like leaving anything to chance.

As the plane flew over Detroit, Michigan, Catwoman walked back into the cockpit, yawning.

"Welcome back, Selina," greeted Batman.

"You put me on the couch where I'd be too comfortable to get up," interpreted Catwoman. "I don't know whether to thank you or claw your eyes out. We're gonna need to work on your non-sense of humor."

"Good luck," cautioned Batman. "My butler's been trying for over twenty years."

Soon enough, they were in North Dakota. They began searching the state by air. With Catwoman surveying close-ups at some length she reported she'd seen nothing large enough to be the sister to the others in the triumvirate of oblivion.

"Aw, man," Catwoman complained, "Looks like that Shiva bitch was lying her ass off!"

"Unlikely," Batman disagreed. "Ever since she left the League of Assassins, she hasn't been involved in anything wrong except murder, and that's a part of her ancient code of honor, the warrior's way. Besides, Ra's also confirmed that he'd be here."

"Unless Shiva's back on the team and was specifically ordered to lie," said Catwoman. "In fact, that's the only way it all makes sense."

Several minutes of searching later, an explosion split the air, and the jet shivered.

"We've been hit," screamed Catwoman.

"Yes," said Batman. "And from where the sound - I'm losing control. We must have lost an engine. Don't worry. I brought parachutes."

"What if they hit us again?" asked Catwoman.

"You've been watching too many movies," said Batman. "It's hard to find skydivers. Even harder to hit them. Would you rather take your chances with a parachute or a crashing plane?" That was that. They dropped out of the plane and activated the parachutes they had strapped on.

But then they saw a helicopter flying towards them.

"I thought you said they couldn't find us," said Catwoman with a catlike growl.

"I said it was _hard_ to find us," reminded Batman. But he knew that was a inadequate explanation for the situation they were in.

As the helicopter closed in, it cast a net that contained Batman and Robin. A helicopter door opened and a woman in a pilot's suit jumped out. She was saved by the safety rope attached to her. She took aim with a sniper rifle and opened rapid fire.

Batman had not felt a thing but Catwoman had been shocked into paralysis.

"Catwoman, wake up," Batman shook her back to her senses.

"We're alive," Catwoman laughed with joy. But Batman was aware of enough to feel far from relieved.

By this point, their female captor had climbed back into the helicopter and said over a military-issue voice amplifier, "Hello, my Beloved and his... poor choice."

"You're a sore loser, Talia," taunted Catwoman. "What's wrong? Did the magic terrorist's spoiled princess just not get her way for once?"

"You have been a thorn in my father's side," said a faintly angry Talia, "But no more. I will take you home. More than that, I cannot say."

"No problem," said Catwoman. "I'll get us out of these in a jiffy."

"No," said Batman. "She didn't just shoot to scare us. If you'll look, many of the strings are gone. these parachutes won't work anymore."

"Oh," Catwoman said, disheartened. "Then that's it. We're about to be put in the dog pound even if we're not dogs."

"We can't give up that easily," said Batman with great resolve. "Billions of people are depending on us."

"I know," said Catwoman. "That's the worst part."

"I know what you're saying," nodded Batman. "Believe me. But we've been in worse spots on this mission alone. Take heart. We'll get through this."

Batman hoped so. They had to fight like there was no tomorrow because there may not have been. Whatever issues they had that made mutual trust difficult had to be put aside at all costs!

The helicopter reached the earth. Four patches of apparently synthetic grass alongside real grass opened to reveal an underground base. _No wonder we couldn't find it._

The helicopter landed. Batman and Catwoman noticed that Ra's men used scimitars, presumably because they would attract less attention than guns. Batman and Catwoman were cut out of the net but still held hostage by the swords that surrounded them.

"Yes, Father," said Talia on a communicator with a smile. "I have them." She hung up and grinned at Catwoman.

"Brent, Mohamed, Takuda, make her watch what I am about to do." These men holstered their swords so they hold Catwoman and force her to keep her eyes on Talia. Talia walked over to Batman with a sword and held it on his shoulder, sharp side facing his neck.

"No," shouted Catwoman. Instead of cutting Batman's head off, Talia kissed him.

"Oh, yes," said Talia smirking at Catwoman, who was hissing at her. She cut off Batman's belt and said, "Her weapons are clawed gloves and the whip in her holster." Her men took these away.

Soon enough, Talia's father, Ra's al Ghul, entered the room.

"Guess it's the boys' turn to talk smack," noted Catwoman.

Sure enough, Ra's asked Batman, "I will admit a grudging admiration, Detective. I could never have imagined that you would have ever escaped the trap we sprang on you in Egypt, let alone shut down two of my bases of operations. I even understand you defeated the great Lady Shiva."

"_I _beat Shiva," said Catwoman. "Not that I couldn't have if he hadn't softened her up, but..."

"Whoever deserves more credit," said Ra's, "You have done well. But it is all over. Before I recreate the world, I must ask one question: why have you done what you did? In your alter-ego, Detective, you vainly donate millions of your dollars a year to save the environment. And Ms. Kyle I understand even less. She is a victim of prejudice and the over-class's abuse of the common people. How is it possible that you do not understand what we are trying to do?"

"Because you're insane," said Batman. "Murdering people doesn't solve these problems. It only makes them worse."

"I'll break it down for you," offered Catwoman. "Saving the world by killing billions of people is bullshit. I never made it past the third grade and I can still do this math."

"Slay them," commanded Ra's.

"Father, no," Talia objected. "Without their weapons, they are no threat. We can hold them hostage. Perhaps my beloved will accept our way once it is officially the only possible way."

"I doubt it," said Ra's, "But I have no desire to see you sad in our moment of triumph."

Batman and Catwoman were taken to and locked in a room similar to a prison cell.

"I really hate Count Dracula and his Bitch," said Catwoman.

"Don't get mad," suggested Batman. "Get even."

**Ra's al Ghul's perspective:**

"Well done, my daughter," complimented Ra's.

"Not well enough enough to prevent our other bases from being destroyed," lamented Talia.

"They can be rebuilt after we are finished with the Americas," said Ra's. "The point is, the Detective may have won a few battles with us, but one does not win wars against the al Ghuls. Do you believe you can persuade him to accept you?"

"He will have little choice after today," inhaled Talia with a smile. "His world will be gone. I do expect him to be stubborn, but if there is something I have learned in two hundred forty years... it is patience."

"And the thief?" inquired Ra's.

"Thieves have no place in a perfect world," said Talia. "After all, it is perfect."

"I will delay her execution long enough for her to see a reshaped world. I do not want either of them to miss that. But it will not reshape itself. To the control room."

Ra's smiled as well as they walked together. Thousands of years' worth of work were finally paying off. Heaven as it existed in every religion was about to become reality.

**Batman's perspective:**

It was time for Catwoman to work her magic. "Hey, handsome," she said as she strutted sexily towards the guard just outside the cell.

"Don't even think about it," said the guard. But Batman could see his face weakening. Batman himself was enticed, even from a distance away.

Catwoman pressed her head and shoulder against the bars. "C'mon, the boring life of a guard needs a little excitement." She ran her now-bare right hand down his chest and stomach. He exhaled. _So far so good._

As Catwoman's right hand stole the guard's sword, the left one grabbed him by the uniform so he could not escape. "The keys, sucker," Catwoman demanded. The guard handed them over. Batman took them, opened the cell door, and knocked out the guard with a couple punches.

"Wait here," said Batman as he ran towards the guard at the door. Before he could activate his communicator, Batman slapped it away. A knee to the hip and elbow over the head took him out. Batman now had his own sword.

As Catwoman walked towards Batman, he said, "I've never understood why so many men lose control at the sight of a pretty face."

Catwoman grinned. "You have no room to talk, Batman. He wasn't a challenge, but I've been doing this to you for years. I hate to break it to you, but you're a lot easier."

Batman was anxious to talk about something else and had just the thing. "N-now that we're w-without my belt and your gloves and whip, this s-swords are all we have."

"I know," said Catwoman, "But no changing the subject."

"Do you know how to use that?" asked Batman, mentally disciplining himself again.

"Yeah," said Catwoman.

"How is it used?" asked Batman.

"The sharp side goes into the other guy after a lot of banging against the other guy's sword," said Catwoman.

"Then you've got a lot to learn," said Batman. "First, defend against my - no, that's not how you hold a scimitar. Unlike katanas and broad swords, a scimitar has a short hilt but thick blade. It's specifically meant for one-handed use. I don't see your off-hand moving."

"OK," said Catwoman defensively as she removed her left hand from the sword.

"Remember to parry," said Batman as he advanced. Catwoman swung. Batman parried her blade away, and the force of the push knocked Catwoman a few steps back and into a crouch.

"If I was a guard, you'd have literally lost your head," said Batman as Catwoman got up. "Learn to parry or you won't last five minutes."

"You don't have to be so damn critical," said a frustrated Catwoman.

"I don't love being tough," Batman repeated an epitaph he had used on Batgirl, Robin, and Nightwing. "I'm tough because I lo... defend yourself."

And for the next fifteen minutes, they trained. Catwoman's skill with the scimitar improved well enough to reach the top fifty percent of Bruce Wayne's high school fencing class. They paused as the ground began rumbling.

"What's that sound?" said Catwoman in horror.

"It's begun," Batman stated the obvious.

"Am I ready?" asked Catwoman.

_Not nearly but what choice do we have?_

"Yes," said Batman.

They charged through the next room. A few men were there. "Behind me," commanded Batman.

"Aren't I ready?" asked Catwoman. Fortunately, Batman was able to get the brunt of them to target him. He and Catwoman disarmed their opponents and delivered non-fatal wounds to disable them.

Eventually, they reached the control room. "To your quarters," said Ra's to his men as he and Talia seized their swords. The common grunts left.

"So you wish to perish with the destroyers of this once-great planet, Detective?" threatened Ra's. "Well, all you had to do was ask."

"The only thing that perishes today is your mad dream," said Batman as his sword and Ra's' clanged together.

"I have no idea what my Beloved sees in a petty thief," said Talia as she and Catwoman stared each down, looking for an opening. "But I will save him as well as the world."

"I think he could do better with me than a murderous terrorist," said Catwoman. She dodged a slash by Talia, who blocked a counterattack.

Batman knew that Catwoman was no match for Talia in a sword fight. He wanted to help, but Ra's, obviously realizing this, was driving him out of the room.

"You cannot save her, Detective," said Ra's. "But why should you? A choice between one of the planet's saviors and a common criminal is no choice at all. Your lack of judgment never ceases to amaze."

Though Batman's aristocratic education enabled him to be very skilled with a sword, Ra's seemed to be his better. Batman fell back until he felt a wall stop him.

"This is what thousands of years of experience does for you," proclaimed Ra's as he charged. Batman barely dodged the swing. Ra's' sword tip snapped and deflected off the wall into his chest.

"Let me help you," said Batman, taking off his cape to be used to stop the bleeding. Instead, Ra's thrust at his stomach, cutting through the armor. Batman groaned and fell down as he bled and covered his wound with the cape.

"We die together," smiled Ra's. "But I, victoriously." He began coughing before losing consciousness.

However, Batman now felt better. The wound must have hurt worse than it was. He took off his right glove and touched Ra's. Nerveless. Batman felt awful but at least he had tried to save Ra's.

**Catwoman's perspective:**

As Catwoman and Talia's swords wrestled together, The Princess of Plunder saw that she was losing her grip, and hopped, and rolled, away.

"A little harder than your movies make it look, eh, American?" asked Talia. She advanced. The blades clanged again. Again, Catwoman felt her grip lessen. _Maybe I should play it my way._

With a quick somersault and slash, Catwoman managed to knock Talia's weapon away. Talia was barely able to duck the follow-up slash and run to her sword, retrieving it.

Catwoman sensed that she had finally discovered the winning formula and ran, jumped somersaulted, and slashed. Talia dodged and then stopped. But Catwoman didn't. As she landed, she started running again, leaping at, and bouncing off a wall. But this time, Talia was ready, and caught The Princess of Plunder in the left shoulder.

Catwoman screamed as she clutched her bloody shoulder, and her sword was now out of reach. Before could move for it, Talia was standing directly over her with a triumphant grin.

"Look," said Catwoman. "This won't work. Batman always wins. And if you kill me, he'll never forgive you. And if I'm wrong, you'll need someone like me who can spy on potential traitors in this new world of yours."

"I knew you could not help who you are, thief," said Talia. "Die as you lived: a coward." She raised her sword up to come straight down on Catwoman's head.

Catwoman spat perfectly into Talia's left eye. This stunned her enough for Catwoman to trip her up with a log roll. Retrieving her own sword, Catwoman ran over to a half blind Talia who was up again.

Catwoman knew she had to go for the quick win while Talia was blind in an eye. She held her sword with both hands, despite the pain in her left shoulder. _No, one hand. Like Batman said. _She moved her left hand to her right wrist. This added power without compromising her hold on the scimitar. She began slashing. The half-blind Talia could only parry. On the eighth try, Talia's sword broke. Catwoman advanced.

Talia cursed in Arabic and said, "I know the difference between those who would care that they won dirty, those that do not... and those who like it. Take your blood, scum."

"If you say so," said Catwoman, winding up.

"No," said Batman, running into the room.

"Sorry you're late hero," said Catwoman with pride, "But the damsel in distress took care of herself. Ow! Shoulder could use some cleaning up, though."

As Batman dried up the wound with his right glove, Talia asked, "Where is Father."

"Dead," explained Batman. "It was an accident. I tried to save him, but he wouldn't have it."

"Sounds like him, the stubborn fool," sighed Talia. "You may have noticed his plan is in progress. Now that he is... gone, there is only one man I love. You know not how to shut down the system, but I will if you ask."

"Can we trust her?" asked Catwoman.

Instead of answering, Batman asked Talia, "Will you?" Talia walked over to the computer console and got to work. Soon enough, the tremors stopped.

"That's it?" asked Batman.

"Indeed," said Talia. "Though archaeologists may make some interesting discoveries soon."

"What now?" asked Catwoman.

"Victory is yours," said Talia with a bow. "I see no reason to kill my Beloved if my father is no longer around to order it. In fact, I will loan you a jeep with which to return to that mansion of yours."

"I'd appreciate that," said Batman. He seemed grateful, but Catwoman was most suspicious. She especially did not like Batman thanking Talia for helping them or they way they looked at each other.

_Just admit it, girl. You're jealous._

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Although Batman and Catwoman had gotten their equipment back, they had needed street clothes as well the civilians' drive back to the American Northeast that was ahead of them. Since Bruce's wallet had been destroyed with the plane, he had to borrow money from Talia for the trip. After destroying Ra's machinery, Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, and Talia walked to the jeep.

"I'll pay you back in full," promised Bruce.

"Do nothing for her," said Selina spitefully. "This was all her fault."

"You seem less than confident he loves you, thief," smiled Talia.

Once they reached the jeep, Talia said, "Beloved, I want to say goodbye to you... in private."

"Uh-uh," said Selina.

"Go," said Bruce. "She did the right thing in the end. That should count for something."

"I don't know whether to tell you to scream if you need me," grumbled Selina as she entered the passengers side, "Or that we always know when we're being cheated on."

Bruce and Talia stared at each other for minutes before Talia said, "Will you take me to the police?"

"I know I should," said Bruce. "But I won't. If nothing else, I understand your appreciation of your father. I'm sorry I couldn't save him."

"Do not be," said Talia sadly. "The thief. Is she the one?"

"She'll have to be," said Bruce.

"I do not understand," argued Talia, "Why you can forgive her for stealing and coercing you into this relationship, but you cannot forgive me for the little matter of nearly getting you killed."

"Is that a joke?" asked Bruce.

"I suppose it is in a way," said Talia. "Farewell, Beloved."

Bruce walked over to hug her, but was stopped by a honking horn. Bruce entered the jeep and drove away.

"I warned you," said Selina.


	7. Arguments

**The Hog's perspective:**

"You want a loan, huh?" asked a skeptical Becky "The Hog" Traylor.

"Yes," said The Scarecrow. "I'm seeking revenge against The Batman."

"We've been burned turnin' to you..." Al spoke, but stopped after sister Becky held her hand in front of his mouth.

"OK," said The Hog. "But Ah want 'im alive. It's none of your business. Just bring 'im to me. Remember, Ah'll expect repayment. From here or in Arkham." She wrote a check. "Or your future ain't gonna be too bright.

"Your faith in me is inspiring, my redneck friend," said Scarecrow.

"Ah ain't your friend, pissant," snapped The Hog. "Just take the check."

The Scarecrow took it and left.

"Ah hate Yankees who think they're smarter than they are," growled The Hog. "Skinny sumbitch can't even stay outta Arkham for five minutes, he wants to call us rednecks?"

"Yeah," said Al. "How come you're payin' 'im, anyway? He ain't gonna do shit."

"Maybe not," admitted The Hog, "But it's smart to play enemies of enemies against each other. Even if he don't come through, he's the one who gets caught. No-lose situation."

**The Scarecrow's perspective:**

The Scarecrow had his ear next the door and had been listening to the Traylors talk about him. _So the fat bitch and her hillbilly idiot of a brother think they're using me, do they? Just for that, they're my next targets._

**Robin's perspective:**

It was another night in the Batcave. Tim Drake had suited up to become Robin. He was ready to hit crime once again. But the person dressed up as a bat was not The Batman. He was out of the country to answer Talia al Ghul's call. It was The Batgirl that Robin would patrol with, as it had been not too long before.

On the drive to Gotham City, Robin said, "Not that the big guy's not the greatest in the world, but I'm starting to like the idea of Batgirl and Robin better than Batman and Robin."

Batgirl smiled. " He's too much of serious stick in the mud, huh? I know. There's a reason why it's Dick that Barbara Gordon likes."

Driving through a neighborhood, Batgirl and Robin found a couple of men taking a TV set out of a house. They got out and walked towards the men, who shivered and put down the TV upon seeing them.

"I know TVs aren't exactly cheap," said Batgirl, "But surely the streaming services would be a better alternative to theft."

"Don't worry," said Robin. "You'll probably get on the air on the local shows talking about the vermin that are going upriver tomorrow." The burglars charged.

Robin delivered two body blows and a hopping knee to take one out. Batgirl's two high snap kicks did the other in. Batgirl made a fist. Robin bumped it.

"That's what I was talking about," smiled Robin. Suddenly, he heard a scream in the house.

"Let's go," said Batgirl. "They'll find their TV soon enough. But we can't let them find us. We're wanted people." Robin agreed and followed Batgirl back to the Batcave.

"I really hate having to run from the very people we're helping," said Robin.

"It won't last," said Batgirl. "We'll find a way to clear our names. You'll see."

**Kalibak's perspective:**

This story takes us to a distant planet known as Apokalips and the palace of the evil tyrant, Darkseid.

"Master," said Desaad, Darkseid's top scientist and technician, "I regret to report that Superman seems to be on the verge of victory." Desaad covered his eyes, but Darkseid seemed content to merely frown. However, his son, a near 8' beast named Kalibak, roared in frustration.

"So the Kryptonian managed to find and defeat Mongul and his army of alien invaders that we had financed before they could attack Earth," realized Darkseid. "Another setback. If only New Genesis had not vowed to protect Earth. A wishful thought. We are not strong enough to conquer both planets at once."

"Allow me," said Kalibak the Cruel. "I know you cannot attack because you are our leader, Father. I can get away with it. You send me to Earth and I promise you, I will destroy Superman. Without him, Earth's morale will crumble. Before The Highfather of New Genesis realizes it, most of the national governments of Earth will surrender to Apokalips and Genesis will find that the situation has reversed!" He laughed evilly at the thought of this.

But Darkseid was skeptical. "You have always failed in the past."

"I am wise to his tricks now," promised Kalibak. "This time, the people of Earth will cry over the grave of their greatest champion."

"You have had your chances," said Darkseid. "You may yet be a part of my next plan, but that is for the future. Go. Now. Before I decide you need to be punished, young man."

Kalibak walked away in frustration. _Like he has not been failing to conquer Earth for years! _He entered his room and smashed his bed with his fists.

"Poor Kalibak," consoled an Earth accent behind him. Kalibak looked to see a scrawny man in a scarecrow costume in front of a portal.

"How are you here, human?" asked Kalibak. "Why should I not destroy you?"

"It's the portal behind me," said the human. "I managed to find a way to recreate the portals you Apokalipsians have used in the past to get to Earth quickly. It took all of my recent huge loan from the Traylor crime family but I did it. Simply a matter of coming to understand the science behind it. I am called The Scarecrow, scourge of Gotham City."

"But on Apokalips," threatened Kalibak, "You are an insect."

"Hear me out," said The Scarecrow. "You don't want to kill me. That's no challenge. But Superman? If you did that, wouldn't Darkseid be proud? Follow me to Earth. We will lure him out, I promise you!"

"I would be taking a risk in disobeying my father," said Kalibak. "What do you want, human?"

"If we destroy Superman," The Scarecrow assured him, "Darkseid will be proud of you, not angry with you. My needs are small. All I ask is that you help me destroy The Batman."

"He will be squished like the bug he is," promised Kalibak. "Along with you if you do not honor your agreement."

The Scarecrow nodded and they walked through the portal.

**The Scarecrow's perspective:**

Scarecrow and Kalibak were back in Gotham City. "I am ready when you are," said Kalibak.

"Patience," said The Scarecrow. "There's one building I specifically want you to hit above all others." He opened a rear door of his car. Kalibak entered, lying across the seats to fit his huge body inside.

Scarecrow drove towards Country Buffet, the restaurant owned by the Traylors. _This is what you get for using and disrespecting the god of fear, Traylors._

"Out," commanded The Scarecrow to Kalibak, who was all too happy to do so. "Destroy this building. But not too quickly. And leave the owners alive to suffer for the destruction of something that is sacred to them." Scarecrow howled.

**The Hog's perspective:**

The Traylor family leadership was having a meeting. "Revenues have taken a hit as of late," began the marketing expert and cousin of The Hog, Daisy Thompson. "But it shouldn't last more a week or..." she was interrupted by thumping shounds.

The Hog, Al, Daisy, Joey (son of Al), and Yuji Takahan (lawyer/accountant of the familiy) rushed downstairs to to see a monster smashing the place. Customers could be seen fleeing or driving away outside.

"Sweet mother of God," exclaimed The Hog. The reader should understand that Country Buffet was where the family's criminal empire began. It was the first business it opened in Gotham City.

"Ah got 'im," said Al, drawing a submachine gun and shooting Kalibak over a dozen times, only for him to literally laugh them off.

"Nah," The Scarecrow spoke in a mock (and lousy) southern accent. "You don't got 'im."

"You're behind this," shouted The Hog. Scarecrow nodded. Kalibak went back to smashing things.

"I know your family doesn't believe in running from your problems," said Yuji, "But my mathematical calculations say we've got to get the Hell out of here!"

"We ain't goin' nowhere," said The Hog, offended by what Yuji said. "This is our first place and we ain't lettin' it go under. Not as long as Ah'm the boss."

"Would you rather be buried under it, Aunt Becky?" asked Joey.

"Yeah, be reasonable," said Daisy.

"C'mon," Al said to the others. "We're goin'. Becky can do whatever she wants."

The Hog grunted angrily as she followed them. They were right. But if it was the last thing The Hog did, The Scarecrow and Kalibak were going to pay for this.

As Al drove them away in his car, The Hog asked, "How come you didn't try to stop me from stayin', big brother?"

"I... thought you'd be too stubborn to go," said Al. The Hog let it go. They had bigger problems.

The Traylors watched from afar as Country Buffet collapsed. The Hog knew it was coming, but when it did, it broke her.

"There, there," Al hugged her as she began crying.

"Ah'm supposed to be stronger than this," sobbed The Hog.

"Ladies are allowed to cry, so go ahead," said Al. "'You ain't got nothin' to prove, anyway. You've gone up against The Bat himself and won"

"That damn Yankee and his freak from another planet are gonna pay for this," promised The Hog. "Ah just don't know how."

"I do," said Yuji. "This will get Superman's attention."

"Will he care what they're doin' to 'scum' like us?" asked Daisy.

"He's saved murderers from dying before," nodded Yuji. "He'll come."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

"This isn't the way to Bruce's house," said Robin. They were supposed to be patrolling for the night, but Batgirl had changed directions.

"I saw a place getting demolished in the distance," explained Batgirl. "And believe me, it wasn't a construction crew. It's probably too late to do anything about it, but remember what Bruce taught you about investigating."

"'The only wrong guesses are the ones you overlook,'" Batgirl and Robin quoted together.

Soon enough, they arrived. They saw what was once known as Country Buffet, now smashed flat. The Traylor family leaders were gathered there with sacks, no doubt containing anything precious or incriminating to them. Batgirl and Robin got out of the Batmobile and headed to the wreckage.

"You know," said Batgirl, "Getting the remains is a job for FEMA."

The Traylors reacted in surprise to Batgirl and Robin. "We don't want handouts," said The Hog with a sad and broken voice. "Southern thing."

"Sure it is," said Robin sarcastically. Batgirl doubted it had anything to do with anti-government philosophy herself. There was nothing she or Robin could do about, however. The Traylors had a right to their personal property.

Before The Hog could speak, Al placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let me handle this, Sis," he said. Looking at Batgirl and Robin, he said, "My sister's had a really tough night. Send any question you got this way." He pointed a thumb at himself.

"Who did this?" asked Batgirl.

"The Scarecrow and some freak called Kalibak. Sorry Ah can't be more helpful, but Ah don't know what it is."

"I do," said Batgirl. "He's the prince of Apokalips."

"No wonder Ah couldn't hurt 'im," Al tapped his forehead in realization.

"Can you arrange distractions to keep them from destroying this city too soon?" asked Batgirl.

"Sure," affirmed Al as he picked up his phone, presumably to call hired guns. "But how the Hell are you and your boss who makes Sis all hot inside squeal gonna stop the beast?"

"We can't," said Batgirl. "But we know Superman. That's why you need to distract him."

"Ah can do that, but how do you know - wait!"

Batgirl and Robin were already on their way out. Batman would have just left him hanging, but Batgirl yelled, "No time. Just make the call."

Batgirl drove the Batmobile to a safe place. It easy to find one since The Scarecrow and Kalibak were the GCPD's highest priorities. Batgirl made the phone call.

"What's so important that you had to wake me up at bedtime for it?" demanded Lois Lane Kent. It was more than twenty minutes past midnight.

"This is Batgirl," The Dark Lady revealed herself. "Gotham City needs your husband's help." No answer.

"Than you're an outlaw now," said Lois. "In my book, that makes you the enemy. Besides, we Metropolisians didn't care for your roughness _before_ that was the case."

"Listen," said Batgirl. "Years ago, your husband was framed. Batman could have turned him in - and believe me, he had the tool to do it. But he didn't. All I ask is that Clark help us with a job bigger than us." In case the call was spied on, Batgirl avoided saying anything to reveal that Clark Kent and Superman were the same man.

Lois paused before saying, "OK. He did always tell me you were good at heart, but I'm afraid he's off-planet. I'll give you Kara's number. She's not as powerful as him but should give you a fighting chance." Since Lois was a reporter, Batgirl was not surprised that she seemed to know what was going on.

"That's all I ask," said Batgirl. "Bye."

"Now what?" asked Robin.

"Better get up high so the cavalry will see us," said Batgirl as she pushed a button to open the front shield of the Batmobile. One nice thing would be working with another woman for a change. Sure there was The Huntress, but Batgirl meant a woman, not a bitch.

**Supergirl's perspective:**

Even Supergirl took some time getting to Gotham. This gave her time to think. She had not liked being awakened to go on a mission. _But if you want to be a heroine, you have to make sacrifices sometimes._

She saw The Batgirl and Robin on a rooftop. Supergirl already knew The Batman was out of the country and would rekindle her friendship with Batgirl, but not before something more important was done.

"Supergirl," smiled Batgirl. "It's been too long."

"Good to see you again," said Robin.

"Hold it," said Supergirl, frowning and putting her hands on her hips. "Is there any truth to what your city government says about you? Are you really loose cannons?"

Batgirl and Robin went from jubilant to outraged. "I thought we were friends," said Batgirl.

"I'd love to think so," said Supergirl. "And I'd be willing to give you the benefit of doubt in light of the past, but by looking around with telescopic vision, I know for a fact that Batman is traveling with the notorious thief known as The Catwoman."

"That's impossible," insisted Robin. "He said he was going alone."

"Robin," said Batgirl, "His judgment's God-awful when it comes to Catwoman. I'll have a talk with Batman."

"Not so fast," said Supergirl. "Are you on the level or not?" as she spoke, she secretly turned on her x-ray vision.

"Yes," said Batgirl and Robin. Their heartbeats maintained a consistent pattern.

"That's all I needed to know," said Supergirl. She opened her arms. Batgirl hesitated before walking over and hugging her.

"Put your arms around my neck," suggested Supergirl. "No offense, but I can get you around faster than your Batmobile, and we can't wait any longer." Batgirl and Robin did not object.

The three went to the wreckage of Country Buffet. "The beast and his mangy keeper ain't caused much more trouble, thanks to our men," said Al Traylor, the one gangster who was still there. "But Ah really think you better leave this to the grownups."

"First of all," said Batgirl. "Let's get one thing straight. Except for Robin, we are grownups. Second, we're what you've got. Batman and Superman are out of town. And no, it's none of your business. Where are Kalibak and The Scarecrow?"

"Northeast of here," directed Al, pointing to the direction. "You kids are outta your league, but Ah guess you got the best chance if Bats and Supes really are gone for the moment. Good luck!"

Supergirl flew the other two northeast and frowned. "He just said, 'They'll need it' because he doesn't think any of us have Super Hearing. What a dick!"

"You don't know how big a dick," laughed Robin.

They finally spotted The Scarecrow and Kalibak. Actually, it was not difficult once they were in position because the police were shooting at Kalibak, to no avail. _No! They're sacrificing their lives for nothing._

Descending to the ground, Supergirl said to Batgirl and Robin. "Better hide. You don't want the police to see you." With that, she super sped her way on top of one of the police car. "Thanks for trying, but this is too big for you."

An overweight detective said, "You expect us to abandon our duty on yer say-so?"

"Be reasonable, Bullock," disagreed Detective Bullock's partner. "This is one of the Superpeople from Metropolis and that beast is her department."

"I guess so, Montoya," sighed Bullock. "Move out!" The police left Supergirl to brave Kalibak and Scarecrow alone.

"You're not supposed to be here," Supergirl reminded Kalibak, despite knowing that he and the rest of Darkseid's minions were always seeking any excuse they could to attack Earth.

"I'm responsible for his appearance, Supergirl," said The Scarecrow. "The terrifying Scarecrow at your service."

"Forgive me if I don't scream," said Supergirl.

"I wanted Superman himself," complained Kalibak.

"Cheer up," Supergirl gave Kalibak a challenging smile. "I can handle anything he can. He's taken you down a million times. I'm ready for my first."

Kalibak went from disappointed to roaring and charging. But he was too angry to not to be sloppy. Supergirl smiled. _This won't take long. _She flew up to dodge a punch, then came down hard on Kalibak with both fists!

Supergirl rained two more punches on a fallen Kalibak's head. "Had enough?" A punch that knocked Supergirl several meters away was her answer. Kalibak advanced more slowly. Still crudely, but less so.

Supergirl, punched again, but her wrist was caught. She grunted in pain and astonishment at how strong the monster was. Had he enough sense to twist the arm, it might have broken. A punch decked Supergirl, and a few kicks further hurt her. A stomp did more damage and destroyed the street below them, knocking them down into the subway tunnel below them.

"Some replacement," mocked Kalibak. Supergirl realized then that with her powers still years away from full potential, she was no match for Kalibak in a pure brawl. Her only hope was to use her small size. And maybe speed, but for all she knew, Kalibak was as much faster as he was stronger.

Supergirl quickly jolted her head forward to smack Kalibak in the gut, surprising him. Wrapping her arms around him, Supergirl flung Kalibak behind her hard onto the ground. Supergirl flew and punched at Kalibak as fast as she could. She actually managed six punches before Kalibak could retaliate. _So he's not that fast. Just have to keep the pace up and I've got him but just to make sure..._

"Come on," taunted Supergirl. "I prefer men who don't force me to forget all my dancing lessons." Kalibak roared again. _That's right, dunce. Get mad!_

Kalibak threw three punches, all of which Supergirl easily dodged. An opening appeared to Supergirl so hit as hard and precisely as she could. Kalibak stepped away as blood slid down his left nostril. "C'mon, Kalibak. Get it together. What would daddy Darkseid think if he knew you were getting beat by a girl?"

This time, Kalibak seemed more afraid than angry. Like a man who had been beaten many times and was finally questioning if it was ever going to change.

"We'll always beat you and the scum bucket you call 'Dad,'" vowed Supergirl. Kalibak cried out in anguish until he heard the sound of a train in the distance. Kalibak's eyes widened at that, and he hopped backwards many times until he was on the tracks.

"We can't fight there," said Supergirl. "There's a train full of people on the way."

"Gnats," Kalibak grinned sadistically.

"You coward," said Supergirl. Her rural upbringing taught her that attacking those who could not defend themselves was one of the lowest acts you could commit. But what could she do about it but fight Kalibak on his own terms? She charged at Kalibak and delivered several punches. She hoped that would be enough, because she did not need to be toe-to-toe with this monster for long.

Punches to the stomach, right cheek, and left shoulder disillusioned and decked her. Kalibak picked her up and headbutted her twice. Supergirl felt groggy, but noticed the bright light of the train.

"Please, spare them," begged Supergirl. She was thrown into a vending machine on the concrete floor a bit above. The machine was broken in half, and Supergirl thought the tunnel was spinning. _No, don't get dizzy. Not now._

Kalibak stood besides a beaten Supergirl and asked, "Where are your taunts now, Kryptonian girl?"

"Bite me," said Supergirl courageously. Kalibak actually did just that to her left forearm, causing her to scream. Was this her fate? To be eaten by this creature?

Instead, Kalibak picked Supergirl up and jumped right back to the surface with her. "I did it," Kalibak boasted to The Scarecrow.

"In the ugliest and dirtiest way," Supergirl reminded Kalibak. He began choking The Girl of Steel.

"We have better things to do than to hear you cry," said Kalibak.

"Let her go," said Scarecrow. "I, for one, want very much to see her cry. Let's see if she's immune to fear gas."

Supergirl was. Not that it would do her much good.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

"Uh-oh," said Batgirl. "Supergirl's in trouble. We've gotta step in."

"But if she couldn't beat 'em," worried Robin, "What chance do we have?"

"I don't know," Batgirl had to admit, "But if you're gonna be a hero, you've got to do crazy things every once in a while. Get your Batgrapple. No, don't waste time asking what good it'll do. Get to one side and prepare to hit him in the cranium." The plan was that while Batgirl and Robin had no way to physically harm Kalibak, he looked like a mutant lion. That may have meant that he had cat-like senses. Senses that could, perhaps, be overloaded by a sharp impact on the skull.

They were soon facing Kalibak from opposite sides. "Now," cried Batgirl. Both Batgrapples shot at the same time. Kalibak was hit by both and groaned in pain as he stepped back a few steps before falling down. Batgirl's plan had worked.

"Stop playing around," said Scarecrow as he checked on Kalibak.

"Shut up, human gnat," retorted Kalibak.

Meanwhile, Batgirl and Robin were holding Supergirl tight. Batgirl used her own Batgrapple on a distant lampost to get them a distance away. They ducked into an alley, hid in a dumpster, and buried themselves in the trash.

"Thanks," said Supergirl. "I'm really sorry I failed you. I'd have won, but he forced me to fight him toe-to-toe by threatening to wreck a train."

"You tried," Batgirl consoled her. "And it's never over until it's over. I've learned that the hard way."

"Who is the coward now?" asked Kalibak. He opened the dumpster, but not seeing the heroes of the world, he seemed to shut the door. Batgirl sighed in relief.

"Uh-oh," whispered a still groggy Supergirl. "I can hear him sniffing. And now he's coming back."

"It's my aftershave," a frightened Robin squirmed.

"I didn't know you were old enough to shave," said Batgirl. _Yeah, make that the last thing you ever say to him, Babs!_

Supergirl made a very convincing "Meow" sound.

"Just a stinking cat," said Kalibak disappointingly.

Several minutes passed. "He's gone," said Supergirl. "Let's get out of this pigsty." They did.

"Where'd you learn to sound like a cat?" asked Robin.

"I love cats," explained Supergirl.

"I don't," said Batgirl. "It's a long - argh!" She felt a drug-tipped dart hit her in the face; she dropped to her knees and felt sick.

"Batgirl," cried Robin, checking on her.

"Move," commanded Batgirl. "Before you..." Robin was darted as well. "Get the same."

Pretty soon, the physically imposing, red-haired bounty hunter named The Fox came into view. "I knew you couldn't resist going after those other two bastards," he said. "Blondie, I've got no beef with you, so let me collect on the other two's bounties, and go."

"I can't do that," said Supergirl, now able to stand, although with difficulty. "Go away."

The Fox stared at Supergirl for a few seconds before saying, "You don't live here. You won't always be able to protect them."

"Surely I'm not stopping you from getting your bounty, right, big boy?" challenged Supergirl.

"I know you want to provoke me so you can put me in jail," smirked The Fox. "Forget it. I'm not stupid. We ain't meeting again. The Bat and Bird? Different story."

"What are you waiting for?" asked Batgirl.

"I'm not going after him if that's what you mean," said Supergirl.

"You're not?" asked a shocked Batgirl.

"I'm sorry," explained Supergirl, "But there's an arrest order for you so bounty hunters have every right to come after you. I tried to get him to attack me so I could bring him in for assault. He didn't."

"You mean you have to let him get away with this?" asked Robin. Supergirl nodded.

"I can't believe what choirboys you folks are," protested Batgirl.

"First of all," said Supergirl, "I'm not a boy or for that matter, a girl. Second, maybe if your team didn't cross so many lines, people wouldn't be so afraid of you."

"Easy for you to say," said Batgirl. "You don't have to worry about a bullet or knife."

"Oh, I can think of a few unnecessarily extreme measures you take," said Supergirl with a pinch of anger. "We're loved because we don't try to scare everyone, unlike you. Besides, have you checked the stats? Metropolis has much less crime than Gotham."

"It doesn't have the scum Gotham is," Batgirl defended herself.

"Calling them scum isn't going to make them do what's right," pressed her case. The heroines were now staring hard at each other.

"Ladies," said Robin, "You've both got good points, but we've got a job to do."

"Not now," said Batgirl. "We've all been weakened. We need a rest."

"In the meantime," frowned Supergirl, "Kalibak and The Scarecrow are gonna cause more trouble."

"Be reasonable," said Robin, "We can't take 'em in this condition."

"I can," said Supergirl.

"Don't make me stop you," threatened Batgirl.

"Try," dared Supergirl.

"Thanks for the permission," smiled Batgirl. _You survivors of Krypton's explosion are so disgustingly moral as to make it hard to not punch you in the face. I'll try not to enjoy this too much._ She whipped a rock of Kryptonite out of her belt. Supergirl groaned in pain for several seconds before trying and failing to fly away.

"Promise to rest?" asked Batgirl.

"Fine, you cold-hearted fascist," said Supergirl.

"Better than a naive, holier than thou, dreamer," retorted Batgirl. She put the Kryptonite back away.

A few hours later, Batgirl said, "I think we're well enough." It was true. She felt much better. Supergirl and Robin seemed to have recovered as well.

"About time," said Supergirl. "Arms around my neck." Batgirl and Robin did so, and Supergirl flew them around. They soon found Kalibak and The Scarecrow again.

"OK," said Batgirl. "Here's the plan..."

**The Scarecrow's perspective:**

"Klutz," shouted The Scarecrow.

"You were the one who refused to immediately kill Supergirl," growled Kalibak.

"Do not question your vast intellectual superior," said Scarecrow. "You were bamboozled by people infinitely weaker than you. Don't dare match wits with me."

"You are not so smart to insult I," said Kalibak, clenching his fists.

"Go ahead," dared The Scarecrow. "You won't know this place well enough to find Superman and Supergirl before Darkseid finds out you're here and punishes you."

Kalibak groaned like a beaten dog. A pleased Scarecrow laughed to himself at how he had tamed Kalibak the Cruel.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl had pulled a few crazy stunts in her time, but this had to take the cake.

Batgirl felt encouraged by how unhappy The Scarecrow and Kalibak looked with each other. "Hey," The Dark Lady shouted at Kalibak. "You, ugly! Yeah! Come get some! Your choice of what that something is." Kalibak growled and walked towards Batgirl.

_He's taking the bait and walking towards me. Back away. No sudden moves. Don't want him using his speed or it's all over._

Batgirl stopped. "Uh-uh," she said. "What am I doing?"

"Realizing how stupid you have been?" laughed Kalibak as he continued walking towards Batgirl. "It is too late. We Apokalipsians are not gentlemen. All prey are equal in being crushed and splattered.

_OK, Babs, this is either the smartest thing you've ever done, or the dumbest. Be ready, Robin._

Once Kalibak came within two and a half meters of Batgirl, two battering rams suspended above the air on ropes moved towards Kalibak, each hitting him in the skull. He was not even scratched, but his hyper-active cat reflexes were overloaded by the heavy impact in the skull. He screamed in pain as a result and held his skull. Robin came out from under a nearby car.

Batgirl and Robin used Batarangs to cut down the battering rams, and continued striking Kalibak in the skull with them by hand.

Batgirl was surprised that Supergirl had not captured The Scarecrow by now to be used to distract Kalibak. But this mission could still be completed. Batgirl and Robin continued began Kalibak in the cranium with the battering rams. He screamed louder and louder as the pain he was feeling from his overloaded senses intensified. Finally, he fell unconscious. In truth, this had not hurt him, but there was more than one way to skin a monster cat.

"Great plan," said Robin, holding up his hand. Batgirl slapped it.

"Bet Batman doesn't go for that," said Batgirl. "Let's check on Supergirl."

**Supergirl's perspective:**

Supergirl could not believe she let Batgirl talk her into this. This was very risky, although it could conceivably have worked. Regardless, she had promised to cooperate, so after Kalibak was a great distance away from The Scarecrow, Supergirl descended right front of him. For some reason, Scarecrow held a violin.

"I know you think you have outsmarted The Scarecrow," said Scarecrow, "But think again." He played a remarkably sour tune. Supergirl's hearing became her enemy; her ears hurt like Hell.

"Like they say," cackled The Scarecrow. "Music can tame the savage beast. Or beauty. Because you're both.

Supergirl collapsed to her knees and elbows. Not hands. They were vainly covering her ears. "Stop, please," she pleaded.

"If you think I'm stopping," said Scarecrow, "You're even more of a dumb blonde than you look!"

Straining her muscles and will, Supergirl aligned her face with the violin.

The Scarecrow laughed. "I know you costumed cop wannabes don't kill. I could never have survived as a high school nerd if I didn't know how to deal with pain."

Supergirl blew some freeze breath at the violin's strings and bow, freezed them solid and together. "Who... said anything about... heat vision?"

Scarecrow ran. Supergirl slowly got up, super sped in front of Scarecrow, and finger-flicked him out. She held her ears in pain and dropped back down to her knees.

Batgirl and Robin came by. "I see he almost overcame your powers with intelligence like we did Kalibak," said Batgirl.

"Better than intelligence are self-esteem and determination," smiled Supergirl. "Oh, no." She pointed to where Kalibak lay unconscious. A portal had opened up. Darkseid was picking up and carrying Kalibak towards it.

"Looks like Darkseid is taking his spoiled rotten son home," said Robin.

"I can't do anything about that," sighed Supergirl. "My ears hurt too much. But knowing Darkseid, his boy's gonna wish we still had him."

**Kalibak's perspective:**

A punch to the face awakened Kalibak. "Father?"

"Unfortunately, I am," said Darkseid harshly. "I told you to wait for new orders. And then I find that you let an inferior human command you."

"I did it for you," said Kalibak, knowing that there was nothing he could say to help his case. "I thought if I could destroy Superman, you would be proud of me."

"That is true," said Darkseid contemptuously. "But instead you were defeated by two of the insects of Earth." He blasted Kalibak with the Omega Effect.

Kalibak began screaming. "Father, please!"

"You have not begun to beg," declared Darkseid.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

It was sunrise.

"All's well that ends well," said Robin, smiling. But neither Batgirl nor Supergirl were feeling nearly as happy.

"I know when you called me," said Supergirl, "We agreed to play a little Monopoly, but..."

"I don't feel like it either," Batgirl also changed her mind. "Maybe over the weekend."

"Maybe," said Supergirl. "Up, up, and away!" On that note, she flew away, waving goodbye. Batgirl and Robin did the same.

"You OK?" asked Robin.

"Not really," said Batgirl. "Don't worry. It was just an argument between friends, that's all. What really concerns me is what Supergirl told us about Batman."

Batgirl frowned. She really hoped Supergirl's powers were not as great as they were said to be. Because otherwise, The Dark Knight really had lost his mind,

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle lay together in a bed not eighty miles away from Wayne Manor.

"I told you my shoulder felt better," said Selina, referring to the shoulder that had been cut by Talia al Ghul days ago. "Thanks for trusting me. You're a great boyfriend."

"A great boyfriend would have made sure it was healed before he let you get going," said Bruce. "But I've never thought of myself as much of a family man."

"Yet you've got a family of a sort," noted Selina.

"If there's one thing I am," explained Bruce, "It's adaptable."

"Let's hope the others are as well," said Selina.

The next afternoon, they returned to Wayne Manor. Bruce had arranged for Tim to be there. Not Barbara. Bruce felt she would take this the hardest and wanted it gently.

"Well," said Tim, "This is a bit of a shock, but I don't think you're all bad, Selina. You've done good from time to time. And I guess if the big guy vouches for you, you're all right."

Selina smiled and patted Tim on the head. "You're a scholar and a gentleman."

"When I suggested that you find a lady who you have certain things in common," said Alfred, only a bit uneasily, "This is not what I had in mind. But I do see good in Madam Selina."

"Thanks," said Selina, "But don't call me Madam."

"It is no problem," said Alfred. "I have great respect for my employers, so..."

"No," interrupted Selina. "I don't mean you don't have to. I mean I don't want you calling me that like I'm some kind of aristocrat. It makes me uncomfortable. But not too uncomfortable for this." She grabbed Bruce from behind.

"OK," said Tim. "I think now's the time to take me home, Alfred."

"Smart boy," said Selina. "Question is, what's the Baby Bat gonna say?"

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

"Over my dead body," thundered an incensed Barbara Gordon in her apartment. Bruce apparently trying to soften her up with small talk before hitting him with the woman he called a girlfriend had not worked on Barbara.

"That's not a problem," said Selina, crossing her eyes.

"Ladies, I think you're both..." Bruce he stopped when Barbara put an open palm directly in front of his face.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm overreacting," said Barbara. "God damn it, Bruce, this is a thief who once betrayed us to the mercy of the Traylors."

"You know a life was at stake," Selina reminded Barbara.

"So you took the coward's way out," said Barbara. "Listen, Bruce, she's using you. And don't even think I'll take that leverage she had over you as anything but an excuse. She wouldn't be free today if you didn't have this screwed-up in the head crush on her."

"If I were the true villainess you think me to be," said Selina, "I'd be whipping him into the life I used to lead. And believe me, I could."

"I think that may be the first truly honest thing that I've ever heard come out of your mouth," said Barbara, glaring at Bruce. "Bruce... I didn't want to believe Supergirl when she said she saw Batman and Catwoman traveling together abroad, but now that I know she was right, you need to give me one good reason why I shouldn't attack Selina and if you get in the way, you too!"

"It's on, spoiled Bat princess," Selina challenged.

"No rash actions," Bruce quickly tried without success to calm the mutually-loathing women down. She helped me save the world."

"It may be a reason," said Barbara, more than unconvinced, "But it's not good. If she were the woman for you, she wouldn't have blackmailed you."

"True," Bruce admitted with his hands held up defensively. "But despite that, she came through for me in the end."

"I was much more help than Batgirl would've been," boasted Selina. Barbara was irritated.

"Listen," said Bruce. "Here's the deal. We'll give her one chance to redeem herself. Selina's my responsibility. She gets into trouble, we'll nail her."

"Oh, no," Barbara refused. "I'll give her a chance, but I'm afraid I can't trust you to keep an eye on her. I'll do it. From now on, either Alfred or me have to watch anything you do together, aside from sex. She so much as speeds and I'm taking her down. And when it comes to that, don't get in the way or you can be her cellmate. Don't argue; this is as far as I will go. You're excused."

Bruce and Selina left. No more words were exchanged. Barbara thought. She knew that Kyle would never give up stealing, but proof that she was still a criminal would be needed. But Barbara would get that proof.

She just hoped that Batman and Batgirl would not end up on different sides this time.

**Jonathan Crane's perspective:**

Being an archcriminal was overrated. Jonathan Crane, The Scarecrow had spent this period of his life returning to the horrors of high school, where poor Jonathan Crane, would be pranked and ridiculed as "nerd" and, more ironically, "scarecrow" by the gorgeous girls, cool kids, and athletes of Gotham High. Instead of being feared, Jon was fearing all too often. But that beat spending most of his time in a padded cell.

A few days after returning to Arkham Asylum, Jonathan got a visit in his cell. "Go away," he said.

"It's a letter for you," the messenger ignored him.

Taking the envelope, Jon shouted, "Gimme that!" The messenger got the message and shut the cell door quickly. Jon read the letter.

_I owe you one, so I'll help you outta there. Look for the signs of loose flooring._

Jon looked around. There was a square of dirt surrounding what it made look like a block of concrete. A little fiddling and Scarecrow was able to remove the bunch of flooring surrounded by dirt. Not only that, it seemed that someone had been tunneling. Jon had no idea who had done this, but this was too good to pass up! He crawled through the underground tunnel.

After hours of crawling, he finally, saw a hole. He returned to the surface through it and saw an overweight person whose identity was concealed by a cap with a rooster logo on it.

"Thanks," said Jon. "I owe you one."

The "man" looked Jon in the eye to reveal a woman: Becky "The Hog" Traylor. "Weren't nothin'," she laughed. "As much as Ah hate those damn Clemson Tigers for beatin' the shit out of my South Carolina Gamecocks every year, they're too far away to pay back, unlike you. Plus, you did way worse to my family."

"The alien idiot and I destroyed your first Gotham business," Jon realized exactly what was going on with a smirk. "You're angry, aren't you?" He certainly was not afraid of a fat woman.

"So much more than when Clemson follows up that beat-down of Carolina by winnin' the National Championship," said The Hog. "You made me way worse than that. Ah don't think you deserve the nice treatment the gub'ment gives the nuts."

Jon decided now was a time to silence The Hog with a kick to the gut. The Hog did not feel it. In fact, it left Jon on his side and clutching his ankle in pain.

"When are they gonna learn that Ah got a lotta muscle down there?" asked The Hog, lifting Jon to a stand, wrapping her arms around him, pulling her arms against his back, and pushing her breast and gut against Jon's own.

Jon grunted in pain. "L-let's make a deal. I've got things I want to do. Please!"

"Ah know," said The Hog. "Little Bat, as Ah call him, beats you at the scary game." She sighed dreamily. "You don't wanna die without doin' away with your little brother complex, do you?"

"No wonder you like him," said Jon. "You're both bullies."

"No," disagreed The Hog. "Bullyin' is destroyin' a place of sentimental value to me just 'cause you can't stand one Southern family in Gotham City. So don't worry. Ah ain't killin' you. How could Ah make your life miserable? But first, to break your back and scatter your ribs without killin' you."

The Hog closed her eyes as if she was concentrating. The pressure on Jon radically increased, but not without limit. Before long, spine and ribs were breaking. Jon was allowed to fall down, disabled and in pain.

"You OK, little man?" asked The Hog as she looked down on Jon. "Aw, you'll make it. Ah'll call the hospital. Now you're gonna spend three years to forever in a bed, knowin' you can't ever, _ever_ get revenge on Little Bat. But if Ah ever get his heart or head, Ah'll let you know."


	8. Bat-Sense is Going Crazy!

**Detective Harvey Bullock's perspective:**

One of Gotham city's best, least conventional, tactless, and arguably rude detectives was spending his after-hours in his usual bar (where Bullock's services to the city guaranteed him at least three beers before he had to start paying) when he saw Commissioner Ronald Studge drinking with joy.

Bullock walked over to and sat next to Studge. "What you so happy about, Commish?"

"I can't tell a Bat-supporter," said Studge. "Not that I want to lose you as an officer. It's just that this isn't for your ears."

_Somethin' a pro-Batman guy, even a cop, can't know? Gotta be real important an' even more interestin'. _"As much as I love Jim," lied Bullock, "I think you're an' even better Commish. Lemme buy you a drink."

"Get in line," said a suspicious Studge. And rightfully suspicious; Bullock had wanted to punch Studge in the nose for months.

"Bartender," Bullock made a better offer. "Two o' the Russian shit."

"That's very kind of you, Bullock," Studge skeptically accepted the gift. "But I can't say. OK, since you bought me a drink, I'll say just this: it'll be the biggest bust in city history!" They drank. This was an interesting story. Bullock was determined to hear it. He only hoped his money held out.

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

"Why were you yelling at each other?" demanded Bruce in his den. Barbara Gordon and Selina Kyle had gotten into an argument that had gotten out of hand

"Selina couldn't take justifiable suspicion," said Barbara.

"I don't know what lies you've been telling Bruce, but 'I'm gonna get you someday' isn't my idea of justifiable," Selina disagreed.

"She raised her voice first," shouted Barbara.

"She was supposed to give me a chance," screamed Selina.

"Shut up," commanded Bruce. "You're both at fault. You have to learn to co-exist. And if you ladies want to stay on this team, you will."

"To think I'd end up the mature one," said Tim.

"That was uncalled for," warned Bruce, "Or you'll get punished as well. I believe in learning from your mistakes, not having them rubbed in. Understand?"

"Sorry," said Tim, looking ashamed.

"Don't apologize to me," Bruce said, pointed to the ladies.

**Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:**

The next morning, Freeman and Detective Renee Montoya had been waiting in Freeman's office. Detective Bullock had messaged them to wait for them.

Bullock arrived minutes late, looking tipsy. "Fifty bucks say he won't make it to your desk," said Montoya."

"Hey," snapped Bullock.

"You're on," laughed Freeman. "Over here Bullock." Bullock reluctantly lurched forward, but fell halfway to the desk.

"I win," giggled Montoya as she helped Bullock up.

"Seriously," said Freeman as he wrote a check for Montoya, "I can't believe you actually drank before work, Bullock."

"Even I'm not that far gone," insisted Bullock. "This is from last night. It took a lotta booze to get Studge to spill even better shit."

"What better shit?" asked Freeman.

"He's got a way to catch The Bat-Freak," explained Bullock.

"You got blasted for that?" asked Montoya. "He's been trying to do this since he first got the job."

"It's different this time," said Bullock. "He said he's got a way to find Bat-Freak. And it ain't no bluff. I swear on my badge."

"Calm down and explain," said Freeman softly, suddenly very worried. He knew Batman and his allies were not the loose cannons that the Mayor and Commissioner thought of them to be, so this interested him greatly.

"He said he's got a big place east o' here with a sensor array," continued Bullock. "It draws power from every cell phone in this city. Within the week, he'll find Bat-Freak's fortress."

Freeman missed a beat upon hearing this.

**Batman's perspective:**

"Are you sure you're up to this?" a not yet suited up Batman asked Selina Kyle. She was tired from having done Alfred's work for the day.

"Not really," huffed Selina. Bruce, Barbara, and Tim went downstairs to the Batcave.

But after they left the chamber with their suits on, they saw Catwoman, who said, "I changed my mind."

"You pretended to be tired?" asked Batman.

Catwoman nodded.

"Why the deception?" asked Batman.

"'Cause it's fun," said Catwoman. Batman was not amused.

"You're not making me any less suspicious," warned Batgirl.

"I don't know," said Robin. "I think it's kinda funny."

"If I may be so bold," interjected Alfred, "So do I."

"Three against two," noted Catwoman. Batman and Catwoman entered the Batmobile and drove into Gotham City.

They drove up to a crackhouse. "Gonna be odd smashing up this place," said Catwoman.

They barged through the windows and began attacking the drug dealers. Because pure drug dealers were often pure salesmen, these were easy pickings.

When all the criminals were unconscious or in extreme pain, Batman noticed that Catwoman had wounded many with her claws.

"Gonna have to call an ambulance as well as the police," Batman noted. Catwoman smiled proudly. Batman's hope of molding her into a true heroine was not entirely successful so far.

Suddenly, a door opened. In came Bullock and Montoya.

"We had a feelin' we'd find..." At the sight of Catwoman, Bullock and Montoya drew their guns and pointed at Catwoman, who ran into the shadows cast by a set of interconnected tables.

"She's changed," explained Batman. "She's on the right side of the law now." Still, Batman gave Catwoman a look telling her to stand by for trouble.

"She's what?" asked Montoya. "Don't get me wrong. You tell me Bigfoot exists, I'll believe you, but she's wanted."

"Ferget it," said Bullock. "We got bigger things ta worry about. Thanks to o' little negotiatin' with the feds fer more money an' a little dirty politics that hid it from the media, that dumbass Mayor finally got a sensor array through the City Council fer $23 billion dollas."

"Our tax dollars at work," said Batman. "All the things $23 billion could've been spent on, and he chose me. I'm honored."

"_This _is why I was so reluctant to reform and fight for this society," said Catwoman. Batman wanted to argue, but did not at the sight of the rebellious Bullock shaking his head.

"Here's a map o' the state," said Bullock, handing it over to Batman. "It'll show ya the buildin' east o' town where the sensor array is. It's powered by harnusslin'..."

"Harness, Bullock," corrected Batman.

"_Harnessin' _the power o' cell phones," said Bullock with frustration.

"So what help can we expect from you cops?" asked Catwoman.

"You've already gotten it," said Montoya. "The place is run by officers, lab workers, and scientists of Gotham. We can't turn against them."

"You've already turned against them," said Catwoman. "Or I'd argue the other way around. Point is, you've tipped us off. You're traitors to the force. This middle ground is all bullshit."

"Fine words from a thief," snapped an angry Bullock.

"If I'm wrong," Catwoman pressed her point, "Why get bent out of shape about it."

Bullock and Montoya seemed to be rethinking this, but Batman said to Catwoman, "Let it go. We've all we need thanks to them. Thank you, Detectives." Bullock and Montoya left.

"You know," said Catwoman, "For such a tough and smart guy, you are so naive. So naive."

"Maybe," admitted Batman, "But they're taking a great risk in helping us. I just don't feel like asking any more of them."

Returning to the Batmobile, Batman picked up its phone as he drove it to call Batgirl and Robin.

"Hello?" asked Batgirl.

"Drop what you're doing and get back to the Batcave," said Batman. "Something big's come up."

"Let me guess," said Batgirl. "It's about Catwoman."

"She'll be involved in this," said Batman, "But believe it or not, it's much worse than that."

In the Batcave, The Dark Knight had the other three sitting in chairs in front of him.

"This is how it'll work," explained Batman. "The sensor array will be operational soon, maybe tonight. But we can't allow that to happen. We destroy the equipment."

"I don't mean to sound negative," said Robin, "But what if they just build another one tomorrow?"

"We're polarizing, not unpopular," Batman pointed out. "They had to pull some political stunts to get the Washington money _and _have it devoted to precisely this. We shut down the array, they'll be hard-pressed to get the political capital to pull this off, especially if the press gets wind of it."

"Hard-pressed?" asked an incredulous Catwoman. "You're hanging our freedom on that?"

"I knew she couldn't take the pressure," said Batgirl. "We can't get hysterical or we'll never pull it off."

"While I don't agree with her tone," said Robin, "She's right, Catwoman."

"Indeed," nodded Batman. "We'll split up for this bout of sabotage. Robin is with me. The ladies are together."

Batgirl and Catwoman groaned. That made Batman even more sure that he mad made the right decision. They needed to learn to work together, if that was at all possible.

On the drive to the facility at which the sensor array was to happen, Robin said, "Reality check. How do we get into a heavily armed government building being spotted? Catwoman's the only one of us that stealthy."

"I always have a plan," said Batman. Sure enough, they wound up wearing the clothes of workers of the pizza parlor Roman Legions over their suits. Robin held three pizzas while Batman spoke to someone at the front gate making it difficult to enter, let alone without drawing attention.

"I didn't order any pizzas," said a guard, walking up to his side of the gate.

The unmasked but disguised Batman seized the guard by the head and slammed him into the gate.

"Out of shape," said Robin. "That's what he gets for eating pizza too often."

"Hurry up the gate," said Batman. He knew it would not take long for someone to find the unconscious guard. Batman and Robin climbed up the gate and slid to the ground. One obstacle down. who knew how many to go?

**Batgirl's perspective:**

The Batgirl absolutely hated this. She was certain that The Catwoman would betray the rest of the team sooner or later. Batman was the frog. Catwoman was the scorpion. But now Batgirl was teamed with her. Batgirl knew that it would be difficult for Catwoman to kill her without ending whatever she was pulling on Batman, but in a heavily armed facility, there would be ways.

Batgirl stopped her Batcycle a good distance away from the place. Because Batman and Robin were trying to enter through the front, Batgirl and Catwoman were taking the rear.

"Go," said Batgirl.

"You don't trust me?" asked Catwoman sarcastically.

"I hate you," declared Batgirl.

"You're gonna make me cry," grinned Catwoman. She walked on ahead. They climbed up the fence. There were patrolling Army soldiers everywhere.

"Hard to get through them without a tank," Batgirl realized.

"Not that hard to the best thief in the world," said Catwoman.

"I see you're as modest as you are honest," noted Batgirl. For more than minute, neither of them said anything. "Why are we waiting?" Batgirl finally demanded to know.

"For a hole in the patrols to open up," answered Catwoman. "And have a little patience, kid. Good things come to those who wait."

After a few more minutes, Catwoman said, "Now!" She began climbing down the fence on the other side.

Batgirl had doubts that all the guards' backs would be turned for long. But after Catwoman, climbing down, said, "I'll tell the guys what a fraidy-bat you were," The Dark Lady followed, but on the run to the facility's wall, she feared that Catwoman would make a sound to expose her as she climbed up the wall by herself. Instead, she clinging by her claws to wall, waiting for Batgirl.

"Didn't lose your guts," said Catwoman when Batgirl arrived. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Not as pleasant as you not tipping them off," Batgirl expressed her own surprise.

"Grab onto my waist," said Catwoman. "I'll get us up."

"I can do it myself," promised Batgirl. _Like I'm letting you drag me up._

"No," said Catwoman. Batgirl drew her Batgrapple anyway, but put it back after Catwoman added, "It's too loud, you idiot! They'll hear." So a reluctant Batgirl rode Catwoman to a window.

Catwoman extracted a segment of the window with her claws so Batgirl could open it from outside. They entered. It was an office. Obviously, whoever worked here had gone home for the day. Batgirl put her hand on the knob of the door out of there when Catwoman slapped it off.

"You're hopeless," said Catwoman. "These aren't grunts we're dealing with this time. These Army guys. First sign of trouble, they sound the alarm and maybe call in reinforcements from a base. And you wonder why I call you 'Bratgirl.'"

"What's your plan?" asked Batgirl.

"Watch and learn, little girl," said Catwoman. "One side of the door. Ready your Batgas." They were on opposite sides. Catwoman called in a disguised voice. "Ow!"

Two soldiers entered the room. Before they realized what had happened, Batgirl and Catwoman had knocked them out with Asian nerve holds from behind. Batgirl tied them together while Catwoman removed all of their communicating equipment.

"I have to admit," said Batgirl. "We're doing good as a team."

"Wrong," said Catwoman. "_I'm _doing good. You have to have your wing held. Kinda like your has-been dad."

"At least I don't have reason to believe he's ashamed of me," said Batgirl, knowing that Catwoman may have had an unpleasant experience with the spirits of her own. "By the way, I've got truth serum. It'll probably get us some answers from them." Catwoman said nothing as Batgirl injected it into both soldiers.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and Robin had ambushed the two door guards and entered. They sneaked around the facility, avoiding sight of the guards.

Suddenly, Batman stopped as he noticed a particular soldier. "I recognize that one, Robin." He pulled a Battablet out of his belt and began surfing the Internet.

"What if they detect you being on the Internet?" whispered Robin.

"This isn't a comic book," Batman explained himself quietly. "It's not that easy when a lot of these soldiers get online in their spare time. They'll never know the - I knew I recognized him. Wait for me."

Batman got behind the soldier and put his hand over the soldier's mouth from behind. "I won't hurt you, Lennie. This is Batman and I need your help." The soldier nodded cautiously.

They went to Robin. "This is Lennie Supps," Batman introduced him. "Was stationed in Arkansas before he was recommissioned here. He's a supporter."

"Glad to meet 'cha," said Robin, shaking his hand.

"You look like good a young man," said Lennie. "What humble thing do you heroes ask of me?"

"The sensor array," said Batman. "Where is it?" Lennie gave him a map and key card.

"Now make yourselves scarce," said Lennie as he laid down and closed his eyes as if he had been knocked out. Batman and Robin continued on their way.

"When'd you get so trusting?" asked Robin.

"I've been hanging around you kids too long," said Batman. "I think Catwoman's especially worn me down."

"I think I like you better this way," smiled Robin.

Batman picked up his communicator. Batgirl answered, "You get in, Batman?"

"Better than that," said Batman. "I got us a map. Where are you?"

"Mideastern section of the fourth floor," said Batgirl.

"Don't go anywhere," commanded Batman. "We're coming."

After a lot more sneaking around, The Dynamic Duo had reached area Batgirl had identified where they found her and Catwoman.

"I see you managed to co-exist after all," said Robin.

"We may not like each other," Batgirl admitted, "But we have made an effective team. But don't get me wrong. That's how far it goes."

"For once," concurred Catwoman, "We agree."

"It's a start," said Batman. "To the computer room."

If was difficult trek to get to the computer room with plenty of patrolling soldiers on the way, but through stealth, ambush, camouflage, and making sounds to distract soldiers, they made it. Batman put his head against the floor directly in front of the door. "A lot of people, but only two actual soldiers. As long as we're careful, this is a picnic."

Batman used Lennie's key card to open the door and he and Robin charged the soldiers. Batman's jab and right cross, along with Robin's flying kick, knocked them flat. Catwoman's feline-like hiss made some programmers freeze just as they would have sounded the alarm.

"Everyone get a mask on," said Batman as he drew masks from of the rear packets of his belt and passed them around to his comrades. They each put a mask on. "Batgas!" He, Batgirl, and Robin each chucked a Batgas pellet.

"What about our masks?" asked a programmer as he and his coworkers began coughing.

"Sorry," quipped Robin. "This party's by invitation only." Within seconds, the programmers were out colder than ice.

"Why the Hell did you gas them all?" asked Catwoman. "We need one to shut down the sensor array."

"No, we don't," Batgirl smirked proudly at Catwoman. "We've got me."

"You know how to hack?" chuckled Catwoman.

"I happen to be better at it than Batman," boasted Batgirl, obviously relishing the chance to get under Catwoman's fur. "Without me, the Batcomputer might've been hacked by now. No offense, Batman."

"But lots of offense to me, huh, Bitchgirl."

"That's enough," said Batman. "Get to work." Batgirl sat in a desk with a computer, looking extremely satisfied. Catwoman was seething. _People who hate each other can learn to work together, but I guess you shouldn't expect miracles._

Within minutes, Batgirl said, "Bingo was his name-'O!' Give me an hour and I'll trigger a chain reaction in the machinery that powers the sensor devices followed by an explosion that'll disable it."

"What if they just fix it?" asked Robin.

"They'd have to get more money from Washington for that," said Catwoman. "Never thought I'd say this, but thank God society is so wrong."

But within eleven minutes, Batgirl stopped smiling. "Guys? We've got ourselves a situation."

"What?" asked Batman.

"The sensor array's already been triggered. It'll start in less than seventeen minutes." Things had gone from bad to good to worse.

"Guess you're not the mistress hacker you thought you were," grinned Catwoman.

"So us getting caught is all worth it, huh?" asked Batgirl.

"Stop arguing," snapped Batman. "We need a solution."

"They might not find us before Batgirl takes their toys away," suggested Robin.

"We can't stake everything on 'might.'" Batman rejected Robin's idea.

"That we can all agree on, boy," said Catwoman. Batgirl nodded

"OK," offered Batgirl. "This is almost as risky, but I _can _destroy their sensory equipment right here, right now! Only... without taking every possible precaution, the moment I do, every alarm in the place will go off. We'll have to get out fast."

Batman waited a few minutes to null over this decision. He wanted a safer alternative. Finding none and receiving none from the others, he finally gave in. "We have no choice. The second you're finished, say so. Before we're up to our necks in soldiers."

Batgirl got back to work. Eventually, she shouted, "Now!" Before the four hunted crimefighters were out of the room, alarms had sounded.

Batman, Catwoman, Batgirl, and Robin ran to a window and opened it. "It's too dangerous down below," said Batman. "To the roof. Batgirl, you go first." Batgirl climbed out.

Already soldiers had reached them. Batman threw a couple smoke pellets on the ground to ruin their aim and sight. Robin went next through the window and up to the roof.

"I'm the best climber," said Catwoman. "I'll be OK."

"No," said Batman. "The leader makes sure no one is left behind." Catwoman kissed him on the cheek and went through the window and up.

Two bullets to the right arm were only partially blunted by Batman's body armor before we went through the window and Batgrappled to the roof himself.

"OK, handsome," said Catwoman. "We're up here. Now what?"

Before Batman could answer, a voice over a megaphone stated, "Batman, this is Colonel Volan Brinman. You are completely surrounded. We are sending a chopper to pick you up. Comply or be shot."

"That's our break," said Batman. "They have a weakness. The same one I have, but in a stronger dose: a reluctance to kill except in war."

As the chopper took off, Batman set his Mini-Batjet to go after the pilots. When the helicopter landed on the roof, the masked heroes came forwards with their hands up. The front of Batman's was towards the chopper so his Mini-Batjet was concealed.

"Stop, men," Brinman suddenly shouted over his megaphone. "He has a weapon." Too late. The Mine-Batjet was launched and stunned all the helicopter pilot and passengers. After literally throwing the stunned soldiers out of the helicopter, Batman used it to fly them away.

As Batman flew towards the Batmobile and Batjet a distance away, he was hugged from behind by Catwoman.

"Don't think she cares about you," warned Batgirl.

"I could've 'accidentally' gotten you caught so many times," said Catwoman, "And you still don't trust me?"

"I can't explain it," admitted Batgirl, "But that's the whole point, isn't it?"

"This changes nothing between you girls, huh?" asked Robin. Catwoman and Batgirl shook their heads.

"Could've been worse," said Batman. "At least our identities are protected again. But not safe. That won't be so until we expose or change the mind of the fanatic running Gotham city."

**Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:**

Mayor Falsootu had called the aides of the Speaker of the House of Representatives and Senate Majority Leader for more money to make another attempt at a sensor array when he first woke up. It was lunchtime and they still had yet to return his calls. _Feds. Love their pet projects, but ask for yours and they have to 'Watch the budget.' No wonder voters hate politicians. I've certainly done nothing to contribute to our bad reputation, no matter what apologists of The Batman want to say._

"After Falsootu had finished with his fancy sandwich, his secretary, Joyce, entered with Commissioner Ronald Studge.

"Mr. Mayor," said Joyce, "The Commissioner's here to see you."

"You're excused," said Falsootu before looking at Studge. "I place no blame on you for last night if that's why you're here."

"No," said Studge. "Can we try again?"

"No," sighed Falsootu. "They won't even tell me to screw myself."

"Your honor," said Studge softly, "We've got an even bigger problem."

"What could be a bigger problem than the costumed criminals getting away once again?" asked Falsootu.

Studge paused. Whatever he had to say was obviously big. "We've looked at sightings of Batman and his friends over the last week."

"And?"

"None were outside of town. There were sightings of Batman and Catwoman outside the country, but not anywhere in Gotham but... North Dakota."

"You mean they've got us bugged," asked Falsootu, a little paranoid.

"Worse than that," said Studge. "I think they have friends on the force."

Falsootu saw the logic and stood up with an angry look on his face. "Only thing worse than a vigilante is a corrupt cop. Find them. They must be held as accountable as Batman."

"I've got an idea who they might be," said Studge thoughtfully. "I'll find 'em. I swear it."


	9. Do You Know Your Lover?

**Batman's perspective:**

The Catwoman had called in sick this night. That, along with The Batgirl and Robin starting their patrol early so Batgirl (unaware at the time of the call) would not have to deal with Catwoman, meant that The Batman was on his own for the first time in a long time. He could deal with that. His relationship with Catwoman had a lot of complications.

But then Batman opened the front shield of the Batmobile to see Catwoman in the passenger's seat, smiling at him and saying, "Meow, lover."

"I thought you weren't well," said Batman.

"I lied," said Catwoman playfully.

"You're straight now," said Batman firmly, hands on hips. "Why do you insist on playing these games with me?"

"Because they're fun," said Catwoman. "Why else? Other than that you'd lose interest in me if I were a truly good girl. Or you'd have ended up with one of those boring college kids who just want to be good women and find a good man. You don't want to admit it, Batman, but you like me _because _I'm far from perfect."

Batman could not make himself say otherwise, most likely because it would have been a lie to the woman he loved. He entered the Batmobile and began the drive to Gotham.

"By the way, I know you were just being nice to that intern," said Catwoman, now extremely serious, "But anything that's going on has to stop ASAP! Got it?"

"You know about Aria?" asked Batman, surprised Catwoman could have so quickly found out about the young lady who had expressed affection for and hugged Bruce Wayne the other day.

"I warned you," Catwoman reminded him. "We always find out. Listen, this going straight for civilization thing goes against my instincts as it is. My God, that civilization let my parents down to their deaths and forced to steal to survive for most of my life. Don't even think I'll put up with cheating. Understand?"

"I only didn't want to hurt her feelings," said Bruce. "I've been breaking it to her gently."

"Tomorrow," demanded Catwoman. "Look at me." Batman saw that Catwoman absolutely meant it and nodded.

After preventing a few routine crimes, Catwoman smiled, "You know, all those years of stealing, I had to fight back guilt when I brought the shit home. But now..."

"Then you know you made the right choice," Batman smiled back at her. For one of few times since his parents were killed Batman was happy as well.

"I guess," shrugged Catwoman.

"However, there is a rule on this team," said Batman. "No swearing."

"Piss off, white boy," chuckled Catwoman.

It was then that they heard an alarm sounding. Because they were on a short building, Batman fired his Batgrapple in the direction of the alarm. Catwoman grabbed him from behind but objected, "It's too late to do anything about it."

"We'll see about that," said Batman as they swung. Sure enough, they soon saw two beanie-wearing men fleeing with bags from the alarm.

Batman and Catwoman pursued them down a manhole into the sewer. and followed. Two separate tunnels were ahead, and each burglar took a different one.

"Take the right," ordered Batman. "I've got the left." Batman took the left and began gaining on the criminal. He dropped his back and charged at Batman, knocking him down with a punch. This man was clearly much tougher than he looked.

Batman caught the shoe in his hands and kicked three times into the man's gut. Surprisingly, this only knocked him back, but a few punches finished the job.

Whatever performance-enhancing drugs these men were on had Batman terribly worried about Catwoman. "Catwoman! Be careful. These men are stronger than they look." No answer. "Catwoman, respond. Catwoman? Catwoman!"

Batman took the unconscious burglar through the tunnel Catwoman had run through. No one there; no sounds of anyone ahead. There were two possibilities. Catwoman could have been killed or succeeded, but being near stolen money had reawakened the thief in her. If so, she had taken the goods and body away so it would look to Batman like she had only gotten lost.

Batman took his own target out of the sewer. "I see you made good, too," called Catwoman from behind.

Batman gasped and turned to see her. _This is what I get for doing this to James Gordon for years._

"I'm sorry," apologized Catwoman. "Didn't mean to scare you like that, not that I thought anything could."

"You're what?" asked Batman. Catwoman apologizing for surprising him was shocking. "Never mind. To the Batmobile!"

During the drive to Catwoman's apartment, Batman had a difficult question to ask. "About Aria. I'm not going out with her, but I don't want to break her heart, either. May I have a few days to break it to her gently?" He knew he was getting a very cold response, but it was only right to ask."

"Sure," said Catwoman. Batman was surprised. Ordinarily Catwoman was harder than nails, but now she was easing up after the slightest effort. Before Batman had long to wonder they had reached Selina Kyle's home street.

**Sabisia William's perspective:**

Being on the right side had made Selina's best friend, Sabisia, feel better about herself. She was not sure Selina, who hated society and took to crime, like a fish out of water, felt about it, but she seemed more comfortable than Sabisia would have guessed.

Selina entered the apartment, not looking as cheerful as usual. "Bad night?" asked Sabisia.

"Great night," said Selina plainly. Because Caesarion, Catwoman's pet cougar, did not like Sabisia, Selina got him his turkey and reached over to pet him. Caesarion growled. "Not a good night for you, big boy."

Sabisia thought this was weird. "Wanna talk over dinner?"

"No," said Selina. "I'm going to bed."

Something was wrong. Selina was not herself.

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

"In short," said Mayor Falsootu at a speech about economics with Bruce and other local business and labor leaders sitting behind him in chairs the next afternoon, "We can report that the economy of Gotham City has never been stronger!"

_That's because the national economy as a whole is excellent, you lying slimeball politician!_

It was then that Bruce's ringtone sounded. "Hello," he whispered so as not to interrupt the speech, however much he would have loved to.

"Mr. Wayne," said Sabisia Williams, "You've gotta come over here right now!" She sounded afraid.

"I'm a little busy right now," said Bruce.

"It's Selina," said Sabisia said. "She's sick. Caesarion doesn't recognize her; we grew up together, scavaging and stealing to survive, yet she acts like she hardly knows me; but most of all, I can see written all over her face she's not the woman I've..."

Bruce could hear a dial tone. "Sabisia? Sabisia?"

At long last, the speech ended. "Thank you all for coming," said Falsootu to the business and labor leaders as the crowd left. _You're unwelcome, Mr. Mayor._

"Anyone want some lunch?" asked Falsootu. Some there were opposed to either Falsootu's anti-Batman politics or political party, yet like any competent politician, he made nice with all.

"No thank you," said Bruce to the surprise of everyone. To keep up appearances, Bruce had spoken against his alter-ego, so he was the person they would have expected to refuse. "An emergency has come up."

"Maybe I can help," offered Falsootu.

"No," Bruce shouted. "I mean, that won't be necessary, your honor. I'm sure you have important things to do today."

"Good luck," said Falsootu, a bit startled from Bruce's outburst.

Bruce entered his limousine and was driven to Selina's apartment. He entered Selina's room and saw Sabisia there, bleeding from the left cheek, arm, and forehead. Bruce seized a roll of paper towels and poured water into a bowl. He used both the paper and water to stop the bleeding, then clean up the blood after making sure that he had closed all the wounds. Although he succeeded, it was clear that Sabisia had a visit with a doctor coming.

"I can't move my arm," said Sabisia. "I don't know if it's broken." _More like an emergency room for her._

"Who did this?" asked Bruce, having a hard time believing who it had to be.

"Selina," explained Sabisia. "She said she's robbing the 7th National Bank of Gotham at eight tonight. I know this is either the moment you've been waiting for or been dreading, Mr. Wayne, but it's not her."

"How do you know that?" asked Bruce.

"I told you," said Sabisia. "She's not acting like herself. We grew up together I know. Something's happened to change her. Talk to her. Make her see reason. You think I'm right yourself, don't you?"

Bruce nodded and took Sabisia to an emergency room.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

The Batman had told all this to The Batgirl and Robin. Robin was horrified, but Batgirl was not the least bit surprised

"I knew all along that the scorpion couldn't help herself," said Batgirl. "But I always thought you'd be the frog, Batman."

"Sabisia said that something's happened to her," said Batman. Batgirl smirked.

"I don't think I knew how much The Princess of Plunder had messed up your head until tonight," said Batgirl.

Ignoring Batgirl, Batman simply said, "You're not making sense. She attacked her best friend."

"If she has any friend other than herself," said Batgirl. "I know you think something complicated's at work, but here's my simpler theory. From the moment she blackmailed you, Kyle has been plotting to marry, kill, and get Bruce Wayne's money. Or something of like that. That's why you're alive. But Williams wouldn't go that far, so Kyle tried to kill her for having an once of character. Now Kyle's trying to trap us with proof of her crimes in our wings at last. I ask you, does that make sense?"

Batman hesitated, but Robin said, "Yes!"

"Robin..." Batman began.

"No," cried Robin. "She's committed attempted murder. I've defended her before. I've said she's done enough good before that we have to give her a chance. But now she's blown that chance."

Batgirl had some rough facts of life to tell Batman. "Remember, I told you that if it came to this, I'd fight you if you got in the way. It has. You're outnumbered. If you want to share a cell with her..." She hated to talk to one of the two men she looked up to, but if he would not do what was right, what could Batgirl do?

Batman paused for twenty-five seconds before offering, "Let me talk to her before this starts. If the sun comes up and she's still both free and at odds with us... I'll surrender to you kids." Batgirl and Robin nodded.

Batman, Batgirl, and Robin were hiding behind a billboard not too far from the 7th National Bank of Gotham. Eventually, Robin, on his turn to peek, pointed and whispered, there she is. Batman and Batgirl took note. She was walking towards the bank and climbed up. Then she stared at the billboard. Batman was not surprised to see that Catwoman had spotted Batman and his comrades. In her criminal days that she was unable to part with, Catwoman had always been one step ahead of him. But then she gave them a "Come on" signal.

"This makes no sense," said Batman.

"Yeah," said Batgirl. "She's never been this brave or eager to fight. Looks like a trap."

"It's also an opportunity," said Robin, drawing his Batgrapple. Soon enough, the three were surrounding Catwoman from a distance away.

"You were supposed to stay out of trouble," said Batman.

"Did you really believe me, silly cracker?" smirked Catwoman.

"I didn't," said Batgirl as she charged at Catwoman and delivered a jump kick. But Catwoman easily dodged and kicked at Batgirl. Batgirl felt like a wrecking ball had hit her in the side; she fell down, holding her hip in pain.

Catwoman was several meters away from Batgirl one moment and right next to her the next. As if she had used super speed. "It's not possible," insisted Batgirl.

"Haven't you seen enough strange stuff to buy this?" asked Catwoman before raising and driving her right boot into Batgirl's head.

Darkness came over The Dark Lady.

**Batman's perspective:**

Catwoman pressed her boot on Batgirl's skull. This puzzled Batman even more. Catwoman was not entirely above killing, but neither had she ever been quick to do it. At the sound of bones cracking, The Dynamic Duo charged. Faster than the eye could follow, Catwoman drew her whip, lashed it around Robin's left ankle, and slammed him into the ground three times by the whip. A thrown Batarang severed the whip, but it was too late. Robin was unconscious and Batman was on his own.

As Catwoman took a look at how short her whip had been cut, which was too short for it to be effective, Batman ran towards her and delivered a jump kick. To Batman's shock, Catwoman was only knocked back four steps.

"Good try," she said. "Knocks out almost anybody else... but to me, it's dodge ball." With that, she began running literal circles around Batman. It looked like a blur of black leather orbiting him. And it soon began drawing closer. Batman took a deep breath and judged where in the blur Catwoman was and would be in the time it took for a fist or boot to stretch out. Batman finally punched, but only felt air. A split second later, he felt pain in the groin. As he hunched over and clutched his private parts, Batman saw the blur move to the edge of the roof and stop, making Catwoman totally visible again.

"That was low, wasn't it?" grinned Catwoman. Batman was immediately felled by an elbow over the head. "That was high but somehow still dirty. Oh, well."

Batman tried a leg sweep, knowing it would never connect. It did not. "How is this possible?" he asked.

Batman snapped around as Catwoman asked from behind, "Would you believe I'm doing to you what I could've and should've three years ago?"

"Are you trying to tell me you were holding this much back every time we..." Batman knew that Catwoman had passed on a number of chances to kill or leave him high and dry. But this was hard to accept.

"Still clinging onto your male ego?" Catwoman laughed. "Let's kill it. And you." Three seconds passed. Batman's right cheek, stomach, and both sides of his chest were scratched up! Meanwhile, he also took so many kicks all over that he could barely stay conscious.

The Princess of Plunder began carrying The Dark Knight to the edge of the roof to be hurled into the pavement below! "I did enjoy our romps together, both friendly and unfriendly. But a girl's gotta grow up and become a woman." But Batman now saw that Catwoman seemed to be wearing two masks on the same head. Batman took off the one on top. Catwoman became less able to carry Batman and dropped him completely not far from the edge. Batman rose to a kneel and stared defensively at Catwoman.

"Y'know, you're getting worse in bed if..." Catwoman went from teasing to confused. "That's not it."

"You did this to me," said Batman.

Catwoman's jaw dropped. "It's coming back to me."

**Catwoman's perspective, the night before:**

"Take the right," said Batman as they pursued burglars taking separate routes. "I've got the left." Catwoman gained on her target for awhile before he reversed course into Catwoman and decked her with a punch.

"I like non-gentleman," grinned Catwoman. "I can do to them what I want and won't feel bad about it." The man grabbed her from behind. Catwoman tried to squeeze out, but this seemingly normal thief had the strength of a bodybuilder, and dragged her away. Catwoman got a boot in position to kick between the man's legs, but he barely even flinched.

Nuzzling her back against her opponent's chest, Catwoman said sultrily, "Hard balls. I can think of a few things to do with them." No response. _No pain, no lust. Gotta be a robot._

Catwoman was dragged into a wide-open spot with the creature comforts one would expect to find in an occupied trailer. A four-foot tall man in a green top hat and similarly formal set of clothes smiled at her. "Hold her good, Jacob. I am The Mad Hatter. I'd hoped for The Batman, but then again, it was a girl who's supposed to drink tea with me."

"Alice also drank with a bunny," sneered Catwoman. "Cats don't like bunnies. No, I'll pass."

"I see this cat needs training," said The Hatter, fitting a second mask over the one Catwoman was wearing. "Mask, induce trance."

Suddenly, a powerful mood swing came over Catwoman. She felt an urge to obey the commands of the little man. It was not out of loyalty or attraction. Only something she felt she should do.

"Are you ready to join the tea party, my lovely guest?" asked The Hatter.

"Yes," said Catwoman.

**Batman's perspective, present time:**

"So that's the story," said Catwoman.

"Now it all makes sense," realized Batman. "You seemed so unlike yourself because you _weren't _yourself. And you were became superhuman because of the adrenaline rush forced by the mind control chip he put in this mask. I thought they shut off your emotions. Not anymore, I guess."

"Hey, don't get the wrong idea," Catwoman cleared something up. "I still could've done away with you a number of times, including right now. In the past, I had lots of second thoughts. Now, though... I'm really sorry." Then she remembered something else. "How's Sabisia?"

"She'll make it," said Batman. "It's not your fault."

"In that case," said Catwoman with determination, "Time for another trip to the sewer. We've got a hobbit-ass to kick!"

"First, we take the others to the Batcave," said Batman. "Alfred needs to heal the damage you did to them. I could use some help, too."

Batgirl and Robin had been put in beds with ice bags on their heads. Alfred had said that they needed only some rest and they would be fine. He was bandaging Batman's wounds.

"I've always questioned if you were the best boyfriend in the world, Master Batman," joked Alfred, "But if you can take what Madam Catwoman did to you and forgive her, you can't be that bad at it."

"Not funny," said Batman.

Catwoman had her hands on her hips. "Uh-uh. This wasn't my fault."

"My apologies, Madam," apologized Alfred. "I didn't think you'd take it so personally."

"I do take it personally," said Catwoman. But as Alfred had apologized, she changed the subject. "I had to do this for him when we were chasing Ra's al Ghul. How often do you have to do this for him?"

"Let's just say any real doctor would tell you he couldn't still be alive."

"Yourself included?" asked Bruce. Alfred smiled.

After Batman had changed into a fresh Batsuit, there was still something to do before he went back into the sewer after The Mad Hatter.

First, Catwoman said, "I think we should go to my apartment and get Caesarion first. Poor guy's been missing too much fun."

"He can come," said Batman, "But we're leaving you behind."

"You're hurt and don't know how to control Caesarion," said Catwoman. "You know I should come."

"Indeed," agreed Alfred.

So Batman walked to the Batmobile and allowed Catwoman to follow. Batman had to hope that Catwoman only wanted justice, not blood.

They gathered up Caesarion at her apartment, then drove to the block where The Mad Hatter's slaves had lead them before.

"I can't promise I won't kill the little guy," Catwoman spelled it out.

That was all it took. Batman hit the brakes.

"What?" asked Catwoman defensively. "Don't give me a 'This isn't justice' speech. It is! Hatter's worse than the Joker. At least he only ends people's lives. The Mad Hatter tried to steal mine from me and make me a killer! Besides, your holier-than-thou ethics haven't stopped the government and half the people from thinking we're just like them."

"True," Batman acknowledged. "But killing makes them right." Catwoman said nothing. Batman really had no choice but to drive and prepare to fight Catwoman on this later. Not literally, he hoped.

They descended into the sewer. They reached the two tunnels and took the one on the right. They were just a bit past the intersection when something hard hit Batman from behind, knocking him down. It was Catwoman with a pipe that she had apparently picked up without Batman noticing. Catwoman hissed and signaled with her arms for Caesarion to attack. Caesarion held Batman down and roared at him, but for some reason did not bite or claw. Catwoman sliced off Batman's belt with her claws, took out a pair of Batcuffs and tossed the belt aside. She dragged the semi-immobilized and stunned Batman to a steel pipe running along the tunnel wall and Batcuffed him to it.

"Sorry, baby," said Catwoman. "But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."

"Then our relationship is over," said Batman angrily.

"I know you're angry with me right now," said Catwoman softly. "You'll get over it."

"If you go through with it," said Batman. "Not this time." And he meant it.

Catwoman and Caesarion walked away. Batman began struggling with the Batcuffs. He had to get out of them fast before someone he cared about crossed the line.

**Catwoman's perspective:**

Catwoman hated to do that, but The Mad Hatter had to pay. "Let's hope Batman comes to understand."

Caesarion growled deeply, slowly, sadly.

"Yeah," agreed Catwoman sadly. "The hunt's about to be on. But he's less than one hundred percent and outnumbered. Who am I kidding? I couldn't kill him before. But somehow, I have to this time."

Catwoman and Caesarion entered The Mad Hatter's den to see only a man wearing a beanie and obviously, the enslaving chip underneath.

Catwoman sic'ed Caesarion on him. He bit the man's hand before being tossed aside by his empowered opponent. But this distracted the man enough for Catwoman to whip the beanie off. The man seemed confused.

Catwoman and Caesarion walked towards the man. "OK, you got a minute to remember everything. But then I want you to tell where the son of bitch..."

An explosion sounded above and the roof caved in. Catwoman screamed and tried to protect herself by ducking and raising her arms up with barely the presence of mind to cover Caesarion as she did this. Before mounds of concrete hit, though, Batman had jumped over Catwoman and spread his protective cape to protect her and the cougar, though a little piece missed the cape and knocked out The Mad Hatter's ex-slave.

Batman was straining and groaning with all the broken-up concrete on him. Catwoman lifted enough of the large pieces away so Batman could rest.

"My hero," grinned Catwoman as she lovingly stroked him from head to shoulder with both hands. _Maybe gratitude and charm will settle this._

"No thanks needed," frowned Batman. "But I would like an apology."

Catwoman heard steps to the side. "Sorry," she said halfheartedly before running at the sound while signalling Caesarion to follow.

As she expected, it was The Hatter. He drew a pistol, but Catwoman whipped it out of his hand. Before The Hatter could get it back, Caesarion had tackled him.

"I know big cats don't normally eat humans," Catwoman said sweetly to Caesarion, "But don't knock it until you've tried it."

"You wouldn't," cried a terrified Hatter.

"You took my freewill away," frowned Catwoman. "You made me try to kill my best friend and the man I love. You deserve it." Suddenly, she turned around and cracked her whip on the ground. Having materialized from the darkness, Batman did not back away.

"Don't," said Batman. "Let the law handle it."

"You know that argument holds no weight with me," scoffed Catwoman.

"The images of your parents we saw in Sweden," Batman reminded Catwoman. "The ones who were disappointed in you. And who you thought were actually their spirits. Do you think they'd approve."

"No," said Catwoman. For the first time, she was reconsidering this.

"Moreover," added Batman, "If you try to kill, then I vow to fight, even if it breaks my heart!"

Catwoman sighed. "I'm past the point where I could have made an enemy of you. More than anything, I think that's why I won't do it. Oh, and I know it's a little late, but I'm sorry I ambushed you back there."

"Better late than never," nodded Batman. He opened his arms, and Catwoman hugged him.

"You saved my life," said The Mad Hatter.

"She was right about one thing," rebuked Batman. "It's more than you deserve."

**Selina Kyle's perspective:**

Late the next morning, Selina was taking Sabisia out of the hospital in a wheelchair. "I'm so sorry," said Selina.

"I'm so sorry," apologized Catwoman.

"It was the little creep who did this to me," Sabisia forgave her friend. "Not you."

That evening, they heard knocking on the door. "Not expecting anyone," said Selina as she answered it. It was Barbara Gordon.

"Let me guess," Selina smirked fiercely. "You're gonna threaten me again for something I did under someone else's control."

"Actually," said Barbara without a hint of hostility, "I'm proud of you. You actually let The Hatter's punishment be decided by the authorities. Why?"

"Not wanting to be hunting, I knew it would have been wrong to kill a beaten opponent, but mainly for Bruce."

"Really?" asked Barbara. "I almost think you mean it."

"Might you be close to forgiving and forgetting?" asked Selina. _Oh, boy, this is better than I thought it would be._

"Don't get it twisted," said Barbara, raising her hands defensively. "I can't forget what you used to do. But stay out of trouble, and I just might learn to forgive you."

"Good enough," nodded Selina.

**Batman's perspective:**

"I saw on the news that The Mad Hatter lived to make it to prison," smiled Alfred to Bruce as they waited for Selina, Tim, and Barbara. "You're a great leader."

"When I became The Batman," Bruce reflected on everything, "I never saw myself as more than a loner. But you're right. I clearly did something right."

"No need to be so modest, Sir," said Alfred. "You did a lot of things right."


	10. Double Reunion

**"Deadeye" Brunt Seklar's perspective:**

"I don't get the logic," said the one-eyed mob boss with a patch on his missing right eye. "He's not from around here."

"My condidtions for him are specific," said the person hiding in the shadows of the warehouse with a proposal for Deadeye. "He will come in time after we are finished. Just make sure you cause a lot of trouble with the recruits I will frighten into your organization."

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Bruce's phone was ringing. It was Dick Grayson.

"I know you told me, you don't need any help from me," said Dick, "But what if I told you that I'd like some from you?"

"Anytime, anywhere," promised Bruce.

"We've got a gang problem in Bludhaven," said Dick. "We need help." In case someone was listening in somehow, Dick was being carefully to not spell out that Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson were The Batman and Nightwing.

"I'll see what I can do," promised Bruce.

When Selina Kyle, Barbara Gordon, and Tim Drake arrived, Bruce told them, "We have to split up for a short while."

"Can't commit?" asked Selina.

"It's not that," Bruce assured her with a hand on her shoulder. "Dick has asked us to go to Bludhaven to give him a helping hand."

"Let me go," said Barbara. "I haven't seen him in a long time." And Bruce knew of the feelings between them.

"You and Selina can go," said Bruce.

"Is that necessary?" asked Selina.

"Yes," insisted Bruce sternly. "You're still far from trusting each other completely. I want you to get more used to each other." But the hostility between the women was not what it once was, either. They did not object.

"Ladies," said Bruce, "I have a thousand dollars right here," he brandished an envelope containing them. "This should finance your trip if you get the job done in a timely fashion. If not, phone me. I've informed the company that Barbara is going to be on vacation." Selina was officially unemployed so there was no need to inform anyone but her friend, Sabisia Williams.

"Understood," Barbara nodded.

"So it's Batman and Robin again in Gotham?" asked Tim.

"Yes," said Bruce.

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

The next morning, Barbara and Selina were riding to Bludhaven. Selina's car radio was on a "soul" station and an energetic black music artist was singing on it. Barbara was not into this kind of music, so she reached for the dial. Selina gently slapped her hand away.

"Don't touch a black woman's radio," said Selina. "Plus, I don't think Dick would appreciate you fantasizing about cheating on him with a rockin' dreamboat."

"That's not funny," said Barbara, knowing that Selina was probably right. "I happen to love the guy."

"Don't blame you," said Selina. "I always thought he was a sexy little boy. Only cuter as a man. You won't tell Bruce I said that, will you?"

"I can keep a secret if you can," promised Barbara. She still was far from trusting Selina, but mutually assured destruction kept everyone honest.

"At least you're listening to music," Selina smiled. "Bruce doesn't have any real radio in the Batmobile."

"Tell me about it," said Barbara. She started speaking in a mock macho voice. "'There can be no distractions in this line of work.' I swear, the man hates fun."

"Mm-hmm," Selina agreed. "Say, I think that's the first time we've ever totally agreed on anything."

Barbara nodded with a smile.

**Batman's perspective:**

Because of his relationship with The Catwoman, this night ended the longest stretch of time since The Batman and Robin had been together in the Batmobile. Probably too long. After all, this had been a tradition for years.

The Dynamic Duo saw three men knocking out a man with baseball bats so Batman stopped the car and opened the front shield. Batman and Robin rushed the attackers Batman knocked out one with two jabs and cross, ducked a bat swing from behind, and mule kicked a second man out.

Robin leapt at his own target, wrapped his legs around the thugs throat, and grabbed hold of the bat with his hands. He twisted his legs just enough to slow the thug's breath. Within seconds, he was out cold.

Getting a phone out of the unconscious victim's pocket, Batman said, "I'm calling the police over here and then we're gone."

"Great to form this team again," said Robin. Batman nodded in agreement.

**Dick Grayson's perspective:**

Dick's door began ringing (restitution from the company his dead parents and the fact that he was Bruce Wayne's ward for a few years had enabled him to buy a house, despite only being twenty-one years old).

Dick answered the door. It was Barbara, who leapt into a hug that nearly toppled him! "I see you missed me," smiled Dick.

"Mm-hmm," Barbara smiled back at him.

"Young love," noted Selina.

"Look out!" warned Dick. He now noticed Selina behind Barbara. "You've been followed." Many knew Selina and Catwoman to be the same person, but no one had been able to prove it.

"I know," said Barbara. "We think she's changed. I have my doubts, but she's done enough good to only deserve healthy suspicion."

"Bruce never told me about this," said Dick.

"He wouldn't," agreed Selina. "He may be tougher than Hell and the world's greatest detective, but he could learn more about character."

"So what do you need help for?" asked Barbara.

"A local pirate-themed gang called The Buccaneers has been recruiting like mad! They've got two hundred guys at least! I don't know how Deadeye Seklar is doing it. I thought he was a minor league gang leader, but I guess I was wrong.

"This is gonna be tough," said Barbara.

"I have just the way to do it," said Selina.

**Robin's perspective:**

Batman and Robin were on a building, looking around and below for trouble. Suddenly, Batman grunted lightly in pain. Robin saw a dart sticking into Batman's left cheek. He seemed a bit dizzy as sedative entered his bloodstream.

"Are you OK?" asked Robin.

"No," said Batman. "Be alert!"

"It's for your own good... I think," called a female voice. It was several buildings away. This woman leapt or climbed on a thrown grappling hook across rooftops until she reached Batman and Robin. It was The Huntress. Robin noticed that she had a small crossbow put away. No doubt it was the weapon she had weakened Batman with.

"Oh, no," said Robin.

"Oh, yes," said Huntress.

"Let me guess," said Batman. "You think I'm in cahoots with Catwoman. It's the other way around, I assure you."

"I knew you'd say that," said The Huntress, drawing and loading her large crossbow. "I'll hear you out. What makes you think she's changed?"

"She's done good," said Batman.

"Or so she'd have you think," said The Huntress, unmoved. "What makes you think she's changed. I mean, besides that you want to get in her black leather."

Sensing that Batman was seething at Huntress' implication, Robin answered her question. "To tell you the truth, she blackmailed him."

"Robin," snapped Batman.

"It's true," said Robin.

"I've heard enough," said The Huntress, pointing her crossbow at Batman's head. "She's using you. She doesn't love you. Tell me where and how I can find evidence against her. I don't want to do this to you, but if you're going to protect her..."

"Alright," said Robin as he walked towards The Huntress.

"Robin..." said Batman again, this time in quiet anger.

"It's got to be done," said Robin. But he had his retracted staff covered in his hands. He lengthened it and knocked the crossbow of a surprised Huntress away. Batman threw a Batarang at the crossbow in an attempt to knock it farther away. He missed. He did succeed on a second attempt, but Robin knew that Batman was far from one hundred percent, and only going to get weaker with time. They had to escape.

"Retreat," yelled Batman as he ran to the door into the mall below.

As he followed, Robin asked, "Batman, why aren't we going to the Batmobile?"

"Because she's good enough with that crossbow to pick us off on the way," said Batman. "And believe me, she will."

They sneaked around in the store below, G-Mart. It was hard to get around without being seen, but the opportunities presented themselves. They spent a lot of time hiding in shadowy spots of G-Mart. At this hour, the crowds were finally thinning out a bit, so they could just barely get inside unnoticed. Finally, they found rack of shirts in a quiet corner of the store and hid under it.

"Antitoxin," whispered Batman. He was getting sicker and sicker. Robin injected it into his neck. Now they had to hope the sedative wore off before the place closed.

_And if not, please don't let The Huntress be trapped here with us!_

**Nightwing's pespective:**

"Are you sure this is the place?" Batgirl asked Nightwing uncertainly.

"Positive," Nightwing explained again. "I trailed Deadeye here long ago. In fact, the only reason I need you girls is because after that monstrous recruitment he's been doing, I couldn't take them all by myself. He's even getting a lot of them from other gangs."

"Sounds like at this rate, there won't be any other gangs for long," said Catwoman.

"Don't get the wrong idea," grinned Nightwing. "I'd miss them like a paper cut. I just don't want them running my town."

They entered the building and saw through the window how many there were wearing costumes, as per the pirate-themed gang that they were, The Buccaneers. If anything, more recent recruits meant that Nightwing had underestimated the number of people there, if anything.

"Why haven't the police done anything about them?" asked Batgirl.

"They don't want to mess with this many people," said Nightwing sadly.

"Of course not," grumbled Catwoman. "America's finest, indeed!"

Nightwing shook his head. Catwoman may have been both hot and reformed, but Nightwing still wondered how Batman could love her. Nightwing hated Catwoman's contempt for authority... and, in this case, being right.

"They have us outnumbered by more than a hundred to one," said Batgirl. "We need a plan."

"I've got one," offered Catwoman. "Let me go alone. I'll sneak into their fuse box and turn out the lights. They'll be off-balance in darkness with so many people. We've still got my night-vision goggles and your lenses. The odds will at _least _be even."

It was reasonably sound. Undisciplined gangs, unlike the mafia, handled unusual situations badly, and in the dark so much manpower might actually hurt The Buccaneers. But Nightwing still had one question. "What if you get caught?"

"Never happen," Catwoman beamed proudly. "I was the greatest thief in the world and besides, they may have an entire army of guys, but they're still amateur thugs. Arrogant in big numbers like they have right now, cluckin' chickens by themselves. The power's going out, and they'll have no idea that it's more than a glitch."

"I hope so," said Batgirl. "Amateurs or not, we need a break to survive this many of them."

Catwoman nodded. She used her claws to extract a segment of a window big enough for her to fit through it and into the building. Within seconds, she seemed to have vanished. _She's good._

Soon enough, all the lights abruptly went out. It was time. Nightwing and Batgirl activated their night-vision lenses, then smashed through other windows for effect.

The battle had begun. Nightwing and Batgirl began taking out gangsters. Before long, Catwoman had entered the fray to do the same. At one point, many criminals finally drew guns and started shooting. But as it was dark except for the phones that only a few of them had the presence of mind to turn on, they only shot their comrades trying to pick off the costumed heroes!

"No, morons!" shouted Deadeye Seklar. "You're hitting my other men. Drop the..." What he was about to say turned into a death rattle. It was obvious why. Despite being in the middle of a high-stakes war, Nightwing felt a little sad for him. Batman had taught Nightwing to feel compassion even for the bad guys.

Catwoman had been right. Plunging the place into darkness had knocked The Buccaneers so off-balance that their numbers were not helping them very much. If anything, it had hurt because of the lack of room to move, along with the darkness-fueled panic. Fists, boots, and assorted weapons continued to whittle down their numbers. Eventually, they had all been knocked out by Nightwing, Batgirl, Catwoman, or killed by friendly fire.

"What did I tell you?" asked Catwoman as she raised her hand to be slapped. "We won!"

"A battle," corrected a female voice. The heroes looked in her direction to see a Chinese woman wearing night-vision goggles and wearing a formal martial arts class _karategi_. "But you have one opponent left yet in this war."

"Lady Shiva," Catwoman identified the last opponent.

"Who the Hell is she?" asked Nightwing.

"A bitch with an ancient mentality," explained Catwoman. "Fought Batman but insisted on killing him. I had to help him out."

"You make it sound so dignified, Catwoman," frowned Shiva. "You soiled the honor of dignified combat with your interference."

"Sounds like you've got a screwed-up idea of 'honor,'" Batgirl returned Shiva's frown.

"Especially since you apparently helped a gang get a lot stronger just to get back at Batman and Catwoman," mocked Nightwing. "Just out of curiosity, what were you pulling, exactly?"

"I knew The Batman's former protege was here," explained Shiva. "I knew he wouldn't agree to a duel, so I thought that by apprehending you, Nightwing, I could force him to come to me and fight for you."

"Happy to disappoint you," Batgirl smirked.

But Lady Shiva smiled. "On the contrary. This makes the outcome more interesting."

"You want us to play rock/paper/scissors for the chance to fight you?" guessed Catwoman.

"Of course not," laughed Shiva. "None of you anywhere near my class. I believe in good fights. Here is my proposal. No weapons. Pure, natural combat is the name of the game as you Americans are so fond of saying. You will can take turns attacking me. After one of you is knocked down, moving eight feet away from me will forfeit your turn and pass it to someone else. If the three of you or I are knocked out or die, that side is defeated. Any violation of these rules will constitute a defeat for the side of the perpetrator."

"I've got a better idea," Catwoman stared hard at Lady Shiva. "You can't take us all at once, and we'd rather be sneaky and merciful than 'honorable' murderers." Batgirl and Nightwing nodded.

"Since you don't kill," said Shiva, "I shall tell your police force who you are. Do this my way and I promise to keep your secrets to myself."

"What's she talking about?" asked Batgirl.

"I hoped she didn't know enough to play that card," Catwoman grinned nervously. "She knows who we are. We've gotta play her game. Just be careful. I wasn't kidding when I said Batman needed me to survive her. He couldn't even make it close against her."

"No one's that good," said a disbelieving Nightwing as he walked towards Lady Shiva. He swung his fists out. Jab, jab, cross, jab, hook, uppercut. Shiva blocked them all, then sent a martial arts and strike into Nightwing's abdomen. Despite his body armor, the pain made him fall. Shiva attempted a somersault stomp, but Nightwing log rolled away until his was ten or eleven feet away.

"No one's that good," mocked Catwoman, clearly unhappy with Nightwing's performance. "Let's not listen to the ex-thief" she added sarcastically, but Nightwing said nothing. No rebuttal of his would have felt right.

"Who's next?" Lady Shiva threatened Batgirl and Catwoman.

"Between the two of us," said Batgirl bravely, "I'm the one who's not conflicted." She ran and somersaulted over Shiva to try to catch her from behind. But Shiva quickly ducked and used the ground with her hands to hold herself up as she mule kicked Batgirl away.

Catwoman cautiously moved in. Unfortunately, she took too long to make up her mind and was decked by a reverse elbow. Catwoman moved away before Shiva could follow up.

"Try again, my handsome but unworthy adversary," Lady Shiva turned back to Nightwing. For it was his turn.

_Well, this sure could be going better..._

**Robin's perspective:**

Robin could hear gates coming down, sealing G-Mart. "Oh, no," despaired Robin. Were they going to have to sleep in the mall?

"Don't worry," said Batman. "Sooner or later, the antitoxin will kick in and then I'll be able to get us out of here."

Before Robin could reply, Batman had shifted his head a bit to the right and was staring hard. "It's not us and security guards. The Huntress is here. And I think she's spotted us."

_Not good._

"You ready for her?" asked Robin.

"I'll have to be," said Batman. That was no answer. "Don't, Robin. You can't fight her."

Robin moved out of the shirt rack and began hiding behind stands of items that were on sale during open hours. _I can fight her and buy time for you, Batman. I just probably can't beat her._

Robin saw The Huntress walking towards a hidden Batman with her large crossbow. "The chase is over Batman. I've got questions about Catwoman, and I know you have answers. As sweet of you as it would be to die for her, there's a lot of more deserving women you could be with." Robin had gotten right behind her by the time Huntress had taken aim. "One... two.. idiot!"

On that cue Robin dived, grabbing The Huntress from behind and causing the bolt to veer wide left of Batman into a wall. Robin's right leg kneed the crossbow out of Huntress' grip and wrapped around Huntress' right arm. This freed Robin's right fist to rain down on The Huntress' head four times.

But The Huntress was very big for a woman and even stronger than she looked; she threw Robin off her and kicked him in the ribs, though his body armor somewhat blunted the impact. Robin kicked Huntress in the shins where she had no more protection than a boot and uppercut her down. She appeared to be on the verge of unconsciousness.

"Beaten by a boy," said Robin as he walked over to her. Suddenly, The Huntress sat up and punched him in the groin. As Robin doubled over, Huntress lay back down, and whipped her right leg across Robin's face. He was down. Huntress had crawled beside him with a dagger just over his sore balls.

"That's a dirty way to win," complained Robin.

"But a win," declared The Huntress triumphantly. "I know this is a personal fantasy come true for you, but take this seriously or I finish what I started with them. And Batman doesn't want to try anything either. He won't tell me anything about Catwoman. You do, I leave both of you alone. C'mon, you know I'm right."

Robin thought The Huntress might be right, but that was not enough. Before The Huntress said anything else, she grunted, and began looking around. Robin caught a glimpse of a dart in the right side of her neck. Within seconds, a man had grabbed her off Robin.

"Thanks, Bat..." Robin began as he looked to see that his rescuer was the red-haired bounty hunter known as The Fox. He had put The Huntress in a head lock that twisted her neck enough that combined with the sedative, she was out cold. "You're not Batman."

"No, I'm not," said The Fox with a fierce smile.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Nightwing, Batgirl, and Catwoman had all gone four rounds with Lady Shiva But although the heroes of Gotham and Bludhaven were feeling sore all over, Shiva had yet to take a hit. The good side gathered together like a huddling American football team as it realized that it was in big trouble.

"It's like she's reading our minds," quietly exclaimed a frightened and admiring Nightwing.

"We can't give up," whispered Batgirl. "There's a way to dig out of any hole."

"I know you do-gooders are optimistic," lamented a very pessimistic Catwoman, "But no matter what they tell you, good guys don't always win. And I should know." After all, she had never been caught by Batman.

"I am a patient woman," Shiva said a distance away, "But if don't conclude your planning within seconds, I will end your stalling on my terms." She poised her right fist on a straight right hand, martial arts style, to prove her point.

Nightwing and especially Catwoman were frightened, but Batgirl said, "No! Do not lose heart. You hear me? Don't let her intimidate you. In fact, that's the problem. When we discovered just how good she is, we started making mental mistakes. We've just gotta keep it together and we'll be fine. I mean, it's three against one."

"OK," said Nightwing, feeling more confident. He advanced towards Lady Shiva, who hit him in the nose with a hand thrust. This time, though, he did not fall. He blocked three thrusts and a kick before kicking Shiva in the hip, her first pain of the night. Shiva still won yet another round with a leg sweep and by kicking Nightwing away.

Batgirl ran and took the form of a jump kick halfway through the motions, knowing that it would not connect. Shiva crouched, so Batgirl shifted into an overhead elbow strike. Shiva had to use her hands to not fall, but countered with handspring leap that kicked Batgirl down with both legs.

Catwoman did an actual jump kick from behind that knocked Shiva down. She caught Catwoman's follow-up boot and countered with a knee to her behind.

Two more rounds went like this. While Batgirl, Nightwing, and Catwoman were hurt and becoming more so, Shiva was feeling the heat. True, they were one-sided rounds individually, but really, they no longer were with Shiva outnumbered.

It was Batgirl's turn. "You are the most overrated warriors I have ever met," said Lady Shiva. "It's bad enough that you are amateurs, but then I discover that you have allowed your city to fall into the hands of a madman."

"Is our second wind destroying your physical hope and making you fall back to mind games?" taunted Nightwing.

Batgirl agreed but chose to actually challenge Shiva's accusation. "What would you have had us do about Charles Falsootu?" She assumed that the Mayor was the madman Shiva was talking about.

"I would remove him from power with his head," smiled Shiva. "The one below him looks like he would be improvement. And if not... sooner or later there would be a Mayor who would recognize the consequences of abusing his power."

"That's your solution, huh?" said Batgirl contemptuously. "Just kill 'em all 'til you get your way?"

"If it works, yes," concluded Shiva. "At the very least, your father would not have been wrongfully discharged."

"Don't you go there," screamed Batgirl. What Falsootu did to her father, the former Commissioner, was a sensitive subject to The Batgirl, AKA, Barbara Gordon.

"Don't get angry," pleaded Nightwing. "It's exactly what she wants."

"One day," Shiva did the _coup de grace_, "Your father will tell you that his one regret is how his fine career ended. You will know that regret is all your fault." Batgirl's blood boiled at that.

"No, don't," cried Nightwing.

"Don't be stupid," said Catwoman more calmly. "Just calm down."

But Batgirl's hatred for Catwoman had not entirely vanished. That may have been why The Princess of Plunder's warning only encouraged The Dark Lady to charge and yell incoherently at Shiva, who happily blocked three punches before felling Batgirl with a hopping knee strike. Shiva seized Batgirl's wrists and pressed a boot against Batgirl's throat and chin.

"No, please," begged Nightwing.

_No! I can't let him doom his city for me. _"Whatever you do," gagged Batgirl against the pressure of Shiva's foot, "Don't give in for me. It's my own damn fault and besides, more than me is at stake." But Batgirl was not sure she would not have given up everything for Nightwing.

"Not to worry," said Shiva. "I am not offering to spare you. Your death will bring Batman to me. The other two had best leave while they still can."

Instead Catwoman said cheerfully, "You don't disappoint, bitch. You used her father when the tide turned against you. Now you're gonna kill her in a dirty way. That's sleazy. Even to me.

"I do not hear the judgment of petty thieves," said Shiva. But her grip on Batgirl's wrists had loosened enough for Batgirl to slip away and run back towards her friends. A jump kick knocked her into Nightwing's arms at the last moment.

"Think I'm bleeding in the back of my head," said Batgirl.

Nightwing reached under her mask where her long red hair was let out and said, "No. You could afford to sleep with a bag of ice on it, though."

"You can die in her place," said Shiva to Catwoman.

"Wrong," grinned Catwoman. "She got well over ten feet away before you caught her. I believe you said that forfeited her turn and you weren't supposed to be attacking her. I do believe that disqualifies you.

Shiva stood in disbelief for a few seconds before smiling and clapping her hands. "Well-played, Catwoman. Well-played. Although not in the way I might have imagined, you have dealt me my first defeat in decades!"

"Guess I played a mind game of my own," noted Catwoman with pride.

"Very well," said Shiva, getting her phone. "I will call the police to come here. I will also tell them of my part in creating this army of criminals." It was over.

"You've got great hair," said Nightwing to Batgirl.

Batgirl loved hearing that. "It's available back at your house."

"I guess I should go to a late movie tonight?" asked Catwoman.

Batgirl and Nightwing nodded.

"Then I'll stay at the place just long enough to change into street clothes," Catwoman smiled at the young lovers. "Then I'll leave you two alone."

"Before you do," said Batgirl. "Thanks. You saved the case for us."

"My pleasure," said Catwoman.

**Batman's perspective:**

"Batman," Batman heard a voice calling for him. "I know you're out there. Come out or you pals get it!" Batman got out from under the shirt rack and walked towards the voice. Robin and The Huntress were out cold. In front of their resting bodies was a muscular and seemingly well-prepared man.

"Honor to meet ya," said the man. "Call me The Fox. I'm looking to get the price on your heads. I've met your kids before, but I do believe this is the first I've seen of you. You don't look so good. You better give up."

But Batman was not abandoning his sidekick or, although they had not been getting along lately, the usual ally of the team known as The Huntress, in their hour of need. The Dark Knight clenched his fists.

"Your funeral," said The Fox as he advanced towards Batman. Before Batman knew it, he had been punched. It was not that The Fox was fast. It was that The Huntress' sedating dart was still in Batman's system. A second punch knocked Batman down.

"Get up," challenged Fox. "So I can knock you back down." Batman concentrated. He needed perfect control of himself to hopefully get back into form ahead of schedule. If he could not, he was finished.

Batman stood. He delivered a punch that only made The Fox smile. Batman blocked a few punches before kneeing Fox in the gut. "Might hafta break a sweat," he admitted. He swung a roundhouse punch that Batman dodged and countered with an elbow that knocked The Fox over. Fox got up only to be knocked back down with a roundhouse kick!

"Give it up," suggested Batman.

"To a half-dead guy?" sneered The Fox. "Never." Batman threw a left and a right, but his blows were blocked and he found his fingers intertwined with those of The Fox. Batman found himself in a bout of Roman knuckle, not what he needed when in a woozy state. The temporarily superior strength of The Fox forced him to his knees.

"Gotcha," declared The Fox. But Batman was still confident. He was fighting for a city and his dead parents. All that motivated The Fox was greed so it was still The Dark Knight who wanted it more. Driven by determination, he slowly rose up to his feet, then headbutted The Fox three times until he was down.

"You ain't won nothin'," insisted Fox. "I'll do this again 'cause you don't got the guts to kill. And I ain't done nothing to get me arrested. You hear me? Nothing!"

"Don't push your luck," said Batman as he twisted the right leg of The Fox to tear although not break. Fox cried in pain as he realized that he would out of action for some time. A kick to the head knocked him out for the night.

Batman took Robin and The Huntress out of the place and to just outside the Batmobile. They were awakened by Batman.

The Huntress struggled fruitlessly as she realized that her hands were Batcuffed behind her back.

"Listen to me," said Batman. "You have every right to not trust Catwoman. But if she's a mistake, she's my mistake. Understand, Madam?"

Huntress waited a few seconds before finally saying, "Yes," under her breath.

"All right," said Batman, getting out the key to the Batcuffs.

"Hang on," said Robin. "She almost got us put away. I say we let her find her own way out of these."

"Tempting," Batman had to admit. "But the fact is that my decision to let Catwoman on this team is questionable. I don't blame her for what she did." Batman uncuffed Huntress.

"Just don't let her get into any trouble," warned The Huntress. "That's all." She backed away.

"Since we're wanted and just came out of a mall," said Robin, "We'd better vamoose ourselves."


	11. Becky The Hog on Trial

**Sargeant Renee Montoya's perspective:**

"Mom's nagging me," said Sargeant Montoya during a dinner at a fast food restaurant with her partner, Detective Harvey Bullock.

"'Bout what?" asked Bullock.

"She's upset that I'm pushing thirty and still not close to getting married," explained Montoya. She was always overprotective."

"You could marry me," joked Bullock.

Montoya grinned. "I'm not shallow about fat people, but Dad is. Unlike Mom, he's more concerned with me ending up with the wrong guy than being alone forever. You have no idea how often I've heard, 'He's not good enough for you.' And unless you hit the treadmill and learn better English, it's coming your way."

"I was just screwin' with ya," laughed Bullock.

Suddenly, five policemen lead by Commissioner Ronald Studge entered the restaurant and moved towards Bullock and Montoya.

"People use phones these days, Commish," said Bullock.

"Cuff 'em," Studge commanded his officers. As Bullock and Montoya were being handcuffed, Studge added, "You're under arrest for aiding and abetting an infamous criminal. You two have a right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you at no cost to yourselves."

"Calm down," Montoya tried to cool Bullock's temper. Studge may have known they had been helping The Batman and his friends, but that did not mean that he could actually prove it. Resisting arrest was exactly what he wanted.

**Two-Face's perspective:**

The man who had once been known as Harvey Dent was lying down in his cell and trying to sleep when he heard the sound of a cell wall being sawed by an unusually quiet saw. It was doubtful the sound went beyond the cell door. Two-Face looked. A large segment of the wall had been extracted. This had apparently been done by a man in an ancient-looking hooded robe. This man kept his head slightly down so that the hood concealed his face. "Come with me if you want to be free," said the hooded man with a computerized voice, no doubt re-modulated by a voicebox.

Two-Face ran after him. "You could give The Batman lessons on rescues." The stranger did not reply. Eventually, they reached a car and drove away. Several minutes later, the car slowed down. It was obvious why - if anyone had spotted them as they escaped, they had lost them.

"What do I owe you for this, stranger?" asked Two-Face.

"I want to help you get revenge on The Batman and Becky 'The Hog' Traylor," said Two-Face's rescuer.

"Stop the car," demanded Two-Face. It halted. "If it seems too good to be true..."

"I want them out my way, too," explained the mystery man. "Batman is a thorn in my side and let's just say I have a bone to pick with The Hog. But few were willing to help me take care of both of them."

"Good enough," said Two-Face. "Drive on." The car drove again.

"I have a hideout picked out for you, Harvey," said the mystery man. "Get a few accomplices and wait for my word."

"Who do I tell the gang you are?" asked Two-Face.

"You don't," said the mystery man. "I'll tell soon enough."

This was odd as could be. But Two-Face was free to continue his criminal career. That was the important thing.

**Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:**

As he clutched the bars of his jail cell, Marc Freeman realized that he had badly underestimated Commissioner Studge. Freeman had thought him to be no more than a "Yes-man," but he found out how Freeman, Bullock, and Montoya were sharing information with The Batman.

Freeman heard a quiet voice from the barred window of his cell say, "Over here." It was Batman. "I'll get you out, but you have to do exactly as I say."

"No," whispered Freeman. "We broke the law in helping you and are gonna be punished. You'd better forget about me, Bullock, Montoya, and do your usual duties."

"Surely you don't expect me to stand by as they send you to prison?" asked a surprised Batman.

"That's exactly what I expect - and I haven't been found guilty of anything yet," said Freeman. He took a deep breath. This would not be easy to explain to a civilian. "Listen, Batman, this is an embarrassing situation for me. But I have to go through it. I've been rounding people up and bringing them to justice since grade school. How can I take the easy way out now?"

"There won't be any justice," said Batman. "This town is run by a paranoid madman. And surely you'll encounter some old 'friends' in Blackgate Penitentiary."

"I know," said Freeman, gulping at that thought. "But I won't deny my uniform. Thanks for trying, but I can't accept this kind of help. I have to get out the right way."

**Batman's perspective:**

So Freeman had chosen to face the music. In truth Batman respected his decision. While Batman defended Gotham City from outside the law, Freeman _was _the law. Batman met his comrades back at the Batsub.

"They don't wanna come," said The Batgirl.

"Stupid," said The Catwoman.

"Don't judge," said Batgirl.

"Oh, I forgot," smiled Catwoman. "You're the daughter of an ex-cop."

"Look," said Robin. "There's a chance they'll get off, right?"

"Slim," said Batman. "They say they have witnesses to them talking to us without even trying to make an arrest."

"It could be a bluff," said Robin.

"It's not," said Batgirl faintly. "Dad told me that you don't make promises about witnesses that you can't keep. The defense will use that against you."

"This sucks," sighed Catwoman.

"Yes, it does," said Batman. "I never should have let them help us."

"It's not your fault," Catwoman tried to console him. "They wanted to help. Bullock and Montoya told us that. No one could have seen this coming. Not in a huge city like Gotham."

"I should have," insisted Batman. _I'm so sorry, officers. I will clear your names somehow. I just don't know when._

**Selina Kyle's perspective:**

Barbara Gordon had driven Tim Drake back to Gotham yet Selina remained in Wayne Manor.

"How can he take it so hard?" asked Selina.

"Master Bruce blames himself for wildfires in Asian jungles," joked Alfred. "For three policemen to be behind bars for helping him may be more than he can bear."

"Then I should try to cheer him up," realized Selina. Alfred nodded.

Selina entered Bruce's room and heard the sounds of a shower. Selina waited for him to bathe, dress and come out.

Bruce was surprised to see Selina there. "Can I help you?" asked the perplexed man.

_Got it backwards, sweety. _Selina walked over to Bruce and pressed her body against his. "I'm your first cat or you'd know that we tend to nuzzle against people we like." They kissed.

Selina had never been one to get up early. She had been a cat-burglar for nearly all her adult life. Night was the time for that career to an even greater extent than her current line of work. So it was 10:23 the next morning when she got up. She spotted a note on a small table beside the bed:

Thank you, Selina. I needed that  
Ask Alfred to prepare you  
something if you ever wake up.

Selina smiled at the indirect comment about how late she slept. _You've got a _s_ense of humor after all, Bruce._

**The Hog's perspective:**

Joey Traylor entered Becky "The Hog" Traylor's office at her rebuilt American South-themed restaurant, Country Buffet. "You wanted me in here, Aunt Becky?"

The Hog nodded. "Ah'm gonna be workin' late tonight on the day Ah'm supposed to be takin' my kids to a fun place of their choice."

"Say no more," said Joey. "Ah remember you havin' to do this for me and Dad 'cause he was thought to be the heir to grandpa and missed a few promises."

The Hog sighed. "Kids never understand. Gonna be tough to face mine tomorrow."

"Ah'll tell 'em how sorry you our, Aunt Becky," promised Joey. "Anything else?"

"Any word on my Little Bat?" asked The Hog.

"We've got word he tried to rescue those cops who were in cahoots with him," explained Joey. "They decided they wanna be in jail."

"Idiots," said The Hog. "You can go." Joey did.

The Hog hoped her children would forgive her. As for Batman, the good news was that he was alive. Bad news? He had not been caught and left with no choice but to accept The Hog's help and affections.

**Luke Traylor's perspective:**

"We had a great time, Joey," said a happy Luke as he and his sister, Marcia, were taken away from Kiddy Land, a place with electronic games, lower-tech activities, and a restaurant, all geared towards children.

"Anything for my cousins," smiled Joey to his young cousins.

"Wish Mama could've come," lamented Marcia.

"She wanted to, trust me," vowed Joey. "You'll understand someday." As they neared Joey's car, his phone rang. "Get in. Ah gotta take this."

Luke and Marcia got in. "Ah had more fun," said Luke.

"_Ah _had more fun," said Marcia.

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Meeeee!"

Before this argument escalated further, the car had started driving. "Sorry, Joey," apologized Luke and Marcia, knowing that their older cousin would not approve of them shouting at each other over nothing.

But then the driver turned to face them, revealing a man with a half-scarred head. "You're grounded, brats," he smiled evilly at them.

"Ew," exclaimed Marcia. "That's gotta hurt!"

"Shut up, Marcia," said Luke. "We ain't supposed to talk to strangers."

The driver flipped a coin and drew a pistol. "Then the coin says that you can talk to this."

Luke and Marcia hugged each other in terror. "It'll be OK, just don't make 'im mad," said Luke, knowing that he had to take care care of his little sister. But he knew full well that they were in terrible danger.

"Call us Two-Face," the scarred driver identified himself. "We're enemies of your mother. She and your grandpa made us the men we are tonight. We want revenge. And thanks to you, we're gonna get it. But you don't have to be alive. Our other personality would cry himself to death if we ended you, but that's just more motivation for me. No trouble, brats!"

Luke and Marcia nodded slowly. That night had gone south for them really quickly!

**The Hog's perspective:**

"What's the matter with you?" asked The Hog, who was being visited at Country Buffet by her nephew. "You said Ah needed to stay here 'cause of somethin' important, but now you're quiet. What's goin' on."

"A... A... Ah got ambushed," explained joey. "The kids have been taken away. Ah'm so sorry."

"It ain't your fault," said The Hog, clenching her fists in grief. "Ah gotta lotta enemies. Should've known and not sent anybody in what should've been my place."

"Here, Aunt Becky," Joey handed her a note. "Found this in my shirt pocket." The Hog read it.

Dear fat piece of white trash,  
meet me on Lead Lane  
Tomorrow at eight. I'll trade you  
For the smaller trash. Otherwise,  
they go in a can. Signed, Two-Face

"Sumbitch," cried The Hog. "Why the Hell didn't Ah keel the piece of shit when Ah had the chance? She-ut! Papa's dead 'cause of him. And 'cause Ah failed him. Now he's got my kids. If Ah let 'im waste Luke and Marcia too, Ah don't wanna go on livin'."

"What are you sayin'?" asked Joey.

The Hog paused. "We're makin' the trade. No arguments, Joey. Get your father in here." Joey did just that.

"Ah'll leave you two alone," Joey bid his father and aunt goodbye.

"After tomorrow," said The Hog, "You're in charge."

"Becky, no," said Al. "Watchin' 'im take Dad away from us was bad enough. Not you."

"Those are my _kids_ he's got," said The Hog. "What if it had been Joey and he wanted to trade for you?"

"Ah'd probably do the same thing you're doin'," Al admitted.

**Batman's perspective:**

The next evening, Batman and Robin were spying on the second floor windows of Country Buffet.

"The Hog's in a bad mood," realized Batman.

"But why?" asked Robin.

"I intend to find out," resolved Batman. "Wait here." He Batgrappled to the window of The Hog's office, opened the window. This time he did not bother trying to be quiet. The Hog always seemed to know he was there. She had a crush on him and seemed to know him as well as a woman would know her boyfriend. Batman feared at times that the feeling was mutual, despite The Hog's enormous, if extremely muscular, girth. Now that Batman was in a relationship, feelings for the murderous gangster were especially forbidden.

"What brings you here this time, Little Bat?" asked The Hog as she swiveled around to face him.

"You're upset," said Batman. "Why?"

"It's your imagination," said The Hog. Ordinarily, she lied like a politician, but this time, Batman saw through it.

"I don't think so," said Batman.

"Ah ain't got no time to wipe the floor with you again," said The Hog.

"You know that's the only way to get me," said Batman. _That's right. Attack! Then I'll be able to squeeze it out of you._

But The Hog controlled her temper. "Ah said, get out!" As Batman walked away, The Hog added, "Wait. You know my feelings. Have Ah ever... tempted you?"

Batman faced her. Unable to say no, The Dark Knight asked, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," grinned The Hog. "You can go. Ah got my answer."

As Batman climbed back into the window, The Hog revealed. "You always hit my sweet spot!"

Meeting back up with Robin, The Boy Wonder said, "So what's eating her?"

"Something is," said Batman. "Something that, it goes without saying, could be trouble. Call Batgirl and Catwoman. Ask where they are and have them wait for you. I'll keep an eye on The Hog myself. One person has a better chance of going unnoticed."

Robin called Batgirl and Catwoman, then left upon having been told where they were. Batman kept an eye on The Hog's office. Eventually, she, Al, and Joey all left Country Buffet in the same car. _Suspicious._

To avoid being spotted, Batman followed on foot and with Batgrapple. This plan failed failed. The car sped up , took every possible turn, and frequently moved around cars. Eventually, Batman lost the Traylors.

**The Hog's perspective:**

"Yee-haw," cried Al. "Ah've lost the sumbitch. Sure wish Ah could get you outta all your trouble, Sis."

"You've done enough," said The Hog. "What happened to my kids is my fault. But Ah can make it right... Ah hope." They reached Lead Lane. Two-Face and two of his men were there with Luke and Marcia.

Al stopped the car. He, The Hog, and Joey got out.

"Mama," cried Luke and Marcia.

"You first," insisted Two-Face. The Hog slowly walked towards him. "Careful," Two-Face said to his men. "The fat chick from Dixie may not look like it, but she's one of the strongest people in the world! They do come faster, though. Keep your guns on 'er and we'll be fine."

"Only Ah won't, right?" asked The Hog. "What are you waitin' for? Turn the kids loose!"

"We don't have to," said Two-Face.

"You wouldn't," shouted Joey.

Two-Face flipped his coin. The clean side won. "Of course not. Go to the men over there, dear children, and have a safe night." The children ran towards Al and Joey.

"What about Mama?" asked Marcia.

"No," screamed Luke as he tried to run towards the criminals holding his mother hostage, only for Al to hold him back.

"She wants this," said Al. "She's given her life for you. Don't forget her. Don't let your kids forget. Then you'll never really lose her."

"Take me to your place now," demanded The Hog to Two-Face. "Don't make this any harder on them than it already is."

Two-Face at least allowed her that. Becky "The Hog" Traylor was taken to the warehouse that Two-Face now called home. Because of her incredible strength, The Hog was placed in a room and chained to a stretcher.

"Y'know, if Ah'd had the guts to shoot that rottin' head of yours off," The Hog took a parting shot, "And trust that your men wouldn't have had the stones to shoot the hostages, you never would've had a chance."

Two-Face laughed. "If you think you're upset now that you didn't, just wait!"

"What are you waitin' for?" asked The Hog. "Do it, you asshole!"

"Patience, flabby," said Two-Face. He left. After awhile, a man in a hooded robe. entered the robe and stood on the stretcher, straddling The Hog.

"You ain't scarin' me, Two-Face," snorted The Hog. "Ah know it's you."

"It's not me," said Two-Face from outside. "Now that's cleared up, We'll leave you two alone."

The robed man threw back his hood, unstrapped a voicebox from his throat, and looked down on The Hog.

It was Al.

The Hog gasped. "You?"

"Me," said Al. "Ah'm the one who busted Two-Face outta the clink. Ah'm how he knew where your kids would be."

The world stood still. The Hog had been betrayed to her death by her own brother. She had to know more before that happened. "If you've been behind all this, how come you tried to talk me out of tradin' myself away?"

"Because Ah knew you expected me to," said Al.

The Hog chuckled. "Ah can't believe Ah didn't see it comin'. Ah knew of your discontent. The fact that Ah almost let myself die when The Scarecrow and Kalibak wrecked our precious, original, restaurant, and you didn't do nothin' to stop me from committin' suicide."

"Of course you couldn't put two and two together, Sis," said Al. "That Russian we put outta business two years ago may have been a sexist asshole, but he was right about one thing. You're weak."

"That's why you betrayed me, huh?" realized The Hog.

"And that you were never going to put loyalty to our..." said Al before The Hog cut him off.

"How dare you talk about loyalty?" asked an exasperated Hog. "You who allied with a sworn enemy of our family, kidnapped my kids, am ready to help him kill your own sister? But first, seriously, why? Please tell me it's not that Papa makin' me the boss hurt your ego this much."

"It ain't that," said Al. "You squander opportunity after opportunity. First time you met The Batman, you beat 'im, and that takes some doin'. He should've gone to Heaven then and there. That episode's been playin' out again and again for years. You gotta schoolgirl crush on that obstacle between us and control of this here joint and won't grow out of it."

"Half the girls in town do," said The Hog.

"Half the girls ain't head of our family," said Al. "Ah got to thinkin' maybe Ah needed to do this when we elected a puppet Mayor and you gave him up."

"Has guilt rotted your brain?" asked The Hog. "Ah had to give him up to save you."

"Ah know," said Al. "Ah was glad to die for the family, but you didn't have the nerve. Then Bats' face on Gotham's Most Wanted gave me an idea of teamin' with the cops to get rid of him once and for all! You shot down that idea on arrival. Face it, you can't kill him. You're too soft to put your feelins aside and get another guy."

"So because you think your sister's let down the family, you turned on her, your nephew, and your niece," said The Hog, getting angrier by the second. "What a family man you are."

"Exactly," said Al. "Ah do believe Two-Face's men have spotted your Little Bat comin' here. Must've picked up your trail. We'll see if he comes to your rescue or if you and the man you love more than your own family are to die together."

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman had found the car that Two-Face had taken The Hog away in near a warehouse. As much as few would have missed Gotham's leading gangster, Batman could not let Two-Face kill her. But when it was over, Batman had to be ready to fight The Hog off. This would be all the excuse she needed to show her "gratitude" with strength-based seduction.

Batman entered through a window. He saw what looked like Two-Face and tackled him.

_A mannequin. It's a trap!_

Too late. Before Batman had even gotten up, he felt two shots rip into him. Only his armored suit kept him alive. But five men then moved in and subdued him with punches. Batman saw that the leaders were Two-Face and Al Traylor.

"You've turned on your own sister?" asked a surprised Batman to Al. "I didn't think you sink this low."

"Speaking of her," said Al, "Do you return her affections? Ah sure hope so, 'cause you're dyin' together as a last favor to her."

Batman was taken into a room to see The Hog chained to a stretcher.

"We've always been linked, Little Bat," smiled The Hog. "Deny it if you want, but it's the truth. Guess this is a fittin' way to go out."

"Ah'd rather not hurt you anymore, Sis," said Al, "So you'll get it first."

"Not so fast," said Two-Face. "We have to flip."

"She's a killer," said Al. "Not that I ain't one, but don't that mean Harvey Dent hates her as much as Two-Face?"

"Yeah," said Two-Face. "But Dent believes that everyone is innocent until proven guilty." He flipped a coin. "She gets a trial for the crimes she's committed."

"Give 'er nothin," insisted Al. "Just let me shoot 'er. Please, the longer this takes the more it'll..." Two-Face pointed a pistol at him. "...Hurt."

"You interfere, you get whacked first," threatened Two-Face. He handed a list to one of his men. "Boys, you've got the witnesses. We also want the furniture of a courtroom. Batman will defend The Hog. He wins, The Hog roams free again. He loses, they eat lead burgers."

"Fittin'," Al had to admit. "This don't change nothin', Sis. It just delays the inevitable. And our pain."

Two-Face cut off Batman's belt with a pocketknife. "Get the medicine out," requested The Hog. Two-Face searched through pouches until he got some medicine for treating wounds and left it on the ground. He took the belt out of the room, leaving Batman and The Hog locked together, with no way to escape with Batman's tools and The Hog's strength gone.

"Defend you?" asked Batman.

"Eh-eh," said The Hog. "First things first. Treat your wounds. Before they get any worse." Batman used the medicine to do this. The wounds inflicted by Two-Face and Al's shots burned for a moment before easing a bit.

"Ah had to nag my late husband 'bout seein' a doctor," grinned The Hog. "What is it with men that they won't get treated on time, especially in front of a woman?"

"As I was saying," said Batman, "Defend you? You're a gangster."

"A gangster that you can't turn down this time," cackled The Hog. "By the way, seein' as how Ah'm chained down and you're a dominant man..."

"Don't even think about it," said Batman.

**Daisy Thompson's perspective:**

Daisy Thompson (cousin of The Hog and Al) was awakened by hands on her arms. She was being dragged away by three men.

"You're gonna regret this," she said. "Do you know who you're dealin' with?"

"Better than you know," said one of the men. "Relax," we just want you to testify."

"No court's gonna accept a testimony that you got like this," said Daisy. No answer. Instead, she was being taken out of her house, loaded in a car and driven away.

_This don't make no sense. Why get me for a testimony if it ain't gonna count? These can't be agents. Were they kiddin' around about me testifyin'?_

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

Barbara was getting ready to go to work the next morning when her phone rang. "Hello?"

"Sorry to wake you so early," said Selina Kyle, "But this is an emergency! Alfred says Bruce never came back last night."

"What?" asked Barbara. "Why?"

"Don't know," said Selina. "I called Tim. He says Bruce was following the Traylors somewhere."

"Oh, no," Barbara realized what that had to mean. "Suit up. Tim's gotta go to school It'll look too suspicious if he's neither there nor sick at home.

"If Bruce's dead," said Selina, "There'll be Hell to pay."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl and Catwoman saw Al Traylor working in The Hog's office.

"I don't get it," said Catwoman. "What's he doing there?"

"Let's find out," said Batgirl.

They went through a window, sneaked up behind Al, and turned his chair around to face them.

"This is serious and you're a married man," said Batgirl, "So keep those eyes up and listen. Why are you running your family business and where's The Batman?"

"Ah don't know anything about Bats," said Al. "As for my sister, she's on vacation."

_And I can only guess what that "vacation" is. Poor Batman, always attracting the wrong ones._

"You better sing, canary," threatened Catwoman as she showed Al her claws, "Or you're a cat's bird."

"Forget it," said Batgirl. "He's the kind of family criminal who'll die before talking. I've got a better idea. Let's go." They left.

Batgirl and Catwoman kept watching The Hog's office. Eventually, Al left. But his workday was not even close to finished. Batgirl entered it and saw that Al had left his South Carolina Gamecocks hat behind (it was not proper business attire) and placed a Bat Tracer in a fold of cloth inside it. With luck, Al would lead Batgirl and Catwoman to Batman.

Back where Catwoman was waiting, Batgirl said, "Barbara and Selina have time to kill until he's off work."

"No thanks," said Catwoman.

"Live a little. There's nothing we can do for Batman in the meantime anyway. Besides, from past experience, The Hog won't let him get killed until a long while of him refusing to get involved with her. We've time."

**Batman's perspective:**

"What's the matter, Little Bat?" asked The Hog hours later. "You're my... lawyer, Ah guess, but you ain't said two words to me today."

"Understand me, Hog" said Batman. "This is business and a mutual need. Nothing more."

Two-Face entered the room. "It's time," he said. One of his men pushed The Hog on her stretcher to the core of the warehouse. Batman was handcuffed and lead to that same place by the other two.

This area looked very, very different. There were tables and stands for a judge and witness. Al, wearing a judge's robe, climbed up the judge's stand with a gavel.

"You're the judge?" asked The Hog.

"No talkin' in court," Al banged his gavel. "Shut up or Ah'll hold you in contempt or somethin'."

"Ah don't think we can get a fair trial," whispered The Hog.

"Considering what you've been doing your whole life," whispered Batman, "I hope you can see the irony." Still, he knew that not even Becky "The Hog" deserved this.

"OK, Two-Face," said Al. "Start prosecutin'."

Two-Face sighed. "Dammit, Al, you're supposed to mention the charges and say, 'Court is now in session.'"

"Gimme a break," said Al. "Ah don't watch courtroom dramas. Why are lookin' at me like Ah'm an idiot?"

"Because you are an idiot," Batman heard The Hog whispering to herself.

"Never mind," said Two-Face. "We'll call our first witness."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

The Batmobile trailed the electronic signal that the Bat Tracer was giving off. Suddenly, Batgirl hit the brakes.

"Why are we stopping?" asked Catwoman.

"Because Al left the Bat Tracer in a police station," said Batgirl.

"Is he being questioned?" asked Catwoman.

"No, he's left it in there to get us in trouble," said Batgirl. The sirens of police cars began sounding. "And I've figured this out too late." She turned the Batmobile around and hit the gas.

Batgirl opened the front shield. "Look behind us. Are we being chased?"

Catwoman took a quick look behind and said, "Yeah. So much for our rescue mission."

Fortunately, the cars were no match for the top end of the Batmobile. By the time it reached the other end of town, all its tails had been long since shaken.

"Al's getting better," Batgirl admitted. "May not have gotten us caught, but he did lose us. Now we're back to having no leads."

"No," screamed Catwoman. "There's gotta be something. There's gotta... poor Batman."

"Yeah," said Batgirl. She knew Catwoman had to be taking this even harder.

_Stay alive, Batman. We need you!_

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman had to learn faster than he ever had in his life. He had to excel as a lawyer even though his trades were business and fighting crime. His life depended on it.

"There's no doubt in your mind your that Mrs. Traylor runs the organization that got your husband killed for failing the assignment?" asked Two-Face to a woman on the witness stand.

"None," said the woman. "I loved him so much. She took him from me." She pointed at The Hog.

"Did you?" whispered Batman.

"It's hard to keep all the cases like this straight," whispered The Hog.

_I thought you had._

Two-Face walked over to Batman. "Your witness."

"You said my..." Batman still had a hard time wrapping his mind around this. "...My client employed your husband, but you also said he was part of a chop shop. But The Hog ran no chop shops until she took over the mobs two years ago."

"I didn't know that," said the woman.

"Do you know for a fact if that chop shop was owned by the Traylors?" asked Batman.

The woman paused for a few seconds before saying, "No, I don't."

"Objection," stated Two-Face. "She has not said that it wasn't either, and given this family's dominance of the Gotham underworld, it's very likely she was responsible for the death of this young lady's husband."

"The prosecution has the full burden of proof," countered Batman. "You should know that, Harvey."

"Sustained," said Al. "Since this testimonies burns my sister, why not just shoot 'em and be done with it?"

"Because Mr. Batman is in the right," Two-Face growled in frustration. "I don't like it anymore than you, but it's the rules. Anytime you make a ruling that is obviously wrong, we flip. If that weenie Dent wins, we withdraw our case."

"Ah'm makin' the same mistake again and again," said a frustrated Al. "First Ah let Bats soften up my sister for years, then Ah get with a guy who's got a borin', self-righteous, do-gooder side to his personality. Overruled."

With the court accepting that The Hog had not necessarily caused the death of the witness' husband, Batman obviously had no further questions.

"The people withdraw a pair of witnesses who Mr. Batman can use the same arguments against," Two-Face admitted. "But we have one who won't be so easily dismissed."

Two-Face's men brought Daisy Thompson to the witness stand. "Pushy assholes," complained Daisy.

"Do you swear to tell the truth?" asked Al. Batman knew that was not the full question that was intended to guarantee a witness' honesty. _This is by far the sloppiest "trial" I ever heard of!_

"Yeah," said Daisy.

Batman quietly noted, "She looked liked like she was taking that very seriously."

"Ah know," whispered The Hog. "She never had the stomach for extralegal shit even though she was good at marketin'. That's why she'll never have a shot at runnin' the business. Ah fear she's gonna be too big a coward to protect me."

"Character is not cowardice," disagreed Batman. But The Hog was right. This testimony may have been about to make this an indefensible case.

"Did an attack on former District Attorney Harvey Dent scar him for life years ago?" asked Two-Face.

"Don't you remember?" asked a surprised Daisy. "It was you who was scarred."

"For the record," Two-Face pushed the matter.

_Unlike Al, Two-Face loves law. Half of him does, anyway._

"Y-yes," confirmed Daisy.

"Why did it happen?" asked Two-Face.

"DA's have enemies," said Daisy.

"Do you have reason to believe that you know who ordered the attack on Mr. Dent?" asked Two-Face.

"N..." Daisy froze for a moment. "Ah'm sorry, Becky. Yeah, she ordered the attack."

"Objection," said Batman. "Why does she believe this?"

Al hesitated before uneasily saying, "Sustained."

"She talked about it after the fact," said Daisy. The proverbial knife was in the flesh.

"No further questions," said Two-Face.

Batman walked towards Daisy. _I can't defend The Hog against that. I had a feeling this was coming. Wait! There might be one thing._

"You're certain your cousin was behind the attack that scarred Mr. Dent?" asked Batman.

"Yeah," said Daisy.

"Why did she attack?" asked Batman.

"How come you're not objectin'?" interjected Al with a look at Two-Face.

"Motive is relevant," Two-Face set Al straight.

"Becky wanted to stop Dent from handling the case against Uncle Reggie, the boss before her," explained Daisy. "What does it matter?"

"Good question," said Al. "Gimme a reason to let you punch holes in her right now or Ah'll end this."

Two-Face made no response. Batman needed to answer. "The slightest detail may be important."

Al made no move to end the cross-examination, so Batman continued, "Did taking Dent out of action necessarily mean killing him?" asked Batman.

"No, I don't think so," said Daisy.

"Objection," said Two-Face. "He used a knife."

"It could've been used only to injure you," said Batman.

"You don't believe that," laughed Two-Face.

"It's unlikely but possible," said Batman. Turning to Daisy he said, "How long a sentence do you think aggravated assault should get?"

"Years in prison," Daisy smiled, evidently figuring out Batman's plan.

"But this 'court' wants death sentences," said Batman.

"Where did Ah go wrong," Al despaired.

"Any more witnesses?" asked Batman.

"No," said Two-Face. "But we only agreed to let you go if you won the case, not turn ourselves in." He flipped his coin. Scarred side came up. He used a pocketknife to cut The Hog free and unlocked Batman's handcuffs with a key. "It's on!"

Al and Two-Face's men drew guns, But as Batman rushed the three henchmen to knock their guns away, The Hog picked up and threw the stretcher that she had previously been contained with at the judge's stand, knocking it - and Al over.

Punches and kicks finished Two-Face's men. A boxing combination from Two-Face himself knocked Batman down to a knee, but he caught Two-Face's arm by the wrist as the next punch was attempted. Batman countered with a body blow, right cross, backhand, and headbutt to knock Two-Face out.

**The Hog's perspective:**

The Hog saw that Al had painfully gotten out from under the fallen stand and was crawling to reach the gun that he had dropped when he fell. As he got it, The Hog's right foot fastened it to the ground.

"You OK, big brother?" asked The Hog. Despite her compassionate words, she was still extremely angry with her sibling.

"Do it," said Al. "Make me pay for betrayin' you. Maybe then you'll get it in you to cook Bats for supper. Hell, do 'im first. You got a gun down there. Two-Face took his toys away."

The Hog looked at Batman. That would have made things so much easier. But he had saved her life. The Hog kicked Al out. She walked up to Batman with a smile. "This is the second time you've saved me."

"To save myself," said Batman.

"Ain't the whole story," said The Hog. She was face-to-face with him. It was hard to tell if he was going for her or not.

"I'm surprised I didn't have to pull you off your brother," said Batman.

"Ah'd be lyin' if Ah said Ah wasn't more pissed than a western buffalo," admitted The Hog.

"Bison."

"Whatever, Professor Batman."

"If you hate him so much, why did you spare him?"

"No matter what he did to me, he's still my brother."

As The Hog leaned forward, Batman stopped her with an interesting question: "Do you realize now what comes of your trade?"

The Hog thought. She walked over to Al and picked him up as she did. "Ah'll take him in, Little Bat. Just as you would've..." Batman was gone. "Coward!"

**Bruce's perspective:**

"So that's why it took me so long to get back," said Bruce in his mansion to Alfred, Barbara, Tim, and Selina.

"I shouldn't have underestimated your ability to get out tight spots," said Selina as she put a hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"This time," said Bruce, "Batman can't take all the credit. The Hog probably could have killed him. She didn't."

"What else is new?" asked Barbara. "That overweight girl's helplessly in love."

"It was more than that," suggested Bruce. "I got a sense of doubt. That her belief that the terrible things she did were made up for by country/family values might be wrong. Almost as if for the first time, she's questioning the path Reggie Traylor put her on from birth."

"You're not suggesting she could change?" asked Tim.

"I did," Selina reminded everyone.

"Indeed," said Alfred. "People _can _change, but it would not be wise to bet the house on it."


	12. Plants and Zombies

**Batman's perspective:**

The brief periods of no archcriminals on the loose were cherished by The Batman, although thanks to the arrest orders on him and his allies these days, less so.

But Batman had instincts. They told him something very big was soon to go down!

"You're scared, big guy," said The Catwoman as they was watched for crimes from a rooftop.

"No, I'm not," insisted Batman. "Just concerned something very bad is about to happen."

"In most cities, I'd call you paranoid," smiled Catwoman. " But in Gotham, if you're not worried, you're stupid."

**The Hog's perspective:**

Becky "The Hog" Traylor had called her nephew, Joey, and family accountant/lawyer Yuji Takahan.

"First things first," The Hog looked sympathetically at Joey. "Joey, Ah hope you understand why your father's in jail."

"Yeah," said Joey. "He did wrong. Can't blame you."

The Hog nodded. "Still, this can't be easy for you."

"It ain't," confirmed Joey. He walked over to his aunt, who got out of her desk and the two hugged.

"Very touching," said Yuji. "But what does this have to do with me?"

"The Batman saved my life yesterday," explained The Hog. "Ah wanna do 'im a favor. Those cops who just got arrested for helpin' him?"

"Will do," promised Yuji.

"Tell 'em it's on me," said The Hog. "Go." Yuji left for the Gotham City Detention Center.

"Am Ah excused too?" asked Joey.

"No," said The Hog, thoughtfully putting her hands on her hips. "Ah've been thinkin' of my brother's betrayal and how so many back home said that no matter how traditional we were, we weren't a true Southern family."

"They were wrong," said Joey.

"That's what Ah thought," said The Hog. "But when a woman can't even trust her brother..."

"So we're goin' legit?" asked Joey.

"Did Ah say we were makin' any changes?" asked The Hog. "Ah wanna think about this. Ah'll let you know."

**Lieutenant Marc Freeman's perspective:**

Freeman, Detective Harvey Bullock, and Sargeant Renee Montoya had been indicted and the jury had been selected. It was time to start forming their strategy with their lawyer, Anita Boggs.

Suddenly, a guard and an Asian man entered the room. "Sorry to butt in," said the guard, "But another lawyer's apparently late." The guard left and shut the door to the room for inmates and their lawyers.

"Come to gloat to the fallen cops, Takahan?" asked Montoya.

"Actually, I'm here to help," said Yuji Takahan.

"I'll get out any way I can," said Bullock, "But I don't think we can afford you."

"My boss is paying," said Yuji.

But Freeman was very suspicious of the mob lawyer's offer. "What do you want?"

"It's a favor she owes to a friend of yours," said Yuji. "No strings attached."

"There better not be," said Freeman.

"Hold on," said Anita. "I don't trust this one."

"Maybe not," Yuji smiled. "But at least I get clients off."

"My clients are gangsters," said Anita. "They're troubled souls who need help and dammit, I get it for them."

"So you say," chuckled Yuji.

"Enough," declared Freeman. "You're working together on this case."

"Seeing as how my success rate is so much greater than Mrs. Boggs' and she's compromised by having to care for her son and stay-at-home husband," argued Yuji, "I think I'd be slowed down by her."

"He may not know different," said Anita, "But I do. We don't need this slime dirtying up on our case."

"Anita's ethical and pleasant personality will make for a fine opening statement and closing argument," said Freeman. "Yuji will handle the case itself. No arguments. We're the clients. We make the decisions. Get along."

Anita and Yuji obviously did not like each other, but neither did they object.

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

Poison Ivy was a patient woman. She had spent the last few months growing a pot of roses in Arkham Asylum's laboratory. She smiled. It was time.

"Let them smell you," said Ivy. Because of the pheromones and venom throughout her body, Ivy was forced to wear a radiation suit outside of her cell, but that would no longer be an impediment. She took the roses around Arkham. The guards, lab workers, and other inmates grew sick.

"Don't worry," grinned Ivy as she took a keycard away from a sickly and fallen guard's pocket. "This aroma won't kill you. It won't even hurt in the long run. You even have an excuse for lying down on the job. All it does is give me my ticket out of here."

And so it was. Ivy walked out of the lab and as she was being spied on by a security camera, she lied, "I do believe these roses aren't my best work." Because no one would be able to disprove that this was an accident that Ivy took advantage of, the guards were not allowed to use guns, so all who tried to thwart her escape suffered the same fate as those in the lab. At one point, Ivy had taken the keys of a guard she recognized. This enabled her to heist a car, exit the institution, and drive away.

Ivy smiled on the drive to Gotham. She was free for the first time in the longest time since her career as an eco-crusader had begun. But next came the hard part. That career of hers had been very frustrating. No matter how well she had planned things out, The Batman and his allies, particularly The Batgirl, had always managed to thwart her. True, she managed to bring The Dark Knight to death's door in their first meeting, but that was Ivy's last true success story.

The last failure she had never forgiven herself for. It was the time she and her friend, Harley Quinn, had manipulated the godlike beast known as Bizarro into their service. They defeated all their enemies, but Ivy accepted a surrender from Batman that her instincts told her was insincere. It was believed by most to be arrogant joy on Ivy's part at seeing her foes give up.

But Poison Ivy knew part of it was a desire to remain an innocent girl on some level. So she let Batman and his friends live to concoct a plan that freed Bizarro from Harley and Ivy's control. Ivy had the world and its salvation under her green thumb. But she let it slip away because she could not bear the shame of killing a man who _seemed _to be begging for his life. She would not make that mistake again. Saviors of the world did not get to be innocent. They had to make hard choices. Like the ones Ivy already had made.

**Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:**

"I don't want to hear any excuses," said the Mayor. "Ten months of this is enough. You have two more to catch Batman. That's a year's time. If you can't do it after that... Gordon should've shown you that no one's irreplaceable."

"We're doing our best," promised Commissioner Ronald Studge.

"Apparently, that's not enough," said Falsootu. "What's wrong with you? Have you no heart or determination? I want heroes on the force. What do I have? Bored federal mules. I want Batman caught or dead. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir," said Falsootu.

Falsootu hung up. "No wonder some people are crazy enough to buy into those costumed psychotics, what with the scrubs in the GCPD!"

"My tax dollars at work," agreed a feminine voice behind Falsootu and to his right. He looked in that direction. Poison Ivy stood in the corner of the office, smiling with her arms folded.

Falsootu knew what to do in this situation, but he was surprised to see Ivy do nothing about Falsootu getting his communicator. "Security?" No answer. "Security?"

Ivy kept smiling. "Love truly does conquer all. By the way, I hope, for your sake, that you realize that I'm just as out of your league as Batman. Sorry if you feel blue-balled, your honor."

Falsootu did not bother calling the police. They would take too long and behind the security guards and her seductive powers, Poison Ivy would likely defeat them as well. "What do you want?" Falsootu insisted.

"Relax," Ivy made an open-palm gesture with both hands in peace. "We are kindred, you and me. You know those loose cannons are threats to the city. They have been stopping me from saving the planet for years. I also know the police can't catch them, and that it's costing this city a lot of money. You can eat a hundred million dollars over the next two months or you can give it to me. Do so and in return, I'll send you some corpses for you to gloat over to the public, not to mention guarantee yourself a landslide reelection! Meanwhile, I'll leave this Hellhole behind to purify the planet. You'll never see me again."

Falsootu's gut told him that he could not beat this deal with a stick, but his head remained suspicious. "I need evidence of your trustworthiness before I'll deal with a terrorist," said Falsootu.

"Terrorist?" asked Ivy as she walked towards Falsootu. He felt a strange but pleasant sensation as Ivy drew near.

"I'm no terrorist," Ivy assured Falsootu. "I'm fighting to save Mother Earth from the forces of greed and neglect ravaging her. And the peaceful way has been tried for two generations and failed. I'm not a terrorist any more than the people who founded this great country of ours were."

Falsootu would have at least partially disagreed if not for the desire he felt for this woman. "I-I don't even know you."

Ivy wrapped her arms around Falsootu's neck. "Then get to know me." It felt like pleasurable electricity was flowing through Falsootu.

"I'm married," Falsootu made his last attempt to stop Ivy.

"Don't you have a girlfriend for Friday nights anyway?" asked Ivy as she kissed him. All thoughts of resistance vanished from Falsootu's mind.

"You've got a deal," smiled an ecstatic Falsootu.

"Good," Ivy smiled with an open mouth. "Just expect to hire new security guards. The ones you have now can't live without me."

_Hey, they didn't do such a good job of stopping her, so good riddance._

**Yuji Takahan's perspective:**

"...And so," Anita concluded her opening statement in court, "When all that can be said is said, I trust that this jury will come to realize that there is no reason to suspect these brave officers of wrongdoing and that attempting to aid a hero like The Batman is no real crime anyway."

_So she's quite the paragon of legal virtue that she seems. In both claiming that our clients didn't help The Batman and that it's actually good if they did, she's arguing in the alternative, or as laymen would say, being a hypocrite._

"As Mr. Jones and Mrs. Boggs have made their opening statement," said the balding, white-haired Judge Ray Thomas, "This court is adjourned for today." He banged his gavel. Freeman, Bullock, and Montoya were escorted back to jail.

As Yuji and Anita walked out of the courthouse together, Yuji had no choice but to compliment his nagging his disagreeable partner. "Fine opening statement, but we won't need you for awhile." He immediately realized that he had done it wrong.

"I can still give advice," said Anita.

"Save it," said Yuji. "You judged what I did yet used contradictory arguments to start things up. That is not a class act way to start."

Anita glared at him. "Just because I'm saying that they weren't aiding and abetting Batman doesn't mean I was saying that it was the end of the world. And I'm not going to be judged by a mob lawyer."

"Whatever you say, Madam," laughed Yuji. He sensed that he had gotten to Anita. That was what he wanted.

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

In the week that had passed since Poison Ivy had received the hundred million dollars in gold bricks (which she had sold on the black market), she and the henchmen she had seduced away from Falsootu's employ had been at work. They had acquired a lot of greenery, both from stores and the arms of greenery in the forest they had lodged in. True, Ivy hated doing this to plants, but it was not killing them. Besides, it was for the greater good.

Finally, it was time for Ivy's experiment. In the clearing of a forest north of Gotham, she and her men had hardened leaves and bark to create a "Plant zombie." He had a monstrous appearance, but if all went well, no one would laugh at him for long.

"I'll do the honors," Ivy flipped the switch. Through a tube hooked up to the plant man flowed a mix of seven potent liquids. Within minutes, it had all been injected into the plant zombie and he stood up.

"Follow me," said Ivy as she lead everyone in the room outside. Since he lacked a brain, the plant zombie was nearly mindless. So Ivy needed to make sure he at least had great strength. She pointed to a cinder block. "Lift that with one hand if it's not too much trouble, honey." The zombie did so. The cinder block seemed as light as a marble.

"Hold here to await new orders, my loyal soldier," commanded Ivy with pride. The zombie nodded. Ivy turned to her men. "Boys, this experiment has been a complete success." Ivy clapped her hands; her lovesick underlings smiled at their boss'es approval. "But your work is not done. I want thousands of these cute but scary creatures by next week. Succeed and you all get kisses from me." Most of the men were enthusiastic, but their leader, Fenix, seem a bit pessimistic.

"Madam Ivy," said Fenix, "That'll cost a few mill."

Ivy laughed. "Then I roll that stupid Mayor!"

**Yuji's perspective:**

Harold Fumar was on the witness stand. Prosecutor Ben Jones asked, "Do you know who you saw talking to Person #1 (Batman's designation in this case because false identities are frowned on by the courts)?"

"Yeah," said Harold, pointing to Yuji's clients.

After a few more obligatory but uneventful questions, a cocky Jones turned to his opponents and said, "Your witness."

Yuji walked to Harold. "How dark was it?"

"Objection," said Jones. "We've already established that it was almost pitch-black."

"Withdrawn," said Yuji before Judge Thomas could hurt his credibility by sustaining the objection. "What were the limits of your vision?"

"You're just tryin' ta find holes to punch in me," scoffed Harold. "I know you try ta do this to witnesses all the..."

Thomas banged his gave. "Order! You will answer question properly and respectfully."

Harold made no move to apologize for his totally true but undisciplined remark. Smelling blood, Yuji said, "I asked a simple question. Do you think this is a football game where you are supposed to hit your opponent?"

"Objection," Jones lawfully interrupted.

"You'll say anything," shouted Harold before Thomas could make a decision. "You deserve that family of killas."

"Your honor," said Yuji. "With the exception of the traitorous Al, the Traylor family hasn't been found guilty of anything. Witnesses are not supposed to get into wild speculation." Not that Fumar was wrong about the Traylors, but nothing had been proven.

"Indeed," agreed an incensed Thomas. "In fact, you've said more than enough, Mr. Fumar. Bailiff, get this young man out of my courthouse!"

"I want to approach," said Jones. Thomas paused before signalling to Yuji and Jones to do so.

"Your honor," whispered Jones, "I admit Mr. Fumar lacks decorum, but he is one hundred percent right. Nothing he has said has been wrong."

"I don't tolerate disrespect," whispered Yuji.

"Nor do I," Thomas glared at Jones. "Mr. Jones, your witness has disrupted this courtroom. You are hereby held in contempt. If we get another witness like this, there will be consequences."

"He was badgered," pleaded Jones. "Mr. Takahan was out of order himself."

"To your benches," said Thomas. With everyone sitting down, his voice rose so the jury could hear, "I apologize for the disturbance this young man has caused. Mr. Jones, I hold you responsible. And in contempt. One more witness like this and I you will spend all time not in court but in lockup for the remainder of this trial. Is that understood?"

"Yes, your honor," Jones said weakly.

As Harold was escorted out, Yuji smiled at Anita and their clients. "It's looking good."

"That was out of line," said Anita.

"Way out of line," agreed Freeman.

"I approve," said Bullock.

"Of course you do, Harv," Montoya shook her head. "You get a lot of citizens' complaints."

Yuji groaned at the condemnations he was getting. Why weren't they just happy to be a long way towards freedom?

**Batman's perspective:**

It had been nineteen days since Poison Ivy's most recent escape from Arkham. Nothing had been heard from her since then. Batman's team was gathered in the Batcave.

"I don't suppose you and Catwoman found Ivy, did you?" asked Batman to Batgirl. She shook her head.

"I'm vaguely aware of her," said Catwoman.

"She's one of the most dangerous people I ever met," said Batgirl.

"You're lucky you haven't had to deal with her yet," agreed Robin.

"And she's had a long time to come up with one of her misguided schemes," said Batman.

"Misguided?" asked Catwoman.

"She thinks terrorism is the way to save the environment," explained Batgirl.

"Honestly, part of me agrees," said Catwoman.

"She's a fanatic," explained Batman. "I'm very frustrated that we haven't located her yet."

"How do you think I feel about this?" asked Batgirl. "She's sore at me for the two times I had to pull you out of traps she set. No offense."

"Look," said Robin. "We know it's hard to find someone who prefers to live out in the country where there's so much land mass. We've just gotta keep looking."

"I agree," said Batman with determination.

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

Little did Batman know that he was not going to have to keep searching for Ivy any longer.

Fenix brought Ivy a meal of steak and eggs (she rejected fruit and vegetables out of pro-plant principle).

"You're not in charge of serving me dinner, Fenix," said a puzzled Ivy.

"Madam Ivy," said Fenix, "This is a special occasion. We're done."

"How many?"

"Forty-five thousand thirty-seven."

Ivy smiled wide and open. "You're kidding."

"Naw," said Fenix. "We counted 'em."

"We send forty thousand plant zombies out tomorrow," said Ivy. "But not before they're wired up so I can communicate with them. Meanwhile, some of you will be in Gotham watching the skirmishes with cameras. Since the zombies aren't very bright, I will guide them from here."

"You sure they'll take Gotham City?" asked Fenix.

"You're such a nervous nellie," said Ivy. "We've got an army of super strong, bulletproof monsters that's about to smash Gotham. Superman probably wouldn't make the difference, and he always seems to have super problems to deal with, anyway. Gotham is mine! And she's only the beginning! Go."

Fenix left and Ivy began eating. She was overjoyed.

_Amazing. All this time I had been trying to force the world to stop killing our planet with seduction and poison when a handmade army would have done a better job. No matter. The good people - the true good people - are finally going to win. As for my old 'friends' with a lamer than Hell obsession with flying animals, you better run while you still have the chance!_

**Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:**

Falsootu was in a state of shock and fear. Despite being unarmed, an army of plant-like people had annexed the northernmost district of Gotham. Greater strength and speed than human potential, not to mention bulletproof hides, was enabling them to defeat the police. Of course, more than a hundred had died in police casualties alone! It had all been on Falsootu's TV. Sure enough, he got the call.

"Mr. Mayor," said a calm but urgent-sounded Commissioner Studge.

"The press is covering this zombie apocalypse," said Falsootu. "And I do have a TV."

"Do you have any idea of who made these things?" asked Studge.

Falsootu knew all too well. "Poison Ivy."

"Good guess," said Studge, uncertain, "But how are you so damn sure?"

Falsootu realized that he had said too much. "I... well, how many other people are there with the know-how or inclination to build this army?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," realized Studge.

_Whew, that was close! _"Get back to work, Commissioner," ordered Falsootu. "Update me every twenty-five minutes." He was too emotionally involved to help but touch the "clear" icon on his phone before Studge had replied. The reason was because he understood the obvious. These creatures were what Ivy had spent the $100 million Falsootu had paid her on.

_This is all my fault! I wanted to destroy Batman so badly that I turned to a psychotic terrorist! I can tell myself that she seduced me, but I know she was able to do it in part because there was no price I would not pay to get the face behind Batman's cowl in Blackgate!_

Falsootu had to set things right. He phoned Poison Ivy.

"To what do I owe the honor, your honor?" asked Ivy festively.

"What the Hell's going on?" demanded Falsootu. "You said you'd use the money to kill Batman and then walk out of my life."

"I am altering the deal," said Ivy playfully. "Pray I don't alter it further."

"You watch too many movies," sighed Falsootu, recognizing the quote.

"Seriously," said Ivy, "I thought about it. Decided it wasn't right. You see, you're a part of the earth-killing establishment. Batman's only a misguided idealist. But don't get me wrong. Knowing him, he won't know what's good for him and he'll get himself killed."

"Listen," said Falsootu. "Let's make a deal. Surely there's some alternative to Armageddon."

Ivy burst out laughing. "You are pathetic! I scammed you like you've been doing to your constituents your whole career, and your solution is to make another deal with me? OK. Gather a lifetime supply of food and drink and fly to the South Pole. Don't think I need to do anything about that part of the world. How's that for a deal?"

Ivy hung up. Falsootu tried to redial. "I'm sorry," said the operator's recorded voice. "This number you have dialed is not a working number."

Falsootu buried his face in his hands, waiting for the Mayor's mansion to be smashed.

**Batman's perspective:**

The Batplane was in its new Stealth Mode, which used specific and controlled lighting to blend the parent airplane in with its surroundings, as well as signal-scrambling to hide its radar image. Batman, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Robin were inside. Their flight over some small towns just outside Gotham was finished.

"Doesn't look like anyone saw us," said Robin.

"Now can we go?" asked Batgirl. "Those sons of bitches have gotta be tearing Gotham up by now!"

"We had to build this camouflaging equipment _today_," Batman reminded the younger Bat. "We need the element of surprise it gives us to stand a chance. We also needed to test it. And I've warned you about watching your mouth."

"Do we stand a chance?" asked a worried Catwoman. "One vehicle against an army?"

"Optimism," preached Batman. "The element of surprise gives us a fighting chance, but not without hope. Believe you will fail and you will fail."

"Amen," agreed Batgirl.

Batman noticed that the army of plant zombies had reached downtown Gotham. He and his allies had been out of action too long. The Batplane flew over and dropped its bombs onto a line of zombies. Then it began swooping down and ramming zombies between pauses to wait for the camouflage to re-hide the Batplane from the zombies.

Combined with the explosives that the police were using, this seemed to have turned the tide; the zombies retreated to the northern part of town.

That area was less wide-open, giving the zombies the advantage; Batman chose not to pursue just yet. "They're getting orders to retreat," he said.

"How can you tell?" asked Catwoman.

"Because I'm detecting communicating signals to the helmets strapped onto their heads," said Batman.

"Someone's giving them orders," realized Robin. "The Traylors?"

"I worked for them for some time," said Catwoman. "They may be rednecks, but they're not stupid. They know better than to trust a psycho-bitch with this much power over them."

"Falsootu," Batman realized. "Yes, he can appropriate money for Ivy and is Hell-bent on catching us. He might be insane enough to do that."

"If you're questioning him," said Batgirl, "I'm coming along."

"No," said Batman. "You're too emotionally involved in light of what he did to your father. Don't. I'm not changing my mind. Your only concern is to keep close watch on whether the plant zombies leave that district."

Batman landed the Batplane and took a Batcycle stationed inside to drive to the Mayor's Mansion. The others lifted off again.

Batman saw some doberman pinschers just beyond Falsootu's gate. He threw a Batarang to lure them out. As they gathered around the spot the Batarang had hit and began barking and sniffing, Batman took them out with a Batgas pellet. _Good dogs._

Batman had long ago foreseen this night and memorized where the Mayor's office was. Instead of Batgrappling the roof of the mansion, Batman tied a Batarang around a Batrope to avoid being heard, and threw it up to the top. This enabled him to climb alongside the window. There he saw Falsootu, rifle in hand, scanning the ground for intruders, which the barking had clued him in on. Batman seized the gun and leapt into the office, tackling Falsootu.

"Don't. Make. Noise." Falsootu was too much of a primped blue blood to defy Batman's threat. Then again, maybe the only difference between him and Bruce Wayne was Bruce's quest; he could even be argued to be as paranoid and eccentric in his own way as Falsootu was in his. At least Bruce's demons were turned in the right direction.

"Poison Ivy didn't have enough money to make those alone," said Batman. "Did you help?"

"No," said Falsootu.

But Batman saw the lie in the Mayor's eyes and leaned in until Batman's own almost touched Falsootu's. "Did you?"

"O-OK, I did," squeaked Falsootu. "She said she'd take a menace to society out. I never meant for this to happen."

Batman knew who that "menace" was. "More than a thousand people are dead because of you. But now it's over. I recorded this conversation."

"Go ahead," grinned a somewhat more confident Falsootu. "Turning yourself in might buy yourself a lighter sentence."

"Have Ivy's pheromones gotten stronger?" asked Batman. Falsootu was clearly not understanding his situation.

"I'm right as rain," chuckled Falsootu. "You threatened me to get this confession. Inadmissible. But you have a price on your head."

_He's right. Dammit, he's right!_

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

_Should've known he'd have an ace up his sleeve._

Poison Ivy had been fighting Batman long enough to understand that he was full of surprises. Just when you thought he was dead, you were unconscious and being loaded back to Arkham. Ivy also knew that Batman just might be able to find her to force her to call off invasion of Gotham. Something had to be done.

She walked outside her cabin in the clearing of a forest and sought out Fenix. "Yes, Madam Ivy," smiled Ivy's love-struck second in command.

"I have reason to believe that my old enemy Batman is coming. Maybe as soon as tonight, so don't go to sleep."

"I'll give my life to save you," promised Fenix.

"Of course, you would," smiled Ivy with pride in how well her pheromonal magic had worked on her human cohorts, "but it need not be that extreme. There are hundreds of plant zombies between me and them. They'll be looking for an opening." She illustrated by holding her hands apart. "My plan is to give them that opening, then shut it on them!" She clapped. "Not unlike the way a flytrap catches its food.

"How?" asked Fenix.

"Simple," said Ivy. "Create a gap in their pacing every twelve minutes. Each of these gaps must last no more than three."

"Will they be added to our ranks?" asked Fenix.

"No," said Ivy. "I'll let you do what you want to anyone he brings along, but I want his head. It will demoralize the GCPD and enable us to quickly finish the conquest of Gotham. With its vast economic resources, the army will grow much larger. Unless they want to nuke millions of people, the U.S. government will have no choice but to surrender."

"Yes, ma'am," saluted Fenix.

**Batman's perspective:**

"There's so many," Catwoman looked in horror at the hundreds of plant zombie patrols just outside Poison Ivy's new stomping grounds. And Ivy had been smart enough to spread out the enclosures in which she and her seduced human henchmen now lived far enough apart that one could not Batgrapple across them. "How the Hell are we gonna get through? I was a world class cat-burglar, not an ant."

"We have to try, Catwoman," said Batman. "We only fended off the first attack because we caught Ivy's monsters by surprise. We'll never do that again."

"Besides," noted Batgirl, "The autopsies of the dead zombies indicate that most of them were activated a week ago. That means that Ivy can greatly increase their numbers in a day. If we're gonna take them out, it's got to be now!"

"I don't mean to sound negative," said Robin. "But Catwoman's right. They're everywhere."

"I know," said Batman.

"Then you know we'll get caught," said Catwoman.

"We've faced certain destruction before," Batman tried to keep spirits high. "You know this is the only way."

Before long, though, an opening between the zombie patrols opened up.

"Over there," Robin spotted it first. "We've got the break we're looking for."

"It's a trap," said Catwoman. "Ivy's probably got pot guys indoors watching that spot where we can't see them. Go there and we'll get pinched by those green and brown bastards!"

"It's also a chance," said Batman. "One that may be hard to get back. We run through the opening, full sprint! Anyone who makes it through doesn't stop until we reach that big building!" He pointed at it. "Ready... set... Go!"

And so they ran. As Batman expected, they were a third of the way through the unsecured spot when he heard a voice call, "There they are!"

Batman, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Robin formed a cross as the zombies came in at them. Each hero downed several before punches began landing on them. Eventually, they were all being held by several zombies.

"Don't kill 'em," said one man who must have just recently come outdoors. "Madam Ivy wants 'em. All of you holding one of them follow me." He lead the qualifying zombies towards the big building. At least it was where Batman and his allies wanted to be.

"Sorry to say, 'I told you so,'" said Catwoman sarcastically.

"Only the last moments of your life," mocked Batgirl playfully. "Why not spend them acting like a child?"

"That's my department anyway," chuckled Robin.

"Shut up, all o' you," demanded the man leading them on. "The boss lady didn't say you hafta be alive."

Eventually, the man and the zombies he lead had taken the masked vigilantes into what looked like a plant-themed throne room. Ivy was sitting on the throne with her right leg crossed over her left.

"Excellent work, Fenix," Ivy kissed her henchman on the cheek, making him smile. "As for you four, this may be pleasant, but it's no surprise. Well, other than The Catwoman being here. You're at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Sorry, Robin. Hate to do this to children, but you're on the wrong side. I especially love seeing you here, Batgirl. You've saved Batman from me more than once. You'll get it first. Speaking of Batman, you've been lucky for years, but it's all over. I was the smarter one all along. Care to beg for your lives?"

"No," said Batman. He had sneaked a smoke bomb into his right hand undetected by anyone. "But I would like a few last words."

"I'm listening," said Ivy.

"Never gloat over our 'defeat' until the belts are off." With that, Batman flung the smoke bomb at Ivy's left eye. The smoke burned it, causing her to fall onto the ground screaming in pain. As Batman hoped, the zombies all released their targets to help.

"No, you morons," shouted Fenix. "Back on them!" But it was too late. The four were already up. The plant zombies attacked again, but this time, it was a more manageable thirty-two against four.

"Gas," shouted Batman. He, Robin, and Batgirl threw gas pellets at the zombies, knocking them out. Fenix managed to move out of the way. Ivy did not have to because she was immune to poison.

"You won't get Madam Ivy without a..." he quieted upon realizing who he was talking to.

"I was going to say there were lots of women who deserve you more than Ivy," grinned Batgirl, "But I've changed my mind."

"Well, it looks like you've gotten me again," Ivy advanced towards Batman with open arms and projected pheromones. The lovely smell might have appealed to him if he had not recently found love.

"No," said Batman, pushing Ivy down.

"I'm the one who beat you to him, white bitch," smiled Catwoman.

"Call off your zombies," said Batgirl.

"I will do no such thing," said Ivy bravely. "Not when your victory is meaningless. See, my army's still in Gotham, set to crush the GCPD tomorrow. And even if there was anything you could do to stop them now that they know what to expect, You won't even get to try. My men will eventually realize that this has taken to long and send more zombies in to kill you. Only thing that can stop them is my voice. Like I said, Batman, I'm smarter than you."

Catwoman ran at the sitting Ivy and did a baseball slide into her knocking her out.

"That didn't help us," said Robin.

"So what?" asked Catwoman. "Nobody makes a play for _my_ man." She and Batman hugged.

"I wouldn't do that till we're out of this," said Batgirl. "And I don't see a way."

"You disappoint me, Batgirl," Batman shook his head. "Of course there's a way: her voice."

"She's nuts," said Catwoman. "We'll never intimidate her."

"Maybe not," Batman turned to Fenix. "But you should know her biology better than us. Coach us on what we're about to do or we'll make sure your friends know of your cowardice on Ivy's part."

"Strong argument," Fenix nodded. Batman, Robin, Catwoman, Batgirl, and Fenix put the helmet Ivy had used to communicate with her faraway plant zombies on her head to now be used also to control her through her unique biology.

"Stand," tested this. Ivy stood up like a robot. Robin jumped back in surprise. Catwoman could not help but laugh at him.

"Ha, ha," said Robin sarcastically.

"Tell your zombies to go to sleep for a month," said Batman.

"Go to sleep for a month," obeyed Ivy.

Batgirl looked outside to see the zombies asleep and smiled. "It worked. That's a switch. It's Ivy who's under control."

"I'll call the police and tell them about this," promised Fenix.

Batman, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Robin nodded. They had saved Gotham City once again!

**Lieutenant Freeman's perspective:**

The verdict was being read by Judge Thomas. "On the charges of conspiracy and aiding and abetting known fugitives, how do you find?"

"Not guilty on both counts," said the foreman.

"Then, as the defendants, Mr. Freeman, Mr. Bullock, and Ms. Montoya have been acquitted of all charges, they will taken back to the correctional facility and released. Court is adjourned." Thomas banged his gavel. Everyone in the courtroom filed out, but not before Yuji Takahan smirked at a disgusted Ben Jones.

As the three former cops left, Yuji said, "Is everyone unwilling to admit that my 'dirty tricks' were why we won?"

"I am," said Bullock.

"Of course, you are," Freeman shook his head. "You and him think alike."

"He's got you there, Harv," said Montoya.

"As much as I like winning," said an unhappy Anita Boggs, "I'm never working with Yuji again. You've been great clients."

Unfortunately, Freeman, Bullock, and Montoya were only going to be clients for some time, not police officers. As long as Studge was Commissioner, they would not be getting their jobs back.

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Barbara Gordon, and Tim Drake were watching TV in Wayne Manor's media room. They were waiting for Mayor Falsootu's speech about the end of Poison Ivy's attempted coup.

"So our friends on the police force made it?" said Selina.

"Yeah, but was it because they were right to help us or because of that witness who was explosive in all the wrong ways?" Barbara asked.

"Important thing is they're free," said Tim.

"There's Falsootu," said Bruce as he saw the Mayor step onto the podium.

"Guess he's got no choice but to acknowledge us as heroes," predicted Selina with satisfaction.

"Gotham has weathered a crisis," said Falsootu. "We have someone to thank. I present to you our savior, Fenix Smalls."

The true heroes of Gotham sat in shock as Fenix walked onto the podium and lied. In his telling, he had turned on Ivy because guilt over the impending conquest of Gotham gave Fenix the willpower to escape Ivy's charms and come up with the brilliant plan that saved Gotham. In reality, that was Batman's idea. All Fenix did was what he had to in order to survive after he had lacked the courage to risk his life.

"We owe Mr. Smalls a debt we can never repay," said Falsootu. "I am therefore ordering a monument in his honor."

Bruce turned off the TV.

"That piece of crap," snapped an angry Barbara. "He couldn't admit that we saved the city, so he's given the credit to a weak-willed coward."

"And it's his fault all this happened in the first place," Tim reminded everyone.

"I know," said Bruce. "But he won't get away with this. Someday, somehow, he'll get what's coming to him!"


	13. Tough Love

**Tim Drake's perspective:**

Tim was at the age where, as adults always predicted you would, You start getting interested in the opposite sex. Tim had had an eye on a member of his Reading/Writing class, Leianna Pippinski. When this day's class was over, Tim asked her, "Leianna, you doing anything on Friday night?"

"Yes," said Leianna, "But I'll gladly eat out with you on Saturday."

"Great," smiled Tim. "But what are you busy with on Friday?"

"My group meets on Fridays," said Leianna. "You want to know what it's about, meet me in the cafeteria. Maybe I can squeeze you in." She now had a mood swing and devilish smile. Had Tim steered wrong with her?

_No, it's gotta be my imagination. She's not a bad girl._

"Let me think about this," said Tim.

**Robin's perspective:**

"Is there something wrong?" asked The Batman as he and Robin watched the Gotham City streets below from a rooftop.

"Why would anything be?" asked Robin.

"I've had to work with youngsters for three and a half years now," said Batman. "I've learned that this takes a lot of patience, especially with their lips. But you haven't said three words all night."

"There's this girl," said Robin.

"Distractions are dangerous," said Batman.

"Considering you sometimes sleep with an ex-thief..." seeing that Batman was not happy that Robin went there, he continued, "This girl suggests I go with her to this group she's a member of."

"And you accepted?" asked Batman.

"I don't know why I didn't," said Robin. "She had this sinister look on her face when she told me about her group. I was scared it was a gang or something."

"It might be," said Batman, much to Robin's surprise. "Teenagers sometimes get involved with the wrong crowd. I've sent many to juvenile hall in my time because of this. Not all of these groups are bad, but just in case, I'd go for the purpose of investigation."

Before Robin could say anything, Batman pointed at the ground beneath and said, "Trouble!" It was a woman being chased by a man. Batman took the hook out of his Batgrapple so they could quickly use it to descend to the ground and pursue.

Being by far the smaller of the two heroes, Robin caught up to the man first and tackled him. He rained two punches on the back of the chaser's head before Batman finished him off with a kick.

The female target of the male criminal had stopped running upon realizing that she had been rescued by Batman and Robin.

"Thanks," said the woman. "I don't how I can repay you. Name's Claire." She walked forward with an open hand.

"No trouble," said Robin as he moved in for a handshake.

"Something's wrong," said Batman cautiously.

"She's not one of the people who believe Falsootu's lies," Robin assured his partner. "She's grateful."

"I am grateful," said Claire. A small spray can of mace fell out of her right sleeve into an outstretched hand. She used it to stun Robin and tackled him. "Grateful for you being easier marks than advertised, that is."

"Don't," Claire threatened Batman. "He gets much more mace, he'll go blind. By the way, get ready to take a beating when my husband comes to. What a trooper! For now, Batman, it's the masks or his eyes."

"Why are you doing this?" asked Robin. "We saved you. At least we thought we did."

"Yeah, you're heroes," said Claire. "But you're heroes with prices on your heads and it's hard to get a house in this city. Plus, we have a baby at home. Who wants their child to grow up in those loud apartments full of bad people?"

But Claire's rambling on had distracted her enough for Batman to Batarang the mace out of her hand. She tried to get it back, but Batman cut her off.

"You wouldn't hit a lady, would you?" asked Claire with her hands up. A right cross knocked her out.

"Didn't think you were a gentleman," laughed Robin through the pain.

Batman wasted no time looking at his eyes. "Nothing serious, but your night is over."

On the way back to the Batcave, Batman said, "I hope you realize that appearances can be deceiving."

"Yeah," agreed Robin. "Looked like a crime and it was a trick. Good thing the dad wasn't that much of a man and didn't last long."

"I don't even want you pursuing that lead you told me about," said Batman.

"What?" asked Robin. He did not like this at all.

"No buts, Robin," insisted Batman. "Tonight has shown that you're not ready to go solo."

"So I messed up," said Robin. "I don't fully trust Leianna, so it won't happen again."

"Of course it won't," said Batman. "You're not going."

"Tim Drake's not your foster son," said Robin sternly. "He doesn't follow your orders. You have no right to tell me what to do with my free time."

Several beats passed before Batman admitted, "You're right. I don't. But learn the lessons of tonight. This time Robin won't have me or Batgirl to pull him out of the stove."

Robin had not fully absorbed that. He really had to avoid mistakes this time. "I understand."

**Tim's perspective:**

Friday came. Tim was waiting in the school cafeteria. He sensed Leianna behind him. Though Robin would bolt around, Tim was supposed to be a normal, if somewhat pampered (his father, Jack, was an upper middle class businessman), boy. So he let Leianna tap him on the shoulder before slowly turning around.

"Hi," Leianna smiled at him.

"That was quite a shock," feigned Tim.

"Just having fun," said Leianna, hugging him. This actually was surprising. He had not known Leianna to hug before even the first date. She grabbed Tim by the wrist and dragged him away.

_Definitely not like her to come on this strong. Maybe this is just a side of her she only shows outside of school?_

Tim was taken to the parking lot. "Who's taking us?" he asked, not seeing any adults waiting.

"Me," Leianna opened the passenger's side of a car for him.

"I don't have a license, Leianna," said Tim. After all, he was only fifteen.

"Who said you're driving?" asked Leianna. "I'm older than you, so _I'm_ behind the wheel. Get in. And call me Leia."

But Tim was worried about something else: Leianna had not actually said that she had a license. Still, Tim found himself entering the car without asking if she did. Was he thinking with his impulses? Probably. He had a feeling that it was a good thing Poison Ivy had not targeted him with her pheromones during her recent attempt to take over Gotham.

Leianna hit the gas. She was thirteen miles over the speed limit. Not as fast as the Batmobile, but Tim had no doubt in Batman's driving skills. "L-Leia, do you have to drive so fast?"

"Not unless you want the boys to laugh that your new girlfriend was too rough on you," threatened Leianna.

Tim said nothing.

Leianna stroked his head. "Good boy."

Tim still hesitated to think that Leianna was with criminals. Being a little wild was a far cry from that.

At some point, Leianna said, "Timmy, you better harden up fast!"

"Why?" asked Tim.

"That would be telling," said a mischievous-sounding Leianna.

She finally parked near a small building. "This is the place," Leianna identified it. She led Tim to a door and guard.

"Life's a joke," said Leianna.

"You're OK," said the guard. Tim was guided by Leianna into the place and, eventually a large room full of children, aged ten to eighteen. Tim detected bad attitudes from them all.

"Get ready to meet the two coolest people in the world and my favorite couple of all time," said Leianna as she hugged Tim in excitement.

Tim looked in horror as the archcriminal known as Harley Quinn came through the door. "Kiddies," she called, "I present you our leader, The Clown Prince of Crime, the greatest guy in the universe, the one, the only, Joker!"

Into the room came The Joker in an academic robe like the one that Tim was told he would wear on graduation day. He could not believe that this was the man Leianna had chosen to follow. Batman had, as usual, been right. Why could he not be wrong this time?

"Greeting, keeds," said The Joker. "Your friends laughed at you for rejecting the so-called values of this screwed-up world. But now you are here because you have allowed me to tell you what you already knew: the best way to survive the madness of society is to embrace it. While others tell themselves that the world can ever be a better place, we will reduce the hypocrisy by maximizing the chaos. On that note, I present good news. We are now strong enough in numbers to put on shows that the boring party-poopers out there would rather die than watch! Frankly, wish granted. Enjoy yourselves tonight. Our path of destruction begins Monday night."

The Joker burst out laughing. Harley did as well. Kid after kid began laughing. Tim joined in only after he was signaled by Leianna's elbow that he was supposed to.

Festivities began. At one point, The Joker eyed Tim sharply and said, "What's your name?"

"Tim Drake," Tim identified himself.

"Have we met?" asked Joker.

"I'd be honored to think so," Tim tried to satisfy The Joker. For it seemed as though he was close to seeing that Tim Drake and Robin were the same boy.

"I never could forget such a face," said Joker as he walked away. Tim sighed in relief. His secret was safe. For now.

When the party ended, Leianna began driving Tim home. "You work for The Joker."

"_We _work for The Joker," said Leianna. "There's no turning back once you're in. Don't worry. It's so cool. Once you spend much time here, you wonder why you ever dreamed of living a normal life." Leianna seemed downright blissful. At least now Tim knew what had changed her. In fact, every other child or teenager at Joker's place seemed almost in a trance. Joker's charisma had manipulated these impressionable minds.

Tim came home very depressed. He knew what he had to do, but that meant turning against Leianna. And as much as Tim wanted to believe otherwise, he still liked her.

It was the next evening before Tim met with Bruce again. Bruce had been playing one of his golf games with other tycoons during the day.

"Before we get to business," said Tim, "There's something I've wanted to get off my chest for a long time."

"Go ahead," Bruce allowed.

"The golf games," began Tim. "Until Selina, the dates with girls you don't even know. The public drinking. The rumors you create that Lucius, not you, runs your company 'cause you can't do anything. Did I get them all?"

"No," said Bruce. "But I see how you might have a problem with that. These things are necessary to convince the press and its consumers that I'm just another wealthy nepotist. They must never suspect the truth about me."

"Never," realized Tim. "You were right about Leianna. She's one of the kids that The Joker has brainwashed."

"The Joker?" asked Bruce. "Children? This is very bad. I'll have to call Barbara and Selina about this."

"We're meeting again on Monday night," said Robin. "They're gonna create chaos."

"Not if we have anything to say about it," said Bruce.

**Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:**

The morning before The Joker's next caper began, Mayor Falsootu's Senior Adviser for Strategic Planning, Billy Hancock, stormed into his office.

"Brace yourself for a slow day, Mr. Mayor," said Hancock, "Franklyn's here."

"As in Patricia Franklyn?" asked Falsootu. "The District Attorney who's about to finish her first year on the job?"

"The same," explained Hancock. "She's demanding that the entire staff meet her in the lobby."

"I wouldn't want to be the exception," Falsootu nodded. "After all, she's the only person in town who can give the Mayor an order." They went to the lobby. Everyone in Falsootu's direct employ, even police Commissioner Ronald Studge, was there, facing Franklyn and four men standing behind her.

Franklyn was tense. "It's good that I have your attention because I want everyone to understand fully how serious this is. The Office of the District Attorney of Gotham City is probing this administration until further notice. The allegations are aiding and abetting a known terrorist, lawlessly misappropriating money, and abuse of power."

_S-she found out about my deal with Poison Ivy?_

"Don't tell me you believe that desperate lady's desperate attempt to curry favor with you," laughed Falsootu.

"She knows her only hope of release is to become sane, Mr. Mayor," said Franklyn. "You have more motivation to lie than her."

"If I didn't know better," Falsootu feigned outrage like the politician he was, "I'd think you were accusing the Mayor of Gotham City himself of serious crimes."

Ignoring Falsootu, Franklyn turned to her own four men and said, "Begin our investigation. Each evening, I want updates from you." Franklyn faced the Falsootu administration again. "No need to be afraid. You've done nothing wrong... right? Then the only way you can get in trouble is by hampering this probe."

Of course, Falsootu _had _done something wrong, even if ridding Gotham of the nutcases in masks had been worth it to him. And it was not as though he had known Ivy would betray him. But now, Falsootu's crusade threatened to be destroyed by a government employee with too much self-righteousness and too little resolve. He had to do something. That something was to take advantage of the fact that it was a woman on his case.

"Ms. Franklyn," smiled Falsootu cutely as he moved in close to Franklyn. "This has all been a misunderstanding. I'd be happy to discuss it over dinner?"

Franklyn paused. She seemed nervous. "This goes against my better judgement, but all right."

Upon returning to work in his office, Falsootu was confronted again by Senior Adviser Hancock. "Sir, I don't like what you're doing."

"What's not to like?" asked Falsootu. "I know women and how to appeal to them. True, Poison Ivy turned the tables on me and was the seductress that one time, but she's a metahuman. Franklyn is just an ordinary woman with ordinary genes. I can handle her. By morning she'll be loving the Charles Falsootu brand of meat and know that no more will be available until Batman, not me, is behind bars."

**Tim's perspective:**

"What's wrong?" Leianna asked Tim as she drove him back to The Joker's hideout.

"Just suspense," said Tim. It was true. He was to attend the meeting and inform Batman, Catwoman, and Batgirl of it. When they arrived, they would take out The Joker once again. Would he ever learn?

But it was not that simple this time. Tim really liked Leianna. After all, it was on a date that Leianna had taken Tim there. He really did not want to put her away with the scum who had recruited her.

"Leianna," tried Tim. "Are you sure about The Joker's philosophy?"

"Mm-hmm," said Leianna. "Coolest and most true thing ever. Hope you're not getting soft. It would break my heart, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."

Tim sighed. He really had no other choice.

When The Joker and Harley unveiled a map of Gotham City on their wall with the whole gang in their hideout, Robin asked, "I need to use the bathroom."

"Make it snappy," said Joker.

Robin left the room and then got out of the building through a window before picking up his phone. "Bruce, get the trace."

"Already have," said Bruce. "Find a place to hide. We'll bring your suit."

**Batman's perspective:**

Bruce, Barbara, and Selina had already been suited up in preparation for Tim's call to save time. Upon getting it, a Bruce who had once again become Batman turned to the women and said, "It's time. I have traced the call."

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Catwoman.

"Uh, the fact that he's got children working for him?" Batgirl pointed out.

"We'll be more diplomatic this time," said Batman. "But if they choose to follow Joker, we use nerve grips. Hopefully, that will subdue the kids without hurting them."

"I hope you're right," said Batgirl.

"Besides," said Catwoman. "Robin said that none of them are less than ten years old. They should know better than this by now."

Batman shook his head. While he knew that Catwoman had changed, it had hardly been to a true heroine. She remained a cynical person who was not above controversial tactics to succeed.

They drove to the spot that the tracing of Tim's phone call lead them to. When Batman saw Tim hiding behind a trash can, he stopped the Batmobile. Batgirl halted the Batcycle as well.

"Tim," said Batman, "Get in. Ladies, wait for us." With that, Batman drove Tim to an obviously deserted part of town where Tim could get his suit out of the trunk of the Batmobile without being seen. They returned to where Robin had been found.

"All right," said Batman resolutely. "It's time."

"I came out through that window," said Robin as he pointed at it. "Turn right and we should find laughing boy and his gang planning." Batman and Batgirl cast their Batgrapples into the open window. Robin held on to Batgirl and Catwoman to Batman as the Batgrapples retracted, pulling their holders up.

In the building, they saw a door to their right. So Batman charged it, knocking it down. The four vigilantes saw The Joker, Harley Quinn, and more than twenty young people, just like Robin said there would be.

"Well, if it isn't my old friend, Bats!" said Joker with glee.

"Sic 'em, boys an' girls," commanded Harley. Her young underlings advanced towards Batman, Robin, Batgirl, and Catwoman.

"Getting children to do your dirty work?" asked Batman. "This is low, even for you!"

"Works for you," chuckled Joker.

The children charged. While untrained and not fully grown, even these kinds of opponents were not easily defeated if you had to hold back. Nerve strikes enabled Batman, Batgirl, and Robin to take some out, but they ended up taking a lot of hits in the process. Catwoman, though, was fighting as usual. Therefore, she was having very little difficulty.

"Catwoman, they're just kids," shouted Batman.

"Bad kids," corrected Catwoman.

"Down," screamed Batgirl as she tackled Batman and Catwoman to save them from a spray of bullets. They rose to a squat to see The Joker and Harley grinning evilly at them.

"It's been real," The Joker spoke in an urban accent. "But ya gotta go now." He and Harley cackled as they opened fire.

Catwoman and Batgirl began cartwheeling to escape bullets. Batman was rolling to stay safe as well, but he had the presence of mind to set up his Mini-Batjet to fire at The Joker. When it was ready, Batman did just that. The Joker ducked.

"Missed me, missed me," taunted Joker.

_Only on the first try._

Sure enough, the electronically controlled Mini-Batjet turned around and flew right back at The Joker, knocking him out from behind! "Puddin'," exclaimed a concerned Harley as she checked to see if her lover was alright. This was enough of a distraction for Catwoman to knock her out with a running jump kick.

"We win again," smiled Catwoman. But Batman was far from pleased with her.

"Before you kill each other," said Batgirl, "Where's Robin?"

"Oh, no," Batman realized that Robin must have run out of the place for some reason. "Hold the fort, ladies. I'll go looking for him."

**Robin's perspective:**

At some point, Leianna had realized that the battle was going the wrong way from the other kids being knocked out and had bailed. Robin had pursued her. He was not about to let her get in any more trouble. But now she seemed to have disappeared somewhere. No nearby manholes or other convenient hiding places. She did not seem to know how to rig a car. She must, therefore, have been in a nearby building.

"Whoever you are," said Robin, "Listen to reason. You've been manipulated by a serial killer. But if you don't give yourself up, you'll get in big trouble."

Suddenly Robin felt a sharp pain in his right shoulder that forced him to the ground. His body armor seemed to have reduced the impact to a flesh wound, though it still hurt as though he we never use that arm again.

He saw Leianna drop to the ground from a window. She pointed a silenced pistol at Robin's head as she advanced. _No wonder I couldn't hear it._

"Guess who's wrong," grinned Leianna. "By the way, you look really cute in a Halloween costume, Timmy."

"What did you just say?" asked a surprised and defensive Robin.

"Come on," smirked Leianna. "We've been going out. I'd recognize that lower face and voice anywhere. So here's the deal. We're leaving this town and tearing up another. Your answer better be 'yes.'"

"Be mine or else?" asked Robin.

"'Fraid so," said Leianna. "1..."

Robin's belt was now covered by his cape, so he pulled a Batarang out.

"2..."

Just before he would have been shot dead, Robin threw a Batarang at the gun. Leianna managed to hold onto it, although this snapped her right arm to her upper right. Robin immediately threw another Batarang to Leianna's side. He only hoped she was distracted long enough to not notice the second one.

"Nice try, but Harley taught me how to shoot a gun," said Leianna as she took aim again. Upon hearing the Batarang hit the ground a distance behind her, the semi-psychotic Leianna turned around and shot several times at what she seemed to think was another assailant before her gun began clicking.

"Smart guy," admitted Leianna," dropping the gun and raising her hands. You got me."

Robin put her in Batcuffs and kissed her cheek. By this time, Batman had arrived.

"First time you were late for something that wasn't a date, huh, Batman?" grinned Robin.

**Falsootu's perspective:**

After a dinner with DA Franklyn, Mayor Falsootu felt confident that he had worn her down.

"Don't you realize that a great guy like me couldn't have done anything wrong, Patty?" Falsootu smiled.

"Probably," said Franklyn, returning Falsootu's smile with her own. "But only this investigation can prove that."

"How about I further demonstrate my innocence in a hotel out of town."

"I don't think the First Lady of Gotham would approve," said Franklyn.

"My wife knows I have to regularly meet with other mayors from the small towns for private and government business between our towns," explained Falsootu. "She'll never know the difference."

"OK," nodded Franklyn.

_Good! A night with me and she won't prosecute even if they get her a tape of me plotting with Ivy._

**Bruce's perspective:**

Selina would have gone home, but Bruce, seeing that she was troubled, let her accompany him to his room.

"Look, I'm sorry," said Selina. "I was too rough on those kids. A few are in the hospital."

"I'm glad you realize that," said Bruce.

"I've come to a conclusion," said Selina sadly. "I can't be a heroine. I'll just keep making these mistakes. I'll just move away."

"Absolutely not," said Bruce.

"Why won't you let me do this?" asked Selina.

"I'll give you four reasons," began Bruce. "In the first place, I wouldn't be much of a boyfriend or leader if I let you throw away a chance for redemption over a mistake. In the second, I know you're happier than you ever were as a thief. Third, I can't have you unnecessarily causing trouble. Fourth, the fact is that not much harm's been done. You didn't accidentally kill or permanently disable any of those children."

"In other words," Selina argued, "I got lucky."

"And your realizing that is why I can't let you leave," said Bruce. "Not when you've clearly learned from this mistake. The question is if you have the courage to face up the mistake or not."

Selina smirked. "Courage. That's something I've never had. From the death of my father to my last heist, I ran away from everything. Maybe it's time I stopped running."

Bruce nodded.

**Falsootu's perspective:**

Falsootu woke up. Franklyn was not in bed beside him. Surprisingly, though, she was standing up on the floor, dressed.

"I had a great evening," said Falsootu.

"Likewise," smiled Franklyn. "Your penis is tasty. Hate having to waste it, but I've got a job to do."

"Last night meant nothing?" asked Falsootu, pretending to be distraught.

"Of course it meant something," said Franklyn. "Now if you interfere with my investigation in any way, I'll let everyone know just how faithful a husband you are, you arrogant son of a bitch! I didn't want to hear what that psychotic eco-terrorist said about you, but now that you've tried to get me to call of the dogs this way, I've little doubt. Can you tell I'm not one of your whores?" She stormed out of the hotel room.

Falsootu sighed. He was really in trouble. His plan to charm Franklyn out of investigating had backfired. He was reduced to hoping that she would never find the evidence. If she did, The Batman would win the war between himself and the Mayor.

"And don't call me Patty," called Franklyn's voice from outside.

**Tim's perspective:**

Leianna was in Juvenile Hall. Tim chose to visit her.

"Your secret is safe," said Leianna. "But why haven't you forgotten about me?"

"Because you're gonna get help," said Tim. "Look, we're kids. We're impressionable. God knows I'm not perfect. You'll turn your life around just in time for graduation and we can forget all this."

Leianna smiled. "Pity I didn't follow the guy you did. I can't help but think I might not be here in the first place."

"Don't ever doubt that," said Tim. They hugged.


	14. Endgame

**Mayor Charles Falsootu's perspective:**

The Mayor's phone rang. It was Commissioner Ronald Studge. "Hello?"

"Y-your honor..." began the Commissioner.

"If you have something to say to me," Mayor Falsootu braced himself, "Say it."

"I haven't been able to get the DA to drop this," said Studge.

"No surprise," said a bored Falsootu. "Is that all you called me for, Commissioner?"

"I'm told by GCPD Intelligence that the DA thinks she's close to conclusive evidence against you."

Falsootu almost fell out of his chair. This news would have made a notice that he was twenty points behind his likely opponent for re-election look like a rainbow!

_Why? Why does Patricia Franklyn have to have so damn much integrity? Why can't she accept the cynical state of the world?_

"Sir?" asked a concerned Studge.

"I'm fine," said Falsootu. "For now. I'm hanging up, but be prepared for further orders."

The next time Senior Adviser for Strategic Planning Billy Hancock entered the office, Falsootu said, "We've got a problem. Franklyn is close to busting us."

"How?" asked Hancock. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Don't be so naive," said Falsootu. "If something corroborates Poison Ivy's despicable claim that I helped finance her recent attack on this city by sheer chance, it may be enough for an article of impeachment. And if I go down, a lot of you will, too! And even if we don't, my popularity will crumble. And if that happens, I'll likely have a bill to rescind my arrest orders against The Batman and his friends passing over my veto."

_Nobody needs to know that what Ivy says about me is true. Not when I have a city to save._

"I think you should volunteer for a subpoena before it happens," suggested Hancock. "Kill her case before it's built."

"Wouldn't work," refused Falsootu. "She's a great cross-examiner. She can make anybody look guilty." That was a guess, but it was also Falsootu's only excuse for not doing the one thing he dared not do!

"Then we need to get Batman while we still can," realized Hancock.

"Yes, of course," smiled Falsootu evilly. "Why didn't I think of this. Everybody likes a winner, and if we put him away in the week or two I have before Franklyn has her evidence, the public will overwhelmingly support me. If she tries to take me out then, she'll be guaranteeing her own defeat next election! Just make sure Studge knows to bring them in alive and unrevealed. I want the whole city to be able to see the end of their careers to add twenty decibels to the trumpets for me."

"First," said Hancock, "We need to plan our collar."

"Yes," agreed Falsootu. "Everything has set up what I knew was on the way: the final showdown between The Batman and myself. One of us is going to end up in Blackgate. And I certainly don't plan on rotting as the maniac in a mask continues to terrorize this town."

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

During a coffee break at work, Bruce was reading _Gothic Report_, a Gotham based news blog, when he discovered an interesting story about Patricia Franklyn, the District Attorney.

"I'm not at liberty to say," Franklyn was quoted as having said, "Nor is it my intention to embarrass the Mayor. But I would be doing the public a disservice if I did not see this through... the Mayor has got to understand that no one is above the law."

Bruce rubbed his eyes in ecstasy at what he had just read. He read it again. It was true. What he had been unable to do, someone else who had gone along with whatever Falsootu had wanted so far, was about to do for him. Bruce had to laugh at the irony. He had to share it with his allies.

That evening Alfred laughed at the irony. "It's true what they say. Justice prevails, even thanks to those you never thought would do you justice."

"You're telling me," smiled Selina Kyle. "This must be the side of the authorities that you folks believe in so passionately."

"Right has to prevail at some point," said Tim Drake.

"Well, I for one can't wait," said Barbara Gordon. "After what he did to Dad, it's gonna feel so good to see him get what he deserves!"

"Agreed," said a cautious Bruce, "But nothing's official yet. My Father was a hunter. He told me that an animal was very dangerous when he was trapped and his or her only way out was to deal with you. Remember that."

**Batman's perspective:**

The Batman and Robin were watching the streets below the skyscraper they were on. A pair of burglars were walking out of a jewelry store below.

"Let's drop in on 'em," suggested Robin. He and Batman took the grappling hooks out of their Batgrapples to lower themselves to the ground. By that time, the burglars were driving away in a car, so Batman and Robin threw Batarangs at the wheels, flattening the rear tires.

The burglars got out and started running. "Help, police," one of them shouted. _Clever. Most criminals are too afraid of us to think to take advantage of the fact that we're wanted by the police._

"Keep chasing them," commanded Batman. "At least for now." They each tackled a different burglar and rammed their targets' faces into the ground multiple times to dispatch them.

After Batman and Robin had called to authorities and were on the way out, Batman realized, "The police didn't respond to the burglars' call for help."

"Maybe they didn't hear them," Robin figured.

"It's Gotham City," Batman dismissed that. "The police have to be ready for trouble everywhere in town. Yet the Batnavicomputer shows that they never responded until we called them."

"You mean they looked and saw that we were there and didn't even try to catch us?" asked Robin.

"That's exactly what I mean," said Batman grimly. "They're planning something big. Be prepared."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

The Batgirl was driving the Batcycle with The Catwoman holding on behind her. They had foiled a couple crimes when Batgirl hit the brakes.

"Did you see something I didn't?" asked Catwoman.

"No," said Batgirl thoughtfully, "But I don't see police cars looking for us. You noticed?"

"Yeah," realized Catwoman. "You're right. We usually have to be careful they can't spot us too easily.

"Mm-hmm," Batgirl said. "In fact, we have to make excessive turns and take long ways around to keep from being spotted and a ring of cop cars from being thrown around us. Just to make sure, I'm driving straight ahead, full blast, for fifteen minutes."

"That's a big risk," said Catwoman cautiously.

"Maybe I shouldn't ask too much of a reformed cat-burglar," Batgirl shook her head, "But you've got a real courage problem. I've gotten out of police ambushes before and besides, we'll be keeping a look out for the boys and girls in blue. We'll be OK."

"First of all," said Catwoman. "I don't appreciate being called a coward. Batman would never let you do this ei..." Batgirl shut her up by hitting the gas.

The Batcycle had gone for nine miles before Catwoman finally chanced yelling, "I sure hope you know what the Hell you're doing," to be heard over the engine. Some time later, Catwoman shouted, "Dammit, Batgirl, it's been more than fifteen minutes. Stop this thing right now!"

Batgirl stopped the Batcycle and said, "Sorry!"

"Not as sorry as you'll be if you ever do something like this again," said Catwoman, cracking her whip on the concrete below their feet.

Sensing Catwoman's anger, Batgirl softly said, "If you'll just calm down, you'll realize that we got away with this."

"So we did," noticed Catwoman. "Guess your hunch was right. Now what?"

"We'll tell Batman back at his place," said Batgirl. "He'll know what to do. He always does."

"But as I said, he wouldn't have allowed you to pull that shit!"

"You realize that means you were wrong too, right?"

"Kids. You think you're immortal."

**Falsootu's perspective:**

"Any progress?" asked Falsootu on the phone.

"None," said Studge.

"Didn't take the bait, huh?" Falsootu figured.

"Probably weren't in the right spot," contended Studge. "It's a big city. We'll keep trying."

"Don't try," said Falsootu with anger. "Do it! If I go down, the 'What did you know about me?' questions will probably destroy you as well."

"Your faith is inspiring," joked Studge. "Trust me. We'll catch them in time."

"Or I'll be the most hated Mayor of all time," worried Falsootu.

**The Huntress' perspective:**

Unlike Batman's team, The Huntress had noticed a mugging and burglary take place one the same block. The car the criminals entered was driven very fast and skillfully. The Huntress struggled to keep up on her motorcycle, but eventually trailed the car to outside of Gotham.

_Out-of-towners who decided to play for higher stakes than jacking cars like other criminals do? Good for me, then. They've got nowhere to move out in the open._

Suddenly, the trunk of the car opened. A large light projector flashed on Huntress, blinding her. The shock of losing her sight caused her to fall off her bike and to the ground. She could vaguely make out the dirt in front of her so she sighed in relief. Her vision would soon return. But her targets were long gone.

Except they were not. Huntress felt her wrists being cuffed together. Then many hands grabbed her. It felt like it was more than the two people she had seen enter the car. The others must have hidden in the floorboards of the car.

"We're undercover," She heard a male voice say. "You're under arrest for vigilantism, mayhem, countless cases of assault, and surprisingly for you people, a few counts for murder. You have a right to remain silent."

Before the rest of the police ritual was read, The Huntress said, "Damn you and your 'rights.'" She struck both men with her own head. One of them responded by a baton over The Huntress' head, dropping her. She was prevented from getting up with a few more baton hits.

By this point, Huntress was moaning in pain. "I expect thugs to take advantage and beat girls," said Huntress, desperate to buy time to find a way out of the pickle she was in. "Not You."

"It's not going to get any easier until you cooperate," said one of the cops.

"Screw you," spat The Huntress.

"Business before pleasure," said another other officer.

**Falsootu's perspective:**

Falsootu was awakened by his phone. "Who is it?" asked Carol, Falsootu's wife.

"Studge," said Falsootu. "It's business. Go back to sleep." As Carol did, Falsootu answered the phone. "What's so important that I had to be awakened."

"We got The Huntress," said Studge.

"Nobody cares about her," said Falsootu. "Wait. I'll announce the capture and maybe Batman will attempt to rescue her. He's worked with her on occasion."

"We'll be ready," promised Studge.

"Great," smiled Falsootu. "Because if you blow this, you're as screwed as I am."

"I said we'd get him," said Studge.

"This time you mean it," said an unmoved Falsootu.

**Studge's perspective:**

Studge was visiting an inmate in Blackgate Penitentiary. "So that's the deal. You get a pardon. We get more valuable collars than you."

The inmate nodded.

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Selina had brought her pet cougar, Caesarion, to Wayne Manor. That was a sign that she knew of recent developments.

"So are we gonna rescue The Huntress?" asked Tim.

"Yes," said Bruce.

"She's not a great person," said Barbara, "But her heart's in the right place. "We've gotta help."

"Agreed," said Bruce. Not the least of which because The Huntress was responsible for the Traylor family not having a puppet Mayor, although because of the underhanded way Huntress had pulled that off, Bruce could not tell of it. Ironically, though, that plan had also put a not much better Mayor in power. It was amazing how things worked out!

**Batman's perspective:**

It had been announced that before The Huntress was officially booked, she would be embarrassed by a righteous speech and unmasking, courtesy of Falsootu. But although Batman, Catwoman, Batgirl, Robin, and Caesarion were near the place just out of town where this was to happen, it looked either unprotected or with all the guards inside.

"The animals are often the first to know," noted Batman, looking at Caesarion.

"I'll spare you the trouble," offered Catwoman. "Caesarion can't find any in hiding either."

"I don't want to be cliche," said Robin.

"I don't care," said Batgirl. "It's too easy."

"I know," said Batman. "Some other shoe is going to drop."

Nonetheless, they entered the place. They were in a large, wide-open room, with The Huntress bound to a pole and gagged. She was struggling to say something through her gag.

"You're a real bitch," said Batgirl. "You owe me big time." Suddenly, a net came over the rescuers. Before they could finish using their sharp tools to cut free, Batman felt something really hard hit him in the back of the head, knocking him down.

"Croc!" Batman heard the others yell as having his head rammed into the ground knocked him out.

**The Huntress' perspective:**

The Huntress' heart sank. She had tried to warn her failed rescuers what was coming but was gagged. As they were taken away, unconscious, Croc walked up to her and ripped the tape off her.

"Ow," screamed Huntress.

"I ain't forgotten the time you filled me with bolts," said Croc. "They're takin' my place in Blackgate, but your head's gonna be mine!" _Literally, no doubt._

"Bite me," taunted Huntress.

"Don't tempt me," said Croc, walking away.

Things looked bleak.

**Falsootu's perspective:**

"We got 'em," Studge said proudly to Falsootu on the phone.

"Excellent, Studge," smiled Falsootu. "Are their masks off?"

"As you ordered, no, sir," said Studge.

"Then it's got to that way for now. Line the nutcases in costumes up in chairs. Do nothing else until I and some journalists I know have arrived."

"Will do," complied Studge.

"Goodbye," said Falsootu, hanging up. He was extremely happy. While Franklyn was finalizing her case against him, it was about to not matter. When Falsootu's approval rating shot up over seventy percent, Franklyn would have no choice but to drop the matter and hope Falsootu did not bankroll an opponent to depose her in her next primary election.

Falsootu would think about it. For a few seconds.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and his allies were strapped together in electric chairs. They still had their belts but were being watched with guns trained on them in case they tried anything. It was almost like being tied up in the desert and having bottles of sun tan lotion just out of arm's reach.

Falsootu was there with the media. Batman sighed. This was not how he envisioned this rivalry ending. The megalomaniacal Mayor was about to unmask his enemies and it would be in front of the whole city. He would heal his newfound legal/political wound in doing so. Batman needed to think of something. But it had been forty minutes since they had been captured and he could still think of nothing.

Falsootu moved right behind Batman. Commissioner Studge was behind Batgirl. Three members of Falsootu's cabinet were behind Catwoman, Robin, and The Huntress. Apparently, Falsootu wanted them all to be unmasked at once.

"Roll cameras and prepare to go down in history," Falsootu told the lucky journalists covering this spectacle."

"Ladies and gentlemen," told a news lady with a microphone in front of the camera, "You are witnessing one of biggest events in the history of Gotham: the unmasking of The Batman and his comrades. Some of you likely watch in disbelief, others glad to see them destroyed. In any case it is Mary Mays of WT58 Gotham that's breaking our great city's biggest story in a generation!"

"My fellow citizens of Gotham," said Falsootu, "It may have taken a little longer than you'd hoped, but does the Mayor keep his promises, or does he keep his promises? Some of you may feel as though these lost souls are misunderstood, but the wrong thing for the right reason is still the wrong thing. And thus, we restore order to Gotham."

"Falsootu," Batman knew what he had to say, "Be lenient to the others. I was the one who formed this team. I give the orders. No buts, people. No sense in all us all going away for the rest of our lives."

"I'm sorry to say, Batman," Falsootu said with insincerity that could not begin to fool Batman, "But the thieving Catwoman and brutal Huntress have committed crimes that the rest of you have turned a blind eye to. You must all be punished."

"You won't get away with this," said Batgirl.

"That's exactly what I've been warning _you_," said Falsootu. "And District Attorney Franklyn, because I know you're watching, if I had done anything wrong, would I not have accepted the bribes they offered?"

"That's not true," snapped Robin.

"That's one crime even I didn't commit," said Catwoman.

"You're gonna pay for this, Falsootu," promised The Huntress.

But Batman knew that they were finished. The only thing to do was to protect those they trusted their secret identities with. "Falsootu, no associates of ours when we take off these masks know of our double lives."

"We'll see," said Falsootu. "Fellow saviors of Gotham, unmask your collar on three.

"No, please," shouted Batgirl. "I'm sorry I disobeyed your orders, Dad! Don't make the same mistake I did, brother!"

"1... 2... 3!"

This seemed to be it. Batman had always suspected that he might die one day. Instead, it seemed that he was to be unmasked before the world. A world that would believe he was a criminal. But as Falsootu touched his mask, the lights went out.

"What's going on?" Falsootu demanded with a politician's controlled emotion.

"Mr. Mayor," said someone elsewhere, "Power's been cut."

"Won't stop the cameras," said Mary Mays. "Just switch to night-vision."

"About that," said a cameraman. "I'm afraid these things seem to have been hacked."

By this time, Batman noticed that his limbs were free. But how? As he wondered, he noticed that he had been hoisted onto a large person's shoulders like the straps of a backpack.

"Don't worry," whispered a female voice. "Ah gotcha. Just keep it quiet."

Batman was spirited out of the place. Not hard to do since it was dark and his rescuer seemed able to see in the dark. Soon enough, he saw that the same had been done for the others. The people who had gotten them out were garbed in black and masked.

After Batman and his allies were taken a distance away from the building to two cars, the five unmasked. It was Becky "The Hog" Traylor, her cousin Daisy Thompson, nephew Joey, and two regular thugs.

"You're not the last people I'd expect to come to our aid," said Batman, "But you're far down the list."

"Back home you get thanked for helpin' somebody," chuckled the Southern Hog.

"Don't give us that," said Batgirl.

"Ah'll give you three reasons," explained The Hog. "First, Little Bat, Ah like you. Ah've never lied about that. Second, Ah owe you. After all, you've rescued me on more than one occasion. And then there's the fact that we're outta the crime business."

"This is the first I've heard of this," said Batman, interested but suspicious.

"Ah've been thinkin' about my brother, Al," said The Hog. "Ah was raised in this business. Never questioned it. But now Ah've come to realize that maybe there truly ain't no honor among thieves."

"Indeed," Batman agreed.

"Ah know Papa would be disappointed," said The Hog, "But Ah gotta do what's best for the whole family Ah lead. Can Ah assume that you're goin' after Falsootu?"

"Yes," said Batman. "He was working with Croc. He's our ticket to ending this war."

"It's hard enough to convince people that the Traylor family's gone straight," said The Hog apologetically. "We can't help you anymore."

"I understand," nodded Batman. "You've done enough. Is there any catch?"

"Nuh-uh," said The Hog. "But if your conscience tells you different..." she moved in close.

"Get your own man," said Catwoman, touching Batman's shoulders from behind.

"Beat me to 'im," realized The Hog. "It don't work out, offer's on the table."

"What about you?" Joey smiled at Batgirl.

"If I didn't have a BF from out of town," Batgirl confessed, "I'd be tempted."

"I'm available," said The Huntress. "Just don't call me. I'll come for you."

"Ah'd like that," grinned Joey.

The Traylors drove away. "Night vision lenses on," said Batman as he turned his on.

"Don't have that, but I do have goggles," said The Huntress. They rushed into the place.

They saw the people inside still trying to get the power back on. So Batman, Huntress, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Robin began sneak attacking and whittling down their opponents' numbers.

"Croc," shouted Falsootu. "Help!" Croc did. His superhuman strength apparently applied to his eyes and ears, which certainly explained how he could thrive in a sewer. He took turns inflicting punishment on Batman and his friends. The element of surprise was serving him well.

Knowing that Falsootu's men would soon recover and open fire, Batman acted quickly. He snatched a camera from a cameraman and flung it at Croc's head, stunning him. He was further stung by Batgrapples to the head launched by Batgirl and Robin. Catwoman then took the opportunity to knock him down with a foot sweep from behind, setting him up for a Huntress crossbow bolt to the belly, incapacitating, but thanks to his tough hide, not killing him. He was their key witness, after all.

With Croc beaten, Batman and company went back to work on Falsootu's men. Before much longer, they were finished. Batman grabbed Falsootu while the others seized Croc. Both were dragged outside.

"You can do what you want with me," said Falsootu, "But it will only make me a martyr."

"Who said anything about hurting you?" asked Batman. "Croc, were you working for him?"

"Y-yeah," said Croc.

"He's a liar," said Falsootu. "He won't outlast my lawyers."

"Second nut," said Batgirl. "A pattern."

"Better pay those slick lawyers all they're worth," warned Robin.

**The Hog's perspective:**

"Ah have to admit that bein' a good girl sure feels good," said The Hog to the rest of the Traylor family leadership the next day.

"Good enough to be worth giving this city up?" asked Yuji Takahan, the family accountant/lawyer.

"Ah think so," said Joey. "Losin' my Dad was bad enough. Ah ain't losin' nothin' else."

"Just one thing," The Hog said to Joey. "If The Huntress really does become your girlfriend, you tell me about every contact from now on. She ain't like Little Bat. She's killed."

"Ah'm a grown man now, Aunt Becky," said Joey.

"Just bein' a good Aunt," smiled The Hog.

**Johnny's perspective:**

Johnny and Frankie were common police officers. James Gordon was Commissioner again. He had rehired Captain Marc Freeman and Lieutenants Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya for having courageously gone behind a corrupt mayor's back. Johnny felt terrible because he and Frankie had known what Falsootu was doing to Gordon and The Batman was not right but said nothing.

"We shouldn't have gone along with it," Johnny said to Frankie.

"I know," agreed Frankie.

"Will they ever forgive us?"

"I sure hope so. Doubt they'll forgive the civilians who bought into the scam artist we used to call Mayor, but in any case, Gordon, Freeman, Bullock, and Montoya will always lead us. Because they're people of honor."

Johnny nodded. No one would have blamed those people for walking away from Gotham, but they had not. "Amen."

**Bruce's perspective:**

This meeting between crimefighters at Wayne Manor was a very happy one. Falsootu had resigned. He claimed to have neglected his family and was going to focus on it for the rest of his life.

"I love winning," said Selina.

"He's not getting what he deserves though," said Tim. "Not after he pal'ed around with crazy criminals."

"And Franklyn apparently won't charge him now that he's resigned," added Barbara. "Politicians."

"I'll take it," said Bruce. "The important thing is, we no longer have to worry about the police. Organized crime may be dead, too, if the Traylors were telling the truth."

"Can we trust them?" asked Barbara.

"I changed," said Selina. "You never know."

"Indeed," agreed Bruce. "The only major threats against Gotham are likely to be the archcriminals of Arkham. We must keep a watchful eye out for..."

Bruce noticed the Batsignal outside.

"Thought I might never see that thing," smiled Tim.

"Let's show everyone that there are no hard feelings," said Barbara.

Bruce nodded in agreement.

**And this concludes the story. I hope you have enjoyed Enemy of Gotham and the Defender of Gotham series that came before it. Goodbye, adios, and au revoir!**


End file.
